Go with the flow
by Sideshowmail
Summary: One moment I am just shopping, and then suddenly I end up in the world of One Piece. How do I think I can survive this madness without losing my sanity? Well, I guess I will go with the flow. A flow that's like a raging maelstrom. Self-Insert fic. Original characters.
1. Great encounters

1\. Great encounters

''What the heck is going on here!''

That is a question anybody would ask if they find themselves in a damp hot jungle with a shopping cart. Add the fact that I am wearing a winter jacket makes things pretty uncomfortable.

''Okay. Calm down. My mind is playing tricks with me.''

I blink.

Once.

Twice.

''Like that is going to work!'' I grumble angrily while I take of my winter jacket. With a huff, I put it in the shopping cart. I feel a painful throb in my head. Pretty much an aftereffect of what I felt earlier.

''Stupid sudden headache. Stupid sound overdose. Stupid blackout.''

 **Boom**

''Urgh. My head is killing me.''

 **BOom**

''Hngg.''

 **BOOm**

''Wait. This doesn't sound like it is inside my head,'' I realised.

 **BOOM**

I aim head in the direction of the sound. Just in time to see some trees being swept aside by, how-the-fuck-is-this-possible-and-why-is-my-jaw-hanging-in-the-shopping-cart?

''Gababababa! It has been a while since I have seen a human,'' booms a jolly voice.

The last thing I registered was a giant bearded guy before my mind decided it had seen too much bull to deal with.

-GWTF-

My consciousness was slowly slipping back into my mind. I felt that I was lying with my back on the ground. No wait, it felt more like dried grass. Why am I lying on a bunch of grass? O yeah, shopping, sudden spell of the most hellish headache I ever had, ending up in a jungle and seeing a giant. Wait what?

I slowly tried to sit upright and opened my eyes. I was indeed sitting on a bunch of straw laid down like some makeshift bed. A quick look around me confirmed that I'm in some sort of cave. The shopping cart was parked next to me. Farther away from me was the end of the cave. A fire was lit and a big hump of meat was roasted above it. And when I said big, I should have said cow-size big. Next to it I saw the back of the giant that presumably brought me here. Wasn't his name Brody or something like that? I forgot whether he was the red or the blue ogre. Silly Marine with their naming.

But wait. If I am here and there is Bro giant, that means I'm in the world of One Piece.

''How the flying flip notes did that happen?'' I yelled upon this revelation.

''Hey, you are awake?'' asked the giant. ''Get yourselves some delicious dinosaur meat. There is plenty.''

My stomach growls in response.

''Eeeeh. Well. I am kinda hungry.''

With some support of the shopping cart I stroll towards him. Some bones scattered around the floor catch my eye. I shuddered at this reminder of mortality. If it weren't for the fact that I knew the giants aren't malicious, I would have tried to run away. I blinked a few time when the sunlight shone on my face. Now that I got closer, I had a better look at the giant. While he was big in the anime, he looks even bigger now I see him in real life. His size made me feel like an insignificant insect. And his voice is booming. I couldn't help but stare at him.

''Don't be shy and have a bite.'' He gives me a chunk of meat as big as my head.

''It's err, just that I've never seen a giant before,'' I answer awkwardly. ''I did see giants in storybooks and stuff, but never for real.'' I took a look at the towering figure next to me. ''To be honest, I am kinda scared. I mean, you are huuuge. But I think you aren't a bad person. And people get scared of things they don't know about so err. Hi.'' I wave at the giant. ''I'm Alexandra.''

''I'm Brogy, Elbaf's strongest warrior,'' answers Brogy proudly.

''Nice to meat you, Brogy.'' I took a bite. A sweet and tender flavour reached my mouth. ''Hmm. Thish meawt ish delwecious.''

''Gababababa, glad you like it, Alexandra,'' laughed Brogy. ''I'm sure we can exchanges some stories. Where did those things come from? '' He points at my winter jacket and the shopping cart.

''Ehh,'' I scratched the back of my head. ''that is quite a weird story. I barely understand it myself.''

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOM**

I jumped with a shrieking ''Hieeeeeee'' as a volcano erupted.

Bogy's expression instantly changed. With a determinate gaze he rose from the ground and picked up his axe.

''Sorry for this, but I have to leave now.''

''Leave? But we just got acquainted.''

''This is a matter of honour,'' said Brogy solemn.

With these slightly words he stepped into the jungle.

I remembered it had to do with a duel. Man, soon I will see two giants locked in battle. I shuddered a bit. It will look awesome, but it is so dangerous to get close. I wished I had popcorn in the cart. I grabbed my handbag from the cart and found my smartphone.

''Ahem.'' I then started filming. ''Adventure log entry one, by Alexandra.'' I shortly aimed the screen on my face. ''I somehow ended up at an island while I was shopping.'' I made sure the screen was aimed at the shopping cart, then at the vast jungle in front of me. ''But that isn't the most amazing about it. As you can see, that was just a giant walking away.'' Just as I said that, Brogy started to run, only to meet the other giant (Doby?) halfway. With a huge bang, axe and sword clashed on each other. As result a shockwave reverberated over the island and knocked me over.

''Humongous,'' I gasped.

With a shaking hand, I tried to film the battle. But my mind seemed to be dull. And I had no idea whether or not everything was on the screen.

-GWTF-

''And then he did whoosh and you did whoosh and then bang and clang and crash and…'' I stood there waving like an idiot, while two giants looked amusingly at me.

''Gyagyagyagya! She sure is a peppy little human,'' Laughed the giant with a long beard. He reminds me a bit of my swimming instructor from long ago. All the kids were terrified of him due to his booming voice and long beard.

''So you are Alexandra? My name is Dorry.''

I waved at Dorry and took a look at both giants. They both were bruised and bleeding a bit.

''Are you guys okay?''

''Wounds like these mean nothing to giants like us. Right Dorry?''

''Sure it is Brogy.''

''Gababababa!''

''Gyagyagyagya!''

''Gababababa!''

''Gyagyagyagya!''

''Teeheeheehee.''

I couldn't help but laugh to. It is just so contagious.

''So what brings the two of you here to this island?''

''A duel of honour,'' responds Brogy.

''Err, what does that mean?''

''We giants of Elbaf value honour as our treasure. To defend our honour, we have been battling for 100 years,'' explains Dorry.

''That is a long time,'' I mused.

''Not for us. We live tree times longer than little humans.''

''But what if someone wins. What happens to the loser?''

''The loser dies in battle,'' stated Dorry.

''B-b-b-but. You guys seem to get along well. Can't you just say it's a tie?''

''A tie? You are telling us to drop our honour and leave it at a tie?'' roared Brogy.

''Hieeee!'' I curled up in a shivering ball.

''Shouldn't have said that shouldn't have said that shouldn't have said that.''

''Is she always this jumpy?'' wondered Dorry.

''She did faint when she saw me and the volcano spooked her.''

''Shouldn't have said that shouldn't have said that shouldn't have said that.''

''What is that metal thing there?'' Dorry pointed at the shopping cart. In the corner of my eye I saw his finger approaching it. Like he wanted to poke it.

''Hey watch out.'' I quickly rose on my feet, ran towards the cart and embraced it. ''My stuff is in there.''

''What stuff?'' I'm sure if it wasn't for the helmet, I would have seen him raise his eyebrow.

''Handbag, winter jacket, groceries,'' I summed up. ''O crap! The ice cream!''

I quickly grabbed a bucket of some sweet milky fluid.

''Err, ever tasted molten ice cream?''

I got some blank stares as a response.

''O-kayyy. Maybe some bell peppers?'' I showed them the red veggies.

I removed my handbag and jacket from the cart. ''You know what? Just pick anything you like from the cart. I got milk, raisin bread, Oreo cookies. Eat it, break it, use it to lure dinosaurs. Both of you, do something with it. See it as an apology for the cultural insult I have accidently said.''

''You said something?'' grinned Brogy.

''I have no idea what that would be,'' responded Dorry with an equal big grin.

-GWTF-

The rest of the day was spend by sharing food and drinks. Munching on some dinosaur meat I gazed upon the giants who discussed the foods while mending their weapons. It feels strange to me. These two look like best friends, but they try to kill each other on a daily basis. What a cultural difference.

''Hey Alexandra. Do you have a place to spend the night?'' asked Brogy.

Crap. I totally forgot to set up a camp. ''No, I haven't.''

''Why don't you stay at my place?''

''She can go to mine.''

''Okay, okay. Can we arrange that tonight I will stay at Brogy's place and tomorrow at Dorry's and then switch it every time?''

''Deal,'' responded both of them.

-GWTF-

That night I stayed at Brogy's place. First I was a bit afraid of the idea to sleep next to a giant. But Brogy made a small bed for me in a smaller space of the cave. That way, the cave prevented Brogy from accidently rolling over me in his sleep. Although he explained that he doesn't toss and turn much. Still, I was glad to have some resemblance of a slightly safer place to sleep. Due to a lack of pyjama's, I just lied down on the bed with my normal clothes on. I kept my jacket close in case I needed some sort of cover.

I looked at Brogy who was already asleep. He looked a bit blurred due to the fact I wasn't wearing my glasses. Man, who would have thought I stayed in a cave with a giant. I chuckled quietly. Just look at me, sleeping in a cave with a guy I just met today. I'm sure my parents wouldn't approve.

My parents. How would they fare? After all, I was going out for some shopping and never returned. I'm sure they would get worried after a hour. Maybe they think I was kidnapped.

I shiver at the memory of a few weeks ago. In one of the bigger cities in the country, a young woman suddenly disappeared. Even after a week, she wasn't found. They first found some items like her jacket and her bag. But she herself seemed to be swallowed by the earth. Eventually she was found. Dead.

My parents would probably think that the same happened to me. I wished there was some way to tell them that I'm okay. That they don't need to worry.

Tears stung in my eyes. For the first time in my whole life I felt homesick.

-GWTF-

 _''_ _One has appeared again.''_

 _''_ _Where this time?''_

 _''_ _Little Garden.''_

 _''_ _Let's make the preparations.''_

AN: So this was the first chapter. It took some time, especially because English isn't my native language. In case you are wondering, I use British English, because I got that at school. So I write honour and flavour instead of honor and flavor.

Have a nice day ^^


	2. Overwhelming experiences

Spoiler warning: mentions of events in manga chapter 885

 **2\. Overwhelming experiences**

Do you know the feeling when you wake up, the sun is shining through the window and you hear the birdies sing? I didn't have that feeling. Instead I woke up with the screech of a pterodactyl, screamed out my lungs and woke up Brogy. After a laugh, he offered me a cooled piece of meat. I tell you, I love eating meat. Almost as much as a certain young captain. But big pieces of meat are not what I call breakfast. Still, the only thing I can do is to adapt to the situation. Which isn't something I'm that good at. I miss my normal breakfast. No sliced bread, no slices of mild cheese and no tea or coffee. Add the fact that I had used a big part of the night overthinking HOW I ended up here and had a stupid nightmare about being chased by dismembered dinosaurs and missed the release of Pokémon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon by one day, resulted in a bad mood.

Suffice to say; my morning sucked.

''What's with the long face, young lady? Something wrong with the meat?'' asked Brogy.

''One, please don't call me a lady. Two nothing wrong with the meat. And three,'' I sighed a moment. ''I didn't sleep that well.''

I stared absentmindedly at my meat. ''It is just that I'm suddenly at a different place that always seemed a fantasy to me.'' I looked directly at Brogy. ''What if you happened to end up at a place you have never been before, where people and their values are much different from what you are used to and the technology is otherworldly?''

''I would just make the best of it,'' smiled Brogy.

''Guess you are right.'' I took another bite. ''So err, got any human-sized clothing or weapons?''

''Nope, except a few swords. Those are great toothpicks. Gabababa!''

Well, that is just great. No chances to get myself some clean underwear, nor anything to defend myself with. And if I stay too long on this island, I will die either as dinosaur lunch or the climate of this place gets me. My only hope for survival is by hitching a ride with the Straw Hat Pirates. But seeing the fact that they have to face a Warlord and his flunkies, I better make sure I can put up a decent fight.

''Something the matter?'' asked Brogy in-between two bites.

''Gotta pee,'' I grumbled.

''You can go over there,'' Brogy pointed out in the direction at the side of the cave.

-GWTF-

After answering nature's call, I headed back to the camp to see, unsurprisingly thanks to the audible footsteps, Dorry.

''Ready for a morning hunt, little human?'' boomed Dorry.

''Can I first get my stuff at your place?'' I asked.

''Sure,'' he answered.

I threw my jacket in the shopping cart and put my handbag on top of my jacket. I checked the pockets of my vest; pocket knife, mobile phone, hand sanitiser and a tin filled with Band-Aids.

''Okay, I'm ready,'' I said while I adjusted my Australian hat a bit.

Dorry lowered his shield-wielding hand and allowed me to stand there. He raised his hand at his shoulder with such a speed that the wind rushed through my hair.

''Hop on.'' He pointed at his shoulder.

With a wobbly jump I managed to get on Dorry's shoulder. My mouth fell unnaturally far open when my eyes glued themselves on the vast view from high above. It was no exaggeration to tell that I could see almost the whole island. I could see a herd of Apatosaurus grazing on the leaves from far away, an archaeopteryx making a nose-dive and the waves of the sea were sparkling in the morning sun. The thrill became even more intense when Dorry started to walk. The whole movement felt awkward to me as the high differences between steps felt like whole meters to me.

''Have fun,'' sounded Brogy's voice from seemingly far away. I was too flabbergasted by this whole new experience to even notice him.

I haven't even realised that Dorry picked up the shopping cart and was carefully carrying it to his own cave.

Okay, about the cave thing. I did call the places where both giants made a camp, but now I could actually made out a skeleton shape of the structures. Plants have begun to grow on the one-hundred year old Sea King remains, making them less looking like skeletons and more like mountains with caves.

''I will leave your metal thing over there,'' Dorry pointed to the entrance of his cave.

''S-sure,'' I nodded.

After leaving the shopping cart, which wasn't damaged a bit, we went into the jungle. Actually, Dorry's body was well above the treetops, so being above the jungle would be more applicable. Off course, Dorry was noticed immediately by the local wildlife. I had to grab Dorry's shoulder as he made a dash towards an unlucky T-rex. With a powerful blow of his sword, he beheaded the dinosaur.

I had watched a lot of nature documentations in my years. As a kid I was used to see a wildebeest getting ripped in pieces alive by lions on the telly. But seeing the blood splattering from the separated parts of a T-rex and the life disappear from its eyes was a harrowing experience.

''You okay there?'' wondered Dorry.

''Huh?'' I muttered bewildered.

''You were screaming. You got a loud voice for something tiny as you,'' responded Dorry.

''Sorry. I just never saw something get killed before. Not like this.'' I twiddled nervously with my thumps.

''Sounds like you had a sheltered life.''

''Yeah, I don't even know how to defend myself. Instead I have to survive by freeloading with you guys. I'm just like some insect that lives from your scraps. You give me food and a safe place and I have nothing to give in return.'' Great, I get myself in a negative thinking spiral.

''That isn't true,'' responded Dorry while heading back to his cave with the fresh meat. ''You shared the food you had. It was a little, but you shared. Also, you offer us company we didn't have in some time.''

I didn't really respond as I tried to calm myself down.

Dorry seemed to think about something, as his face suddenly brightened up.

''There is something you can do if you want to.''

-GWTF-

''So in short, you want me to recognise one or several barrels filled with booze in the mess that is this shipwreck?'' I still felt a bit down. But the fact I could actually do something to return the favour made me feel a bit better.

''And swords,'' added Dorry. ''The long ones are good toothpicks. You may keep everything else you find.''

 **BOOOOOOOM**

''Is that what I think it is?''

''Yes it is. The time has come again. Good luck.'' With these words Dorry left the coastline to seek out Brogy for another round of their never-ending duel.

Guess I'm on my own then. Luckily Dorry had put me on the deck. Said deck was an absolute mess. A huge sail was on the floor and there was rope everywhere. Wood was cracked and doors hung out of their hinges. Maybe some exploring could settle my mind a little bit. I have been through a lot of emotions, after all. Why am I such a mess anyway? Apart from the fact that I somehow have been universe-hopping.

''Off course. My meds.'' I slammed myself on my forehead. Thanks to a certain mental condition, I have been using medicine since I was around nine. This is probably the first time in years I'm without the stuff. My only comfort is the fact that this world is crazy enough to see my behaviour as normal. Well, at least that is something I hope.

Shaking literally the thoughts out of my mind, I try to focus again to the task at hand; finding barrels with booze. So I just went to the first entrance that caught my eye.

The inside of the ship was just as messy as the outside. Broken plates littered the floor. At some places were parts of chairs. A huge table lied down on its side. Above all, it is quiet. Too quiet.

''Purrpurupuru purupurupuru.''

''What the'' ''Purupurupuru.''

That was unmistakably a Den Den Mushi. I quickly follow the sound of the snail. Behind the fallen table was indeed a snail. It was a small one, a Baby Den Den Mushi. But those don't have a huge range. Does that mean there are people nearby? And how do I answer a call on that thing?

With a slightly shivering hand, I somehow managed to take the call.

''Allo! Allo! This is Nighthawk,'' I said in a faux-French accent to cheer myself a bit up. It was also for safety. Who knows there is a major villain on the other side of the line.

I didn't hear any response, but an eerie flash of green light lit up behind me.

I turned around to see a grey haired old man wearing a simple mauve shirt, jeans and nice sturdy boots. Over his shirt, he wore a belt with little packages attached to them, probably filled with gunpowder and bullets, as he wore two guns on the belt on his waist. In one of his hands, he held an active Baby Den Den Mushi. Said snail fell asleep and I heard both his snail and the one I was using making the ''gatcha'' sound that indicated an ended call.

I stared at the old guy. He didn't stare back. Instead he looked some sort of bored, or tired.

''Soooo. I guess the Grand Line weather wasn't that friendly to your ship?'' I asked awkwardly.

''I own nothing of this ship,'' he shrugged. ''Only this Den Den Mushi,'' he pointed at the snail on his shoulder. ''and this cup of hot chocolate.'' He pointed next to him, making a finger-gun gesture. Suddenly a circle appeared at the spot he pointed. A green glow emitted from it. He reached his hand into the glowing circle. Said hand didn't seem to emerge from the other side but somehow he pulled out a steaming red cup. He slowly took a sip from it.

''From what year are you?'' he asked suddenly.

''Huh? What do you mean? What year is it?'' I responded confused. Seriously, he just took a cup from nowhere.

''That series that you just referenced goes back further than the One Piece franchise,'' he continued calmly. ''However, you seem to know what a Den Den Mushi is. So in what year did you live before you got on this island?''

''You mean what I said through the phone?'' I totally missed the point. Whenever I got info dumped on me, I tend to forget a lot of it. ''There were reruns in the nineties. I watched them as a kid. Subbed as my English wasn't as good as it is now,'' I chattered. Goodness, I got nervous.

The old man just sighed. He really looked tired.

''How far in the manga are you?'' he asked while scratching his short grey beard.

''I don't remember the exact chapter, but a certain mother was going nuts on an island and Luffy got there while escaping a dude who's awkward secret had been found out.'' I scratched the back of my head. ''Weird to talk about future events in past tense.''

''The cake arc, second year,'' he nodded. ''So 2017.''

''You aren't asking who I am?'' I wondered.

''Sooner or later, I will find out.'' He took another sip from his cup. ''First you need to prove yourself.''

''Oi! What do you mean ''proving myself''?'' I snapped. ''I got here on an island with freaking dinosaurs, a climate that doesn't agree with me and less than a year to live as humans don't survive that long due to above reasons. What do you expect from me?''

''Proof that you are worthy of your place in the Golden Age of Piracy.'' He now looked right at me with piercing eyes. ''To be with the Pirate King.''

''What? Impossible. How do you think somebody like me can go all the way to Raftel? Besides, you seem to know that I'm not from this world. Can't you help me to get home and join the Straw Hats instead of me?''

''You aren't listening, are you? My generation had its time.'' He pointed at me. ''Now it is time for yours. And your current location is a good set-up to journey with them.''

I just stood there, gaping at him like an idiot. Okay, I admit I planned to go with the Straw Hats to escape this island. But that's it. To be honest I wanted to go home. I have a freaking job, danggit.

''O, and I tried bringing people back where they came from with my Portals,'' he added. ''It didn't end well.''

That scared me. Even with that portal, he failed the cross the border between universes?

''Anyway.'' He emptied his cup. ''I will tell you more if you prove yourself.'' He made a finger-gun gesture next to him. At once, a green portal appeared. He stepped inside it with one leg. ''Before I forget.'' He pointed at the snail in my hands. ''Take that one with you.'' A small smile appeared at his face. '' Who knows when the knobs start flashing.'' As he went further in the portal, I heard something that sounded almost like Latin. '' Ire cum fluunt.''

One last green flash indicated he was gone. I looked at the now empty spot. I looked at the floor. I looked at the snail in my hand. ''Guess it's you and me then.'' I sighed.

''So you are a Den Den Mushi huh? I never thought I would have one myself.'' The snail made an eye roll. ''What about a name for you? I don't like to refer to you as an thing. Seeing the fact that snail are hermaphrodites, I think you should get a name that is both feminine and masculine.'' I started to think. ''Cedar?'' I suggested.

The snail shook its eyestalks.

''Kit''?

Another shake.

''Lesley?''

Now it stuck out its tongue.

''Hayden?''

The snail slowly nodded.

''Okay Hayden.'' I smiled at them. ''Welcome in my overturned life.'' Hayden seemingly fell asleep as I put them in my shoulder.

-GWTF-

I had no idea how long it took. But I finally found some barrels that weren't ruined. I looked pleased at the results of my search. Other than barrels, I also found clothes, weapons, money and a small wooden box with a thick padlock on it.

The loose Beli coins were immediately stuffed in my pockets upon discovery.

The found clothing consisted of some T-shirts, a leather brown vest that had even more pockets than my current fluffy pink vest, jeans that are slightly to big and, Goda-be-praised, underwear. The clothing was clearly for guys, but I was happy with my haul. This means I can actually wash and wear something clean.

Most of the weapons I found were damaged, so I didn't bother taking it with me. Except for the swords. Giants need toothpicks after all. In the end I got for myself a dagger, some shorter knives and a whip.

Looking at all the stuff I got, I realised I could pull of an attempt at an Indiana Jones cosplay.

Whelp. Time to stop overthinking and start actually doing something. I had no idea when the Straw Hats arrive, so I better prepare myself for the future.

Remembering the words of the mysterious portal guy and my big friends, I decide to make out the best of my current situation. Even if I fail and die, I can't say I haven't tried.

AN: This chapter took longer than I thought. At least its longer than the first one. No Straw Hats yet, but they will appear in the next chapter.

Why did Alexandra missed the release of Pokémon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon? The day the first chapter was posted was one day before the release. That also means that she doesn't know manga chapters and anime episodes that are released after that date.

But wait. There is more.

The review corner has now been opened. *does a happy dance*

Reviews:

gamelover41592: Thank you so much for saying that this could work ^^. Welcome on the ride.


	3. Badly-timed explosions

AN: Pirates, princesses and ducks; we have finally reached canon events. *throws confetti* There will be some slight changes in the plot though.

Slight warning; use of the F-word.

 **3\. Badly-timed explosions**

If it weren't for my smartphone, I would have lost the track of time long ago. Thankfully I got a charger with solar panels. Otherwise the battery had run dry after three days. So I happened to know that I had lived on Little Garden now a few weeks. That time has been used for a lot of training. The scrapes and bruises were proof of that. Using a whip was harder than I thought. If I'm not careful, I could cripple someone with it, including myself. But somehow the hard work paid of, as I was now actually able to hunt on my own with using my weapons, wits and other skills.

Yet it wasn't enough to ''proof myself'', as Hayden the Den Den Mushi never indicated an incoming call.

I sighed as I removed another shirt from a sloppily made cloth line. I hate doing laundry, even more than doing dishes, as I tend to overthink my situation during the chore. I like training much more as there is no room for long thoughts during fights and hunts in the jungle. I never thought I would be capable to kill animals for food, but the will to survive changed that.

Running and jumping was also something I became good at. With the limited knowledge I got from the manga and anime, I tried to teach myself Soru and Geppo. While I haven't mastered them, I was capable of making short bursts of speed while running. Not at Soru speed, but still faster than normal. Learning Geppo was actually pretty funny. As a kid I thought I could kinda fly if I jumped hard enough on the air while jumping from the ground. And let Geppo be based on that specific principle. Thanks to anime-physics, the theory I made as a child was actually working. I could only do about two, maybe three air jumps though, which isn't enough to call myself a master. But I'm often practicing both techniques.

I headed back to Dorry's place with clean underwear, a bra and folded T-shirts tucked underneath my arm, as I hear familiar laughter.

''Gegyagyagyagya!''

Yep, that's Dorry all right.

''Shishishishi!''

I almost dropped my load as I recognised that voice. It was strange to hear a voice that you have heard many times on the anime, only to hear it now for real. I quickly ran to the direction of the laughter. But I also began to worry. If I arrived here with some fresh meat, I would make a great impression. But instead I carry underwear. Well, at least it is clean.

As soon as I arrived, I saw a boy wearing a red vest and an iconic straw hat sitting on a bunch of meat, talking with Dorry. Not far away, I saw a girl with blue hair in a long ponytail and a duck that is big enough to be mounted by humans. It was sipping a drink through a straw and wore an adorable hat.

''And to this day, another man and I have used this island as our duelling ground,'' explained Dorry to his visitors.

I decided to bring my stuff into the cave first, as Dorry was in exposition mode. Somehow, I didn't get even noticed. As I was getting outside the cave, I heard the girl talk to Dorry. I silently shook my head while her question was answered by boisterous laughter.

''You could die, right?'' she continued.

''For a warrior like him,'' I pointed at Dorry as I exited the cave. ''is no greater honour than to fall in battle.''

The girl looked bewildered at me, while I was cutting of a few pieces of meat with my dagger.

''The culture of the giants of Elbaf is pretty much like that,'' I explained as I threw a piece of meat toward the boy with the hat. ''You want one too?'' I offered to the girl.

''Who are you?'' she asked.

''Me?'' I grinned. ''I'm Catherina Amalia Beatrix Carmen Victoria Alexandra.''

Three baffled faces looked at me. Man, I always wanted to make that joke. I never thought that some fictional characters would be on the receiving end though.

''That is a long name,'' said the boy.

''Nah, I'm kidding,'' I said with a grin. ''It's Alexandra.''

''Still long,'' he concluded. ''By the way, I'm Luffy.'' He pointed at Vivi and the big duck. ''And those guys are Vivi and Carue.''

''Nice to meet you.'' I gave a slight courtesy bow to Vivi and Carue and made a piece-sign in Luffy's direction.

 **BOOOOOOOM**

''Wow!'' said Luffy amazed. ''That's a HUGE explosion.''

''Time to go,'' said Dorry as he rose.

''Go?'' wondered Luffy.

''I forgot when we decided,'' explains Dorry as he grabs his sword and shield. ''The eruption of the mountain in the middle signals the start of our battle.''

''But that's…!'' sounded Vivi horrified. ''To hate someone so much that you could fight to the death for 100 years! What reason could you possibly be fighting about!?

''Don't interrupt,'' interrupted Luffy. ''Sandra already said it.''

Huh, Sandra? I've never been called that.

''Exactly,'' responded Dorry. ''It's about HONOUR!''

He then began the charge at Brogy.

''THE REASON!?'' Dorry shouted mid-charge.

Sword clashed on shield. Axe got blocked by shield.

''I FORGOT YEARS AGO!''

The familiar feeling of the shockwave fell over me. In the corner of my eye, I saw Luffy falling on his back with an amazed look on his face.

''W-What's wrong?'' stammered Vivi.

''Incredible,'' sighed Luffy. ''They're so HUGE!''

''That's what I said when I experienced this the first time too,'' I chuckled.

The rest of the battle was pretty much Vivi shielding herself against the shockwaves while standing, Carue crouched on the ground and covering his face with his wings, Luffy sitting on the fern covered ground and being amazed and me keeping attention on the moves. I was also slowly eating the piece of meat in my hand. It's actually a pretty badass substitute for popcorn.

Bashing their shields in each other faces, they both fell. The calls of the animals seemed so much louder as the sounds of the battle disappeared.

''And that's another tie,'' I concluded. 'I'm glad, it is. I like both of them.'' The adrenaline of watching the battle seemed to dissipate. ''I also got to pee.'' And I left the visitors on their own.

-GWTF-

When I returned, I saw Dorry sitting on his rock with three barrels in his hand.

''So then, the little midgets over there are your nakama?'' asked Dorry his visitors. ''There's a guy with a long nose and a woman.''

''Usopp and Nami!'' exclaimed Luffy. ''What's with that? They said they didn't want to get off the ship! Looks like they wanted an adventure after all!''

My heart started to beat a bit faster. Their ship, the Going Merry. That would be my ticket to get out of this place.

''By the way, Dorry-san, Alexandra-san'' asked Vivi. ''Does it really take a whole year for the Log to set?''

''You guy didn't notice those puny bones over there?'' Said Dorry as I began to walk into the back of the cave. I rummaged through a bunch of stuff until I was satisfied with what I found.

''It seems that spending a year on this island is too much for humans,'' I heard Dorry say as I returned with something in my hand.

''Alas, poor Yorick,'' I said theatrical while holding a skull in front of me. ''I knew him,'' I already thought my sense of humour was twisted, and the Grand Line seemed to have made it worse. There goes my plans of keeping myself sane. At least I got a laugh from Luffy.

''How can you joke about this?'' shrieked Vivi.

''Coping mechanism,'' I deadpanned.

''What now?'' Vivi began to sound distressed. ''Even if I can survive here for a year, who knows what will happen to my country in that time?'' She tried to prevent herself from crying. Crap, I always feel bad when people are crying.

''You're right about that,'' responded Luffy while gazing upon the sky. ''A year is way too long. Don't you know a better way?''

''Hrrm.'' Dorry put down the barrels on the ground. ''There is a single Eternal Pose here. But it points to our home, Elbaf. The winner of our battle will claim that Eternal Pose.'' He looked at Luffy. How about it? Do you want to try take it from us?''

''That's no good,'' pouted Luffy. ''We don't want to go there. All we want to do is go to the next island.'' He looked at Vivi. ''Right?''

''Yes,'' sighed Vivi. ''If we lose our way to Alabasta, there will be no reason to continue.''

''Well then, why not set out and try to find the right way by yourselves? If luck is with you, you will make it.''

Luffy stared at Dorry.

Dorry looked back.

Suddenly, Luffy started to laugh loudly. ''You could be right! We just might make it!'' He slammed his knee while laughing.

''Gegyagyagyagya! That reminds me, a long time ago some guy left before his Log had set.''

''And what happened to him?'' asked Luffy with a giggle.

''How the hell should I know?''

''He must have made it to the next island!''

''Of course!''

They both start to laugh again and this time I joined in as well.

''Man,'' I laughed. ''I should try that out too if I want to stay alive. This island can kill me anytime. I could have an accident at sea, but at least I had an adventure.'' Would Luffy get the hint? I mentally apologised to the giants. I have been with them for quite a time, but this would be my only chance to get off this island before I would catch an ancient disease.

''What do you mean?'' asked Luffy.

''Like Dorry said, humans don't survive that long here,'' I admitted. ''And I would love to see the sights in the world. Both Dorry and Brogy told me stories about their adventures.''

''But how did you get here in the first place?'' wondered Luffy.

Crap, I wasn't planning on telling that I'm from a different universe. I did tell some bits to the giants and they didn't seem to mind, but I felt pretty uncomfortable when I told them. On the other hand, I do have to tell them sometime.

I looked nervously at Dorry for assurance. He aimed a grin at me; ''It's your choice to tell, Alexandra.''

I gulped. ''Well, err. How should I say this?'' I scratched the back of my head.

''Are you telling or not?'' asked Luffy.

Great, thanks for putting me under pressure.

''I'mahumanfromadifferentuniversewhosuddenlygotherewithoutexplanationanddoesn'tknowhowtogethome.'' I blabbed.

''Ehh?'' Luffy tilted his head quizzically.

'What are you saying, Alexandra-san?'' asked Vivi.

''That's it,'' I said. ''To be continued.''

''You sound weird.'' concluded Luffy.

I nodded. ''I AM weird.''

''That's so cool!'' His eyes somehow got stars in them. ''Can you shoot lasers and stuff?''

''Err, what?'' I sweatdropped. ''To be honest, I'm a pretty average human being.'' I pointed at my forehead with my index finger. ''It's my mind that's weird.''

''Meh, I hoped to see something awesome.'' Luffy sounded disappointed. ''But anyway, let's have a feast,'' he raised a piece of meat. ''For meeting Giant-ossan and weird person Sandra!''

''How can you decide that?'' asked Vivi.

''I'm the captain,'' Luffy stated. ''And the man who will be the Pirate King.''

Bam! There it is, the legendary words.

Dorry almost chocked on his booze as he tried to drink and laugh at the same time.

And me? Well I was blinking as I thought that I just saw a shadow behind Luffy. One with a D-shaped grin.

-GWTF-

So we had a meat party, if you can even call it that. Basically it was Dorry and Luffy eating and laughing while I tried to cheer up Vivi. Emphasis on tried, as I'm not good in consoling people. So I tried to distract her by bombarding her with questions about Carue. Said duck began to blush (how does a duck blush) as I kept him calling cool and cute.

Of course, all good things come to an end. This time, it was even with a bang. From Dorry's mouth it is. Smoke emitting, he fell on his back.

''Fuck, Dorry!'' I shouted. How could I have forgotten that his would happen? Was I thinking too much about befriending the Straw Hats to save my own hide? I'm a horrible friend.

''Giant-ossan!'' shouted Luffy. He immediately jumped towards Dorry. ''Why did the beer explode? The beer was from our ship, wasn't it?

''It exploded from inside his stomach,'' realised Vivi. ''Did the other giant set this up?''

''Oi!'' I shouted. ''Brogy would never do that!''

''YOU! WEREN'T YOU WATCHING!?'' added Luffy angry. ''They have fought for 100 years, and you think they would do something like this!?

''Then who could have possibly…!?'' wondered Vivi.

Both she and Luffy didn't notice Dorry rising on his feet with support from his sword.

''It was _you_ … ''

Unholy fuck! I had never seen Dorry this angry. Even while his anger wasn't aimed at me, I had to prevent my bowels from dumping everything in my pants.

''It wasn't Brogy,'' he panted. ''We are honourable Warriors of Elbaf. The only suspects are… you two.''

''We have to escape!'' Shrieked Vivi. ''He won't listen to anything we say!''

''Running won't work.'' Luffy spoke calmly, but I could hear suppressed anger in his voice. He handed over his straw hat to Vivi. ''Take this and hide.''

''You can't mean… You are going to fight him?'' asked Vivi while she took Luffy's hat.

Dorry was gasping for breath as Luffy crunched his knuckles.

''Sorry about this, Ossan. But I'm going to have you shut up for a bit.''

I watched in horror as I saw Dorry and Luffy getting ready for battle.

''Guys, please don't do this!'' I yelled. ''There must be a third party being involved!''

''Dorry-san!'' shouted Vivi. ''We truly don't know anything about why the beer exploded! Please don't be rash!

Our pleas weren't reaching Dorry though, as he was trying to focus on his target. Ready to make Luffy feel a world of pain. It actually reminds me of the time I had temper tantrums at primary school. I often got bullied, and I retaliated aggressively. Because of that, I often got in trouble with my teachers. And those annoying kids seemed to think it was funny, so they would do it again later.

Seeing Dorry like this ISN'T funny. It is outright terrifying.

The last thing I want is was getting hit in the crossfire. So I decided to get Vivi to a slightly more safe place then she is now.

''Hide your ass, this shit is dangerous,'' I growled as I pushed Vivi inside the cave.

''W-what are you doing?'' she stammered.

''Preventing you from being stepped on.''

I bought her to my sleeping corner. Like in Brogy's cave, the ceiling was lower and the walls were closer to each other. So it was safe to sleep without getting accidently crushed by a sleeping giant. ''Listen very carefully, I only say this once.'' I looked with a serious face at Vivi. ''Whatever the fuck happens, DON'T get out. Dorry can hardly attack you here,'' _unless he starts poking with his sword._ I added mentally. ''Even if things quiet down, YOU will stay here. There could be more explosions.''

''Are you joking? I have to do something!'' she cried.

''I'm fucking serious. I know I make stupid jokes sometimes and sorry for that skull joke back there.'' I scratched the back of my head. ''But don't you have a country to save?''

Vivi's eyes got wide when she heard that.

''Just stay here, okay. I will get you out when it is safe outside.'' I took out a small book from my handbag. ''Here, read something to keep yourself occupied.'' I handed her over the book, while I took Luffy's hat from her hands. ''I will give that back to the rightful owner.'' With these words, I left Vivi in the cave.

I got mixed feelings as I saw Dorry face-first on the ground with a battered and stepped on Luffy catching his breath. Relief, as both Luffy and Dorry are alive. Anger, aimed at the ones who are responsible for this. And disappointment, as I could have prevented this from happening.

''You okay, Luffy?'' I asked.

''Ossan…?''

''He's alive.'' I handed Luffy his hat. ''Shit like this won't kill him,'' I said with a slight pride in my voice.

''I'm pissed,'' stated Luffy as he put on his hat. ''That beer… Just like he said… The other Giant didn't do it. And there is no way in hell any one of my nakama would ever do something like this.''

I sighed. Why did this mess happen on laundry day? Any other day, I could have found hideouts during my hunts. But on laundry day, I only wash clothing and guard it while it is hanging to dry. My underwear was stolen once by a Pterodactyl. I didn't want that to happen again.

''Someone else is here,'' continued Luffy. ''On this island.''

I nodded slowly as I observed Dorry's breathing. There wasn't much else I could do for him. I clenched my fist. I could have prevented this. I could have done something.

''Sorry for beating up your dad,'' apologised Luffy.

''I-I understand,'' I stammered. ''Wait. Did you just call him my father? We aren't related.''

''That doesn't matter.''

I never realised that Dorry acted like a parent to me. The same could be said about Brogy. It takes Luffy to see something like that. But wait. That means I'm basically adopted by two giant guys who try to kill each other on a daily basis on an island teeming with dinosaurs.

What happened to my life?

 **BOOOOOOOM**

Of course, Murphy decided to be a dick as the middle volcano, or Earth Pimple as I call it, erupted with a loud bang.

''Why now?'' I muttered.

The ground was shaking and the volcano was making even more noise than normal. It was almost like it was taunting Dorry.

He regained consciousness and was trying to get up. He was gasping for breath, dried blood was on his mouth and he generally looked like a mess.

''Oi! Wait, Ossan!'' shouted Luffy. ''You are going?''

''Dorry! I will tell Brogy that someone interfered with the duel! So please sit this one out!'' I pleaded.

''I am the Warrior Dorry!'' wheezed the giant. ''And I will,-'' he coughed up blood. ''-battle in the Name of Elbaf!''

I fell on my wobbling knees. There was no way I could stop him. His conviction was too great.

''D-Dorry,'' I muttered.

I started to feel numb as tears were coming from my eyes. They are going to kill each other and there was nothing I could do.

''Whoa! He unearthed that huge rock!''

Rock? O crap! Vivi is inside!

Before I could say something, the rock was put down on the ground, with Luffy in between it.

''Oi! What is the big idea, Ossan!?'' yelled Luffy as his head and arms were sticking out. ''Get this rock off me! Oi! Ossan! Oi!''

''I can't stop now,'' growled Dorry. ''This may have been a 100 year-old story… But once the battle has begun… running away from it means… to run away from the name of a Warrior.'' He managed to grab his sword. ''And if I'm no longer a Warrior, then I am no longer myself. I'm sorry for doubting you visitors. The God of War… Elbaf has passed his judgement! I've lost his favour. That is all.''

Dorry walked away, leaving Luffy under the rock and me in tears.

Gods! Favour! Having it or losing it! That's got nothing to do with this!'' yelled Luffy. ''Are you just going to die because your God say so!? Your duel was sabotaged! A sabotaged duel isn't a duel! You know I'm right!''

''Silence…!'' growled Dorry as he stopped walking. His shoulder were shaking. ''How could you impudent humans who have lived but 10 or 20 years hear the Divine Words of Elbaf?'' he continued walking.

''Who cares about that?'' yelled Luffy as he tried to slam the rock with his fists flailing around. ''Oi, get this off me! Oi, Ossan! Giant-ossan! Oi! Ossan! Come back here, you jerk! I won't let you go like that!''

Dorry is walking to his death, Luffy got stuck and Vivi was probably crushed. And I could have prevented it. Tears and snot were flowing over my face.

''Oi, are you done crying? Are you going to do nothing at all?'' yelled Luffy at me.

''I can't stop them, they are too strong,'' I cried.

''At least get this rock off me!''

I would never be able to lift a rock like that, but there is something else I could do. I grabbed my two small knives ''Hokey'' and ''Pokey'' from the holster at my left hip and walked towards Luffy. I knelt down and started digging in the ground with my knives.

''Vivi, where have you been?'' asked Luffy.

I turn my head as I saw Vivi walking towards us.

''I'm so sorry,'' I apologised to her. ''I didn't expected Dorry to move the rock.''

I suddenly heard a scream that was getting lauder. A guy with a long nose, shouting Luffy's name, crashed face err nose-first into a rock. And I thought my first impression was bad. The guy quickly recovered and ran towards us.

''Emergency!'' he shrieked. ''Nami got eaten by a dinosaur!''

''REALY!?'' screamed Luffy.

''We ran into the jungle together to escape from a dinosaur when all of a sudden she was gone!'' he clutched his head in desperation. ''What have I done!? I let our nakama die!''

Both he and Luffy were in a state of shock as Vivi tried to snap them out of it. ''W-wait, now. Calm down! YOU GUYS!''

With a ''huh'' they turned to Vivi.

''You said she just suddenly disappeared… So you didn't actually _see_ what happened to her, right?''

''MORON!'' yelled the nose-guy. ''HOW COULD I HAVE SEEN WHAT HAPPENED!? I WAS TOO SCARED! IF NOT A DINOSAUR, THEN IT WAS SOME OTHER WILD BEAST! WHAT ELSE COULD IT HAVE BEEN!?''

''I'm not certain, but Baroque Works may have followed us to this island. And between the two of you, Nami-san was the only one being targeted.''

Another scream was emitted from the nose. ''Baroque Works is HERE on THIS ISLAND!?''

''Okay. Time out!'' I raised my hands. ''Targeted? Baroque Works? I suppose you owe me a little explanation.'' I do know what is going on, but I wasn't planning to tell them about my knowledge. Not yet.

''Who the hell are you?'' yelled realboy!Pinocchio at me.

''Who the fuck are you?'' I reacted.

''Asked you first.''

''Asked you second.''

''Alexandra-san, this isn't the time,'' said Vivi. ''Baroque Works is an enemy of ours, and they are probably responsible for what happened with the beer.''

''Beer?'' wondered the tengu. ''What about the beer?''

''Brogy gave some of your beer to Dorry,'' explained Vivi. ''But when Dorry drank it, the beer exploded in his stomach.''

''WHAT?!'' gasped the owner of a phallic nose. ''The beer exploded in his stomach!?'' he turned his face in the direction of the duelling giants. ''And he went to the duel in that condition!?''

''I tried to stop him,'' said Luffy. ''But he put this damn rock on me!''

''No way!'' shouted pencil-nose. ''For a hundred years, those two have been fighting evenly at full strength! Their battle must be the most honourable battle in the world! How dare someone mess with their fight!''

We were all clenching our teeth in response. But then, we saw a huge splatter of blood emerge above the threes. Everything seemed to come to a standstill as the splatter fell down in the jungle.

I held my hand in front of my mouth as I whispered; ''No…''

''WHO WAS IT!?'' screamed Luffy. He was struggling so hard that his hat fell on the ground. ''SHOW YOURSELF!''

''Okay, Luffy!'' said the guy with goggles. ''I dunno who they are, but I'll go take them out myself!''

''I'm coming too,'' responded Vivi.

''Me too,'' I growled as I took my dagger ''Slasher'' out of the sheath that was attached horizontally at my backside on my belt. ''They will pay for this.''

''Yeah! It'd be great if you two came too!'' said the guy who's legs were shaking. ''I'll feel safer!''

''That won't be necessary!'' I heard somebody say.

The owner of the voice was wearing a long coat, sunglasses and held a unconscious Carue under his left arm. I didn't even focus on the woman next to him with the parasol and lemon earrings, as I already charged at the guy. Fighting Velociraptors teached me to react and move fast. And upon seeing this guy, who I know is Mr. 5 who planted the bomb in the beer, something just snapped.

He and the woman stepped away as I attacked his right side by dashing past him, but I still managed to draw blood. However, he proved to be less fragile than a Velociraptor by turning around quickly and delivering an exploding punch in my back. I gasped in pain as I fell forwards.

''T-that proves it.'' I was trying to ignore the pain as I wobbly rose up. ''You planted the bomb in the booze.'' I coughed. Was that red stuff always on the ground there? ''It was _you_ …''

''Shut up,'' the explosive man said as he casually kicked me in the face. That moment my world was only pain and noise. And then everything went black.

-GWTF-

''…ra.''

Huh, a voice?

''…ndRA!''

Who is it? Who is it calling?

''SANDRA!''

My eyes shot open as I realised who was calling me.

''L-luffy?'' I asked with a creak in my voice.

''Are you going to let them walk away with this?'' he asked me.

''No fucking way,'' I growled.

Luffy started to speak to all of us. ''Ussop!'' A weak voice creaked in confirmation. ''Duck!'' Carue quacked furiously. ''Sandra!'' ''Aye!'' I shouted. ''We are going to kick their ass!''

-GWTF-

A rubber man, a consummate lair, a big duck and a universal traveller ran through a jungle filled with dinosaurs at high speed. This is not the build-up for a joke, but for a battle to protect those who are dear to them.

The only thing was, we were running so fast with our out-of-control battle cries, that we totally ran from one site of the clearing to the other. We crashed into the treeline, but we were pissed enough to not feel a thing. Instead we turned around to face our enemies.

And there was that, _thing_. If I were to describe it, I would say it was a cake with three layers, with on top of those layers a pillar. Turning around on the pillar was some sort of pumpkin-shaped thing with a flat top. On that top were burning candles. Wax was raining down on three people who are stuck on the base layer of the cake.

It was ridiculous.

It was deadly.

Typical One Piece.

''Let's do it, Usopp!'' shouted Luffy.

''RIGHT!'' responded Usopp with a fist pump.

''Bird!''

Carue gave a furious quack.

''Sandra!''

''Aye Sir!'' I yelled while grabbing my whip ''Indy'' that was attached at my right hip on my belt.

''Luffy! Usopp!'' shouted a red-haired girl who was partly covered in wax.

''Carue!'' shouted Vivi who was covered in wax too.

''Brogy!'' I yelled. ''Allow me to punish those who besmirched your honour!''

''Master Brogy!'' shouted Usopp. ''We're here to avenge your suffering!''

''Alexandra…'' called Brogy weakened. ''Usopp…''

''Just beat this guys in a bloody pulp 'till they're full with holes, then send them flying! '' declared the red-haired girl.

''Yeah. That's what I plan on doing!'' confirmed Luffy while cracking his knuckles. ''They ruined the Giant-ossans' duel!''

''Oh, it's _you_?'' said an annoying voice. ''The man with the highest bounty in East Blue? The Marine Headquarters seems to have lowered its standards.''

''Whoa! You've got a weird head!'' pointed a surprised Luffy out.

I snorted.

''That's none of your business!'' complained the owner of the weird head.

''It's a 3! A 3 and it's on FIRE!'' continued Luffy.

''SHUT UP!''

''Before that, Luffy destroy this pillar!'' advised the red-head. Or was the hair more like orange? ''We're about to become wax figures!''

''What? Were you in trouble?'' wondered Luffy?

''Nah, no big deal,'' said a green-haired guy who posed with a sword held up in the air. He was also covered in wax.

''Wait a minute, your legs!'' observed the girl with short orange hair.

''Oh, I only got through them about halfway,'' he admitted with a chuckle. Even from a distance, I saw the wax base where he stood getting a red colour.

''How is that ''no big deal''!? shrieked the girl.

''Anyway, Luffy,'' continued the guy like he talked about the weather. ''Mind destroying this pillar first? I'll leave the rest up to you.''

''Gotcha,'' said Luffy.

''I don't think so,'' said the annoying sounding man with his hair on fire.

''Whatever that thing is,'' said Luffy while gazing at the unholy fusion of a birthday cake and a jack-o-lantern. ''Destroy that first.''

''Okay,'' confirmed Usopp who mounted Carue. ''I got it. I'm a different man today!''

Meanwhile, the possible future additions for Madame Tussauds were discussing poses and limp- cutting of all things.

''Mr. 3,'' a girl with a hat and pigtails pointed at the half-waxed people. ''those people seem very relaxed.''

''And you are the same, Miss Goldenweek!'' shouted Mr. 3 while Goldenweek was sitting on a picnic-rug, eating a rice-cracker.

Mr. 3 didn't seem to be amused by the situation and turned to face Luffy.

Said Luffy was getting pumped up to slam some faces.

''Mr.3,'' said the explosive guy. ''Let _us_ finish him.'' My face hurts by looking at him. That asshole did give me a kick on the chin, after all.

''''Finish him.''?'' scoffed Mr. 3. ''You must be joking. Just look at him. Your attacks have no effect. Thus he stands before us, alive. This man obviously cannot be handled by someone of your level.'' He was getting in some sort of attack pose. ''You two deal with the others. I will add Straw Hat Luffy to my wax figure collection, personally.''

I shuddered. That guy reminds me of a horror movie. And what's with all the talking?

''Don't you creeps ever shut up?'' lampshaded Usopp. ''You jerks have gone too far! Give up while you still can!''

''Small fry,'' derided Mr. 3. Some white fluid hanged in a drip from his hand.

''Let's do it!'' shouted Usopp. But instead of forwards, Carue ran backwards. The two of them hid behind some trees.

''Okay! Preparations are complete! I've got you covered, Luffy, Alexandra!''

''You say something?'' wondered Luffy.

''Gotta pee,'' I muttered while sweatdropping. And I dashed backwards until I was next to Usopp and Carue.

Call me a coward, but at least I didn't have my feet stuck in a bunch of wax like Luffy got during my ''tactical retreat''.

''What the hell is that?!'' shrieked Usopp.

''Wax,'' I explained. ''That topknot-guy is a Candle Human.''

''How do you know that?'' wondered Usopp.

''I saw it.'' I didn't lie, I just didn't say when I saw it. As in years ago in an anime.

''And why are you hiding too?'' questioned Usopp. ''Don't you fight dinosaurs or something?''

''So you admit that you are hiding,'' I teased. ''And those guys are freaking Devil Fruit Users. I never fought something like that before, its different!''

''So you do fight dinosaurs!?'' Usopp's jaw hung low.

Back at the battle, Luffy was proving that everything is better with spinning, as he spun around while holding one of the horns on Brogy's helmet.

When he gained enough speed, he slammed with the wax on his feet into the pillar. The pillar cracked in two pieces, but the pumpkin thing landed right on the top layer of the ''cake''.

''You've got to be kidding me,'' I groaned as the pumpkin started to turn around, spreading wax vapours again.

And there was Mr.3 with his obnoxious laughter and gloating.

''That jerk!'' growled Usopp. ''Just toying with people however he likes!''

''Oi, you guys are turning into wax sculptures?!'' wondered Luffy.

''That's what we have been telling you!'' shouted the orange-haired girl.

''Please hurry and break this thing, Luffy-san!'' pleaded Vivi.

''Okay gotcha!''

''I told you not to interfere!'' shouted Mr. 3. He was getting ready to throw wax again. ''Doru Doru Arts Mori!'' and threw a freaking harpoon!

''Kayakuboshi!'' Usopp fired a bunch of gunpowder at Mr.3 to stop his attack. But alas, Mr. 5 jumped in the fray and caught it with his mouth. He swallowed the whole thing with a loud gulp.

''A rather bitter taste,'' admitted Mr. 3 after licking his lips. ''You must been using some cheap gunpowder.''

''He ate my Kayakuboshi…'' observed a shocked Usopp.

Carue made a scared quack.

''This looks bad,'' I mumbled.

Well, after avoiding the wax harpoon, Luffy started to prepare a Gomu Gomu no Bazooka. But Mr. 3 blocked the attack with a wall made of wax.

''Oi, don't get in my way!'' shouted Luffy at Mr. 3.

''I believe that's my line,'' said Mr. 3 smugly. ''I must insist that you refrain from interfering with my art. CANDLE LOCK!'' and he managed to get his wax on Luffy. However, this time the hammer shaped wax was on Luffy's right hand.

''I've got a hammer!'' pointed Luffy playfully out. He immediately launched a Gomu Gomu no Tonkachi that got barely stopped by another Candle Wall. Barely as in, due to the added hammer, Luffy's fist reached Mr. 3 his face. The Candle Man got punched meters far away.

''Go Luffy Go!'' I cheered as Usopp and Carue did a victory dance.

''Luffy! Hurry and break this thing while you have the chance!'' shouted the orange-haired girl.

''No,'' said Luffy as he stood still on the spot.

Crap, Goldenweek stopped being lazy and was probably using her paint skills.

''Colours Trap,'' announced said painter.

''Oi Luffy!'' I shouted. I didn't want to drag the whole Betrayal Black thing out. ''Whatever you do, don't get of the spot with the black paint on it.''

''What the hell are you talking about?'' yelled Usopp as he dope-slapped me on my shoulder.

''I don't wanna,'' I heard Luffy say as he stepped away from the paint. ''Huh, that felt weird.''

''Clever girl.''

Crap! When did the Boogerman and Lemongirl approach us?

''Tactical retreat!'' I announced. On cue, Usopp and Carue dashed off. I made sure to run off in another direction.

I hoped that Boogerman would chase me, as I remembered some traps that I made with help of Brogy. He didn't like the idea at first, but I managed to convince him by telling that the food won't escape as I try to learn how to finish off prey.

As I ran, I recognised some markings on the trees. I smirked as I used my whip Indy as a grappling hook to get on the tree branches. I crossed a few meters over the branches before I jumped back on the ground. I put back Indy on my belt, and reached for my dagger Slasher. Then I waited for a moment to see who was going after me.

''Kyahahaha!'' laughed Lemongirl. ''Are you giving up now?''

This changes my whole plan.

''Actually, you should give up.''

''And why would you think that?''

''Simple. You are in unknown terrain. On your own. Against me.''

''Kyahahaha, nothing will be left of that terrain.''

Lemongirl jumped in the air and made herself lighter to get even higher. But due to a lack of explosions, she didn't get that high. Instead, she got tangled in the tree branches.

''Really?'' I sweatdropped.

''10.000 Kilo Press!'' she shouted as she got loose and dropped down.

I quickly evaded her attack, which is a good thing as she left a flipping crater in the ground.

''Is that all you can do?'' I taunted while making sure I was at a certain spot.

Lemongirl looked pissed off as she tried to do her trick again.

And again I avoided her. But this time the impact seemed to have created a hole. A pretty deep hole.

As fast as I could, I cut off a rope that was attached to a nearby tree. A hidden net that was weighted with stones to complicate escape fell down in the hole.

I love the classic pitfall trap.

-GWTF-

I left Lemongirl on her own in the narrow pit and went off to look for Usopp and Carue. By a stroke of luck, I found them.

''Yo.'' I waved at them. ''Still getting followed by Boogerman?''

''I think he lost us,'' panted Usopp.

''Good riddance. We need to prepare a battle plan,'' I said.

Usopp and Carue nodded.

As you know, that topknot-guy is using wax. And you know what wax does when it is hot?''

''It melts,'' realised Usopp as he made a palm-fist tap. Somehow I could hear a ''Bop'' sound as he did that. ''So, do we have to set everything on fire?''

''Exactly,'' I confirmed. ''That would be crazy enough to work.''

''Leave it to the mighty Usopp,'' he boasted. ''Can you distract them?'' he asked quietly.

''I could try to call a bunch of Velociraptors, but they don't always listen to me.'' I shook my head. ''There is another tactic I could use, but I don't think we have enough time to…''

''Ah,'' interrupted Usopp.

''Ah?''

Usopp pointed at something behind me. Both he and Carue were sweating bullets.

''Let me guess. The is a dinosaur right behind me,'' I said with a flat voice.

Usopp and Carue nodded nervously.

''Is it big?''

Nod.

''Standing on two big feet?''

Nod.

''Small arms?''

Nod.

''Slightly feathered?''

Nod

''Huge mouth with sharp teeth?''

Nod.

''Scar on the tip of the nose?''

…

…

Nod.

I began to sport a maniacal grin. ''Excellent.''

''H-h-how is that e-e-excellent?'' The poor guys were shaking like crazy.

I turned around to see a dinosaur that fitted the description.

Said dinosaur gave a low growl.

''Rexie, down,'' I commanded.

The T-rex lowered his head, allowing me to pet him. ''Good boy.''

''How the hell did you tame that monster?'' shrieked Usopp.

''It was about three weeks ago…'' I shook my head. There is no time for that. Instead I mounted Rexie.

''Usopp,'' I announced. ''You just got yourself a distraction. Ride on, pawtner!''

''This is crazy,'' muttered Usopp as we rode to the clearing. Carue quacked in agreement.

''Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it,'' I quoted. ''Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it's unbelievable.''

''Who told you that?'' wondered Usopp.

''A character in a children's book,'' I answered.

''You've read weird things.''

We've already appeared at the side of the clearing. To make sure Rexie doesn't get revealed to early, I was behind Usopp. Thanks to that, I had no idea what was going on.

''Status?'' I inquired.

Usopp gasped. ''Everyone is completely covered in wax!'' He shivered. ''And Luffy is having a PICNIC!''

''Urgh. No time to waste then.'' I gave a little tap with my foot on Rexie's side. ''Let's go!''

I rode Rexie into the clearing and my heart broke when I saw the people dear to me looking like statues.

I cleared my throat.

''I am Victoria Alexandra! You've attacked my surrogate parents!'' I flicked my whip as Rexie gave a loud roar. ''Prepare for punishment!''

''How primitive,'' scoffed Mr. 3. He was preparing to flick his wax at my direction.

''Rexie, Agility,'' I ordered.

The T-rex started to run in a zig-zag pattern to avoid the hammer-shaped wax. In the corner of my eye, I saw Usopp and Carue binding the Candle Set in oiled rope.

Suddenly, I got blown away by an explosion that was even more severe than the previous ones. Rexie roared in agony as we fell down. Poor Usopp and Carue shared the same fate.

''Mr. 5, you can't even take care for small fry like them? You disappoint me.''

''I did now.''

Fuck! Mr. 5 got that breath gun. Fuck! Luffy was still under the influence of Miss Goldenweeks' paint. Fuck! Mr. 3 was getting ready to attack Rexie and me. Fuck! We are all going to die in wax.

Fuck!

Fuck!

FUCK!

No! I'm not going to let things end like this!

I struggled to stand up while poor Rexie already got restrained with wax. I once heard an expression that said that fear gives you wings. Let's try that one out. With a wild dash, I approached the Candle Set. I began to cough due to the wax vapours. But that pain was minimal compared what the others went through. With all my power and focus, I double-jumped towards the turning candles. This is going to hurt, I knew. But I had no other idea. I made another air-jump, right into a burning candle. Flames started to lick on my T-shirt as I fell down. I managed to land on a piece of oil-soaked rope and everything just BURNED!

It burned like hell!

I had no idea what was going on, as I could only feel heat and pain. Even my sense of time was muddled as I lost consciousness. Again.

-GWTF-

I'm not actually sure how and when I woke up, but the first thing I saw was a tear-eyed Giant.

''B-brogy,'' I whispered weakly.

''Thank Elbaf, you're alive. The idea of losing both of you,'' he snivelled.

I smiled weakly, as my whole body ached. Especially my back hurts. Well, lying on it doesn't make it comfortable either. I tried to get up as I noticed some sort of cloth around me.

''Err, what's this?'' I pointed at the cloth.

Brogy turned away his eyes, like he wanted to avoid the question.

''Brogy-san and I made sure you are decent,'' explained Vivi.

''Decent?'' I wondered as I peeked underneath the cloth. My mouth fell open as I saw exactly what Vivi meant. The fire completely destroyed my T-shirt and parts of my leather vest were burned away. By some sort of coincidence or anime logic, my own body wasn't really burnt, although I was pretty itchy. But the way my clothes were gone revealed my chest area. On laundry day. Which means no bra day. Poor Hayden, who I tend to hide in my bosom, looked at me coldly.

I looked in Vivi's direction, and saw that her clothes weren't as badly damaged as mine. The same could be said about the orange-haired girl.

''Seriously!?,'' I shouted. ''I'm the fanservice girl?''

Everyone looked at me like I was nuts, so I turned around to face Brogy. The leg of his pants had a piece missing that looked suspiciously like the cloth I had around me.

''Thanks for protecting my honour.'' I gave a small bow as I said that.

''It was the least I could do,'' Brogy said with a sad face.

Well, we have been ignoring the elephant in the room long enough. Or I should say, the giant in the clearing.

''Dorry,'' I whispered.

It was that moment that Brogy couldn't hold back anymore and started to cry. Loud. And so much water.

Anyone who has seen or read Alice in Wonderland probably knows that part were Alice could drown in her own tears. Only Brogy was big!Alice and I was small!Alice.

So I went to the left side of Dorry, where the rainfall wasn't that severe, and did my own crying. I was exhausted. So much happened in such a short time-span. So I let the tears go, letting them flow away.

''Check it out! Back there!'' and Luffy broke the mood for me. ''It's a rainbow! A rainbow!''

''He is even hearty when he cries!'' said the orange-haired girl who covered her ears.

''It's like being under a waterfall,'' pointed the green-haired swordsman out.

''I understand…'' cried Usopp. ''Master Brogy…''

Due to Brogy's loud crying, nobody seemed to notice that Dorry was slightly moving. As I stood near his face, I saw his eyes opening slowly.

I smiled at him.

He blinked. Slowly, with support from his sword, he tries to get up.

Eyes popping everywhere, as people saw Dorry sitting and clutching his shoulder. I have to say that Brogy looked the most ridiculous. He even made some sort of dab out of sheer surprise.

''Dorry…'' Brogy said. ''You… how…?''

''I guess I was unconscious,'' declared Dorry. ''It was probably… because of your weapon.''

''Weapon?'' wondered Usopp who was wiping of his tears. ''Off course! After 100 years of being used in the Giants' warfare, even weapons from Elbaf wouldn't be able to cut anymore!''

''Everybody lives!'' I shouted happily with both arms raised in the air.

Brogy was laughing while holding Dorry in some sort of bro-hug.

''Oi, Brogy. You're hurting my wound.''

''I'm so glad you're alive, my dear friend!'' laughed and cried Brogy at the same time.

Dorry could only laugh and cry in response.

''Guys, don't get too chummy,'' I warned with a laugh. ''Or else the shippers are getting idea's.''

Said warning got ignored as both Dorry and Brogy are used to the weird stuff I tend to say.

Instead, they were giving each other friendly slaps on the shoulder. Said slaps soon became punches.

''You looking for a fight, dog!?'' taunted Dorry.

''Yeah!'' growled Brogy. ''I'll crush you into the ground!''

Both Giant rose from their sitting positions, face to face, ready to break out a fight.

''Teheeheeheeheeeee!'' I laughed. ''You guys never change!''

''Why the hell are you fighting again!?'' yelled the orange-haired girl.

I laughed even harder.

-GWTF-

We all went to Dorry's place to regroup and rest. Dorry got himself bandages for his shoulder and Brogy around his hands. I went in the cave to do my own check-up. The cave was a mess inside, but luckily everything was still in one piece. I made sure Hayden got some leaves to eat and got moisturised while I was getting my smartphone. As soon as I saw my face in the selfie-mode, I shocked. Dried blood was all over my face and even on my glasses. But the thing that actually scared me was the dent in my chin that wasn't there yesterday. Well, at least I don't need to look at my own face. Then I used my phone to make pictures of my back and checked them out. Luckily, that didn't seem to be that bad. I got myself bandaged and looked for clean clothes. With a sigh, I grabbed my bra and a green T-shirt from the stack of laundry. My burned leather vest got replaced by the fluffy hot pink vest I wore when I arrived in this world. I tried to comb my hair with my fingers, as my handbag didn't contain a real comb, but eventually I didn't bother.

''So this was about the bounty on our heads!'' said Dorry as I went outside. ''I completely forgot!''

''But the reason they initially came to this island was because of me…'' The orange-haired girl quickly tried to get Vivi over her guild trip by pulling her cheek. ''Would you cut that out?''

''She is right, Vivi!'' agreed Luffy who was eating rice crackers with Usopp and Carue. ''What are you so down about? Wanna senbei?''

I chuckled as I recognised those crackers. That fiendish pirate stole cookies from a little girl!

''Hey Sandra!'' Luffy waved at me. ''Join the senbei party!''

''Sure.'' I sat down next to Usopp and Carue. ''How does a senbei party work?''

''We can toast with them!'' Luffy raised his cracker, Usopp and I followed suit. ''Kampai!'' he cheered. ''Kampai,'' said both Usopp and I. it was simple and silly. But also fun. My mood soured however, when my least favourite smell reached my nose; tobacco.

''Nami-saaaaaan-! Vivi-chwaaaan-!'' said a blonde guy with a happy voice. He was in a suit and had a very interesting eyebrow. I mean, the thing was basically a swirl. Sadly, he was smoking a cigarette. I hate the smell of cigarettes. ''… and the rest of you jerks!''

''Yo, Sanji!'' Luffy waved at the blonde. But Usopp and Carue looked pissed at him.

''Everybody is safe, right?'' asked the blonde named Sanji. ''Thank goodness!''

''That dork never showed up to help us…'' growled Usopp. ''…and he has the gall to show up _now!?_ ''

''WHAT THE HELL!?'' freaked said dork out. ''ARE YOU MR. 3!?'' He pointed at the Giants.

I coughed.

I shouldn't have done that, as Sanji saw me sitting on the ground.

''I believe I haven't introduced myself yet.'' Sanji was with one knee on the ground, almost like a proposal stance. ''I am Sanji,'' he turned his face away. ''and I'm not worthy of facing a raw natural unkempt beauty like yourself.''

''That sounds like a big pile of shit,'' I deadpanned.

''Gababababa! Blunt as always, Alexandra!''

''Alexandra!?'' Sanji was making some weird wiggle dance. ''What a beautiful name!''

''Is he always like this?'' I asked Usopp. He nodded.

''Okay,'' I sighed. ''Sanji.''

''Yeeees?''

O man, how broken must somebody be to behave like this? Then I remembered some recent anime episodes. I shuddered.

''Would you please be so kind to refrain from smoking when you are near me?''

Sanji blinked.

Once.

Twice.

''Of course.'' And he went to Vivi and the other girl whose name I still haven't officially heard.

''Well then,'' said Sanji as he sat on a fallen tree. ''I just had a talk with Mr. 0 on the Den Den Mushi.''

Vivi shuddered. ''The Boss!? You talked to him!?''

''Yeah,'' explained Sanji. ''There was a weird-ass hideout in the middle of the jungle.''

Ah, he is talking about the House of Wax.

''Seems he mistook me for this Mr 3. So I went ahead and told him I'd finished you guys off.''

''That means he thinks we're dead, right?'' asked Vivi.

''Why is it that when nobody's looking for us, we can't leave!?'' cried Usopp towards the heavens.

''We can't leave?'' said Sanji with a hint of tease in his voice. ''Do we still have something to do here?'' he was reaching for something in his pocket. ''And after I went through the trouble of bringing you this thing.'' And he revealed an Eternal Pose to Alabasta.

Everyone, sans the Giants and me, dropped their jaws. I should have taken my smartphone outside with me, because that would be a funny picture.

''W-what?'' wondered Sanji.

''It's an Eternal Pose to Alabasta!'' shouted Luffy. This was the signal for the pirate crew to cheer. ''We can set sail!''

''Let's go captain!'' I heard the orange-haired girl say.

This. This would be the moment to ask. Otherwise I miss my chance at survival. The chance to see the world. But I got nervous. Can I just ask it aloud? Will they even accept me? I started to fiddle with my hat while I saw Vivi hugging Sanji.

Unnoticed by me, Dorry and Brogy looked at each other for a moment and nodded.

''Before you go…'' said Dorry. ''…there is somebody who would ask you a question.''

''Huh,'' wondered the crew.

Brogy lowered his face in my direction. ''Come on, ask them.''

''B-but, what about you and Dorry?''

''So you want to waste the rest of your life on this island?'' asked Brogy.

''The seas are calling for you, little one,'' added Dorry. ''You have ignored them long enough.''

''What's this all about?'' wondered Usopp.

I gathered my breath. This is it. Now or never. Do or die. ''De dood of de gladiolen'' as they say in my home country.

''Pirate crew!'' I addressed as I stood stiff like a board, shivering from the nerves. ''Please accept me as one of your own!'' I bowed deeply and my hat almost fell off my head.

''Is that all?'' wondered Luffy as I raised my head. ''Sure, you can come with us.'' He began to sport his D-shaped grin. ''After all, you were pretty cool with that lizard.''

What does he think I am? A beastmaster? I stood dumbfounded. I wasn't that good with animals. The fact that Rexie listens to me is just luck. I tried to work with other animals, but I failed constantly. The best experiences I got was with standard pet farm animals. There is no way I could live up to the standard of a Grand Line animal trainer.

Usopp waved his hand in front of me. ''I think you broke her.''

''Whoa! Alexandra –chan is coming with us?'' Sanji was being… well Sanji.

''You did hear that he accepted your offer, didn't you?'' Dorry poked me with his finger in my back.

''Hiieeee!'' I yelped as my back was still sensitive.

Luffy started to laugh. ''You make funny sounds. Let's go!''

''Great!'' I said. I turned around to head to the cave. ''I'll pack my stuff.''

''Can I be of assistance?'' asked Sanji.

I was thinking to say ''no'', but I realised I've got quite a few things to carry, and I could need a hand. ''Okay then.''

Inside the cave, I tried to pack my small items in my handbag. I put my clothes and a wooden box in the shopping cart. I looked at the piece of cloth that was used to cover me up. Well, it wasn't like Brogy would use that anymore, so that was added to the shopping cart. I checked my weapons and put Hayden in my bosom. I saw Sanji getting a slight nosebleed, probably wishing he was Hayden.

''Never heard about Victoria's Secret Compartment?''

Sanji shook his head.

''Now you do,'' I said with a grin. ''Don't tell anyone else, otherwise it isn't a secret anymore.'' I gave him a wink. Normally I wouldn't act like that around types like him. But Sanji is Sanji. He often gets bad luck when it comes to woman, and I do feel a bit sorry for him. Especially after seeing his childhood in the anime.

''Can you bring the shopping cart with us?'' I asked him as I hoisted my handbag.

''You mean that metal thing with the tiny wheels?'' he wondered.

Off course, shopping carts don't exist in this world.

''Yep,'' I nodded.

''You got some interesting things here, Alexandra-chan.'' He said as we made our way out of the cave.

''Believe me, you don't know the halve of me,'' I said.

Outside was a commotion as Rexie showed up. The girls were screaming, Luffy's eyes were shining, the swordsman was ready to cut up the young T-rex and Usopp tried to explain that Rexie wasn't as dangerous as he seems.

''Don't worry, Alexandra-chan, I will protect you,'' declared Sanji as he was getting ready for action.

I had to grab him by the collar to stop him from attacking.

''Let me handle this.''

I walked towards Rexie. He made a quiet growl and lowered his head.

''Hai there buddy,'' I said as I petted him on the nose, carefully avoiding the scar.

''I told you,'' I heard Usopp say. ''That thing is on our side.''

''So cool!'' shouted Luffy.

The girls dropped their jaws.

''I'm going away to the big waters with this pack,'' I explained to Rexie. Hopefully he understands. Animals do seem to be more intelligent than in my original world. ''But their boat isn't big enough for you.'' Especially since he wasn't at full size. ''So I'm afraid this is goodbye.''

''What are you saying? Off course he…'' mid-sentence the orang-haired girl punched Luffy. ''That thing will become too big for Merry! Haven't you seen the grown-up ones!?''

I hugged Rexie his maw as I remembered how I met him. I've never thought I would get attached to him. As I let go, I gave Rexie some final advise; ''Listen well to the big ones, and don't get in the way of their fights. Okay?''

The young T-rex gave a nod and shook his body a bit. One of the feathers on his back fell on the ground. With his nose, he tried to shove the feather in my direction.

''Is that for me?''

I picked up the feather and attached it to my hat.

''Thank you,'' I said as I gave him one last hug.

I then turned in the direction of the two man who took care of me for the last five weeks.

''Dorry, Brogy,'' I said.

''No need for words,'' interrupted Dorry. ''We both hoped that this would be the way we would say goodbye.''

''Become a great pirate,'' added Brogy. ''And make us proud.''

''I will,'' I said teary-eyed. ''Thank you for everything!''

At that moment, I wished I could increase my size in that of a Giant, so I could give these two a hearty hug. But they were waving me goodbye, trying to hold back their tears. So I turned around to face the people who would be my comrades. Nakama.

I jumped in the air as I whooped; ''I'm going on an adventure!''

-GWTF-

''Our friend are leaving,'' said Brogy. ''Together with little Alexandra.''

''Yeah,'' said Dorry. ''But we can't just let them go. That monster is still lurking in the western sea.''

''Dorry, how's your wound?''

''What of it? I'm not gonna die.''

''My axe and your sword are about to reach their end,'' said Brogy as he picked up his axe.

''Are you sad about it?'' asked Dorry as he held his sword.

''I'm saddened, yes,'' admitted Brogy. ''I've fought with this axe for over 100 years. But…'' He looked at the broken reflection in his axe. ''For those little humans, I won't regret it.''

''Then it's decided,'' said Dorry.

Both Giants rose from where they were sitting. Making their way to a certain spot on Little Garden.

-GWTF-

This would be the last time that I walk in this jungle. I never thought I would miss this place, as I was fearing for my life when I got here. But I managed to survive. I befriended the Giants, managed to train myself and even acquired hunting skills. For humans like me, Little Garden is a hellhole. But despite that and all the emotions and fears I went through, I had to say that these five weeks of hell were the best ever.

During this walk, I finally heard the names of the last two Straw Hats; Roronoa Zoro, and Nami. Finally I can refer to them by their real names.

As we got on board of the ship, I couldn't help but smile.

''You're ship looks cute,'' I said.

''Off course,'' declared Usopp proudly. ''Nothing but the best for Captain Usopp.''

''I thought Luffy was the captain?'' I said teasingly.

''Ah, right…'' said Usopp. ''Can I take that metal thing to the storage room?''

''Sure,'' I said after picking up my handbag and my clothes.

Usopp then went away with my belongings.

''Alexandra, are you coming?'' called Nami. ''You will share the room with Vivi and me.''

O crap! I'm not used to sharing rooms. Even during school outings, I often got a room for myself. And that's not without reason.

''Err, okay,'' I said as I followed her while holding the stack of clothes I own. ''I do have to warn you… I snore.'' Nami looked at me with a ''so-what face''. ''I snore very loudly, like an old man. I also talk in my sleep and tend to laugh, very loud as well.''

I saw a little eye-twitch from Nami. ''You get two choices then.'' I gulped. ''You sleep somewhere else…'' Sounds reasonable to me. ''or you pay for every snore, word or laugh.''

''I go for option one,'' I said a little scared. ''Can I still use the wardrobe though?''

Nami shrugged. ''That's fine.'' She rummage in said wardrobe and made room for my clothes.

''You wear that?'' she wondered as she saw my underwear.

''Not by choice,'' I defended. ''I got that all from a shipwreck. It was that or nothing.''

''How did you even get here on this island?''

''Ehe,'' I said nervously. ''Complicated story. I will explain when we are all together at sea. Okay?''

''Fine, but you will tell.''

I nodded.

When I got outside on the main deck, I heard Sanji and Zoro discussing the sizes of two dead dinosaurs.

''See for yourself! Mine is _much_ bigger!'' I heard Zoro say.

''Just look at it! My lizard wins!'' said Sanji.

''Do those eyes of you _do_ anything!? My rhino is much bigger!''

Phrasing guys.

''Who cares,'' said Luffy with a smile. ''They both look tasty.''

''SHUT THE HELL UP!'' shouted Zoro and Sanji at the same time.

And the guys continued to bicker like a bunch of kids.

''How long are you guy going to keep at it?'' asked Nami annoyed. ''It's not like all of it will fit on the ship. Just cut off what we need. We're ready to set sail.''

''Yes, Nami-san-!'' said Sanji with a happy wave.

''Hey, Usopp! You see I won, right?'' asked Zoro.

''Eh, I don't care,'' said Usopp as he was standing against the railing.

''Besides, I've seen bigger prey,'' I added with a shrug. I thought about the Apatosaurus that got killed by Dorry today. That one was definitely bigger than the Triceratops and T-rex the guys caught.

''Can't you just call it a draw?'' offered Vivi.

''There isn't such a thing as a draw in a match,'' declared Zoro.

''GET UP HERE NOW!'' Nami used Snarl! It's Super Effective!

Well, at least we were going to set sail now. The dinosaurs were cut in pieces, and the best pieces were loaded aboard the Merry.

I felt euphoric as we began to move and I just couldn't help myself.

''I'm on a boat!'' I rose my hands in the air. ''I'm on a boat!'' I didn't notice people sweatdropping. ''I'm on a..'' and I got a fist from Nami on top of my skull.

''We need to focus here,'' said Nami with her fist ready for another strike.

''I'm sorry,'' I said dejectedly and crawled in a corner.

''What's with those mood swings?'' wondered Usopp as he saw me.

''It's the Giant-ossans!'' I heard Luffy say. ''They came to see us off!''

I immediately jumped up and grabbed my smartphone from my handbag. There was no way I wouldn't film what was coming.

There, at the coast where the river meets the sea, stood Dorry an Brogy. They had their backs turned to us as they watched the sea. Their mantles were fluttering in the wind. It seriously made them look like guardians. To me at least.

''For all the tiny humans that have come to this island…'' spoke Brogy.

''…the biggest reason they could never reach the next island lies ahead,'' added Dorry.

O boy, this sounded even more epic than in the anime. I was getting goose bumps.

''You guarded our honour with your lives,'' spoke Dorry.

''And so, we shall do the same, no matter what kind of enemy there may be,'' told Brogy.

''A friend's honour must never be tarnished, no matter the cost!''

''Believe in us and go straight ahead! Whatever should appear, do not stray from your course!''

''I got it!'' shouted Luffy.

''What the hell?'' wondered Zoro.

''What did you get?'' asked Usopp who looked a bit nervous.

''WE GO STRAIGHT AHEAD, NO MATTER WHAT!'' declared Luffy.

The silence was deafening. I knew what would happen. But even I felt a bit nervous as we were entering the sea.

''This is farewell,'' said Brogy solemn.

''We'll meet again,'' said Dorry as both of them revealed their weapons.

''Without a doubt.''

There was so much I wanted to say to them, but I just couldn't. It would break the mood if I did. Instead I looked forward.

''Look! Up ahead!'' Nami pointed to a certain spot in the sea where something was rising.

''So you've surfaced, Island Eater,'' said Dorry.

''We will have you to let them pass.'' Brogy glared at the Island Eater. ''Upon the name of Elbaf!''

Both Dorry and Brogy let at a roar as they rose their weapons. Both began to glow. Dorry's sword got a blue glow. And Brogy's sword a red one.

I seemed to be the only one who saw (and filmed) that, as the rest of the crew had their attention on the thing in front of them.

''WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?'' screamed Usopp.

I turned around and almost dropped my smartphone. I wanted to crack a joke about a giant Goldeen, but this monstrously big thing made my mouth fall open.

''What is this thing?'' wondered Luffy. ''A goldfish?''

Usopp gulped. ''A g-giant goldfish?'' he shivered. ''W-where have I heard that before?''

''Turn the helm!'' shrieked Nami. ''Hurry, or we'll be eaten! Usopp, hurry!''

''I-I can't! We're going straight ahead! R-right, Luffy?''

Luffy gave a nod and looked at Usopp. ''You bet.''

As Merry got closer to the wide-open mouth of the goldfish, it got darker. That thing was blocking out the sun!

''Are you insane!?'' asked Nami. ''This thing isn't like Laboon!''

''I know,'' said Luffy while he was sitting relaxed on his favourite seat; Merry's figurehead. ''Settle down.'' He threw a rice cracker in Nami's direction. ''Here, have the last senbei.''

''I don't want it!'' yelled Nami while she actually caught the thing. ''We've got to turn the ship around! We're all gonna be…!''

''Nami, give it up,'' said Zoro as he let a scared duck inside one of the rooms.

Poor Nami started stress-eating on the rice cracker.

''Luffy,'' yelled Sanji. ''We can trust those guys, right!?''

''Yup,'' said Luffy.

''Seriously?'' Vivi was stressing out. ''Are we really going to sail straight into that monster!?''

''It's too late!'' screamed Nami. ''We can't stop now!''

And thus we sailed into a giant goldfish and were all eaten.

The end.

Like that would happen! I admit, it was awfully dark inside. And many of us had reached several levels of being done with this shit. But I was waiting for that one glorious moment.

''Believe in the Giants, everyone!'' I said. ''I've been living with them for five weeks, and look how I'm doing.'' Err, maybe I'm not that much of a good example. ''Besides that,'' I added. ''If a Giant swears something on Elbaf, they mean business.''

Usopp gave a nod, even though he looked like he was on the verge on shitting himself. I don't blame him. Even I was a bit scared, despite the knowledge of what would happen soon.

Suddenly, a huge shockwave hit Merry from behind and pushed her forwards. And while there was first nothing but fish, a hole opened in front of us. Right through the fish! And we were flying through that hole!

Everyone made sounds of relief as we were flying in the sky.

''No turning back!'' announced Luffy. ''We're going straight ahead!''

After that short, but awesome flight, we landed back in the sea.

''Huge!'' grinned Luffy. ''That was so huge!''

''They even pierced the ocean itself!'' Usopp was crying from witnessing the formidableness of the Giants. ''This is the true strength… of an Elbaf Warrior! It's so awesome-!''

''I love those guys,'' I cried.

''NOW FRIENDS!'' roared Dorry and Brogy. ''GO FORTH!''

-GWTF-

 _Purupurupuru, purupurupuru, gatcha._

 _Ruthenium._

 _Yo, Alte Sack._

 _You know who you are talking to._

 _Yeah, whatever. See if I care. Got any news, or got bored?_

 _I need you for something._

 _Wirklich? This one didn't die?_

 _Indeed. I need you to…_

 _Spitze! Chopping fingers was getting a bore. I know the drill. Spater!_

 _Gatcha._

-GWTF-

AN:

Well, I had no idea when or where to split the arc, so here is a Giant chapter instead.

Thanks to writing this fic, I got very attached to Dorry and Brogy. So seeing both of them getting hurt so much was pretty painful for me.

Starting from incoming Monday, my job starts. This means I got less time to write, and probably post once in the two weeks. Unless you prefer shorter chapters once per week. I am planning to have the Drum Arc finished before Christmas.

Review corner:

gamelover41592: Thank you so much. Seeing this shortly after posting chapter 2 made me very happy ^^

Yuki Suou: Thank you. I was afraid that some parts were too angsty. So it is a great relief to hear this.

loop2: Thank/blame my parents for that ;) As she is a self-insert, the main character got the names I was given. I guess you can review a lot more now with this chapter xD


	4. Snowy island

**4\. Snowy island**

I was standing on the deck of the Going Merry and I enjoyed the sea breeze. A smile appeared on my face as I was looking at the pirates. Actually, now that I'm sailing under a pirate flag, I'm technically a pirate too. According to the Word Government's standards it is. And even if I didn't travel on a pirate ship, I would be considered a pirate as a faraway ancestor of mine was a pirate captain. Not that anybody in this world knows about it.

''Hey guys,'' I heard Usopp say. ''guess what! Someday, I'm definitely gonna visit Elbaf, the Village of Warriors!''

''OH YEAH!'' shouted Luffy. Both he and Usopp began to sing horribly off key and did a silly dance that looked like the Can-can.

''Gi, Gi,Giants!

Gi, Giants!

El-baf, baf!''

Just watching those bundles of joy dancing on the railing made me feel warm inside.

''Everyone's huge!

'Cause they are Giants!

Big ol' Giants!

Huge Pirates!''

But then the jolly two lost their balance and almost fell from said railing.

''Can't you guys even watch out?'' asked Nami tired.

''Kids these days,'' I shrugged. ''they are full with energy.''

Vivi was just looking at the sea with a worried expression. That's no surprise, as her country is in danger.

''Don't worry, Vivi-chan,'' I heard Sanji say as he approached us with a bunch of cute little cakes. ''I'm here!'' he offered the food to us. ''How about sampling some of today's relaxation snack, petit fours? And for beverages we have coffee and tea, whichever you prefer.''

''Sanji-san,'' said Vivi gratefully.

''Looks good!'' shouted Luffy and Usopp as they were drooling like crazy. Even Carue was drooling.

''Your snacks are in the kitchen!'' grumbled Sanji.

The three guys immediately ran for the kitchen. I couldn't help but chuckle a bit.

''Err, Sanji,'' I pointed at the petit fours. ''are there walnuts or hazelnuts in these?''

I saw a flash of worry appear on Sanji's face.

''It's not like I die, but I will be curled up in a corner, foaming from the mouth for half an hour, if I eat it,'' I explained.

''Thank you for the warning, Alexandra-chan,'' nodded Sanji. ''I wouldn't like seeing you in such a state. But don't you worry, I guarantee that these petit fours are nut-free.''

''Thanks.'' I popped one of them in my mouth. ''Iwt twastes goowd,'' I said with my mouth full.

I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. ''I believe you were going to tell something about yourself?'' suggested Nami.

I froze.

''I couldn't actually follow what you said back at Little Garden, Alexandra-san,'' said Vivi.

''I would love to learn more about you,'' added Sanji. ''What did a lady like you do in the fierce jungle?''

My eye twitched a bit. I hate being called a lady. I'm a tomboy, not a lady. ''Can somebody gather the others first?'' I said while a pang of pain reached my head. ''It will be mind-blowing, and I'm sure there will be questions.''

''No problem, Alexandra-chan.'' Sanji made way to the kitchen. ''Hey jerks! Alexandra-chan is going to tell about herself.''

''Story time!''

''Quack!''

''Hey, don't steal my food Luffy!''

My goodness, those eyes all looking at me made me feel nervous. Everyone sat in half a circle, and I was on the other side of it. I began to sweat a bit.

''Err, okay. What you guys are going to hear is something that must never be told to anyone else. Keep it a secret, because I could be in danger if the wrong person hears about it.'' Several doom-scenario's flashed in my mind. What if the Word Government finds out? They could torture me for information and throw me in the deepest level of Impel Down as thanks. Thinking about it just gave me a sting of pain. Better ignore it now.

''I am from another world.''

Mouths fell open as I said those five words.

''Are you joking!?'' yelled Usopp. ''Is there a way to prove that?''

''Is something like that even possible?'' wondered Nami.

''There's no way that Alexandra-chan is an alien,'' cried Sanji.

''You remember that metal thing you saw in the cave, Sanji? That's a shopping cart, from that world.''

''I could build that too,'' mumbled Usopp.

I put my hand in the pocket of my fluffy vest and took out my smartphone.

''This is technology from my world.'' I showed them my smartphone. ''It can do the things a Den Den Mushi can do, except eating.''

''Can you call Den Den Mushi's with that?'' wondered somebody. Darn it, I'm starting to feel dizzy.

''Never tried and not planning to. I prefer to keep myself low,'' I said as I put my hand on my forehead. It feels hot, somehow.

''There is another thing...'' Eyes were glued at me. Should I drop this bombshell? It would be shocking. But if I want them to trust me, I should make myself trustable by laying my cards open. ''I have seen you guys before, on drawings and moving pictures. In my world you were actually fictional characters.''

And now eyes were popping out, accompanied by sounds of surprise varying in decibels.

''As in, Sleeping Beauty is real in a world separated from ours?'' reasoned Sanji who has recovered first.

''Yep,'' I nodded.

''How much do you know?'' demanded Zoro.

''Certain things that were. Some things that are. And perhaps some things that have not yet come to pass. Depends on how much is getting changed by me being here.'' I scratched my head. ''Also, I don't remember everything, as it was a long time ago I saw certain things. For example, I forgot about the bomb in Dorry's beer. And even now I got the nagging feeling that I forgot something. It's like I'm standing in front of a wall, and a voice from the other side tries to tell me something.'' I shook my head. ''I know, I sound like I'm nuts, but I'm telling the truth.''

''So you are a Mystery person,'' concluded Luffy.

''Pfftteheeheeheeeeheeee!'' I laughed. ''That's typical you, Luffy.'' I wiped a tear from my eye.

''Does that mean that you know things about our personal lives?'' wondered Nami.

''Yes.'' I saw Sanji slightly twitching. I don't blame him. ''But I won't tell anything. Unless they want to talk about it themselves that is.''

''It's hard to believe something like that,'' admitted Usopp. ''What do you know about me? Just tell what you know.''

Okay, you are asking for it. ''Your dad is named Yasopp and he is the sniper on Shanks's pirate crew. Your mom died from illness when you were a little boy. But your habit of announcing the arrival of pirates haven't ceased after her death. You are friends with a sickly young woman named Kaya and entertained her by telling fantastical stories. And you got three kids following you around with you as their captain. I think they were named after veggies.''

''That is slightly creepy.'' Usopp blinked. ''But do you also know the future? Do you know where the greatest treasure ever is!?''

''Oi,'' interrupted Luffy. ''You are not going to tell everything we gonna see and do! I don't want a boring adventure!''

''No worries, I won't spoil. Only dropping hints when needed.'' I raised my hands in defence. ''Besides, I don't know that far in the future, as the series is still ongoing.''

''That is okay,'' nodded Luffy. ''I will ask when I want to.''

I blinked for a moment as I didn't expect Luffy to say that. But I shrugged away the feeling and decided to give a big motivation. I got a determined look on my face. ''I haven't seen it. But I am sure that the One Piece is real!''

''Yahoo!'' shouted Luffy happy with his hands in the air. ''Sanji, food!''

The cook recovered from his stupor and went to the kitchen, mumbling something. Probably about me. He was followed by Luffy, Usopp and Carue.

''Oi,'' said Zoro. ''Will there be good fights?''

''Dude,'' I grinned. ''you're going to be on some epic ones.''

Zoro returned the grin as he went back to his training.

''Are we going to be rich?'' asked Nami.

''It will take a while, but yes, we will find treasure and get rich enough to buy a ship if needed.''

Perhaps I shouldn't have said that as Nami started to drool and her eyes were changed in Belly symbols.

''Alexandra-san?'' asked Vivi. ''What about Alabasta? Will my country be safe?''

I sighed. ''It will be tough… but we will save it.'' I gave a nod. ''Crocodile won't get away with his wrongdoings!''

''Thank you!'' Vivi teared up. ''Thank you.''

I gave the crying princess a pat on her head.

With the excitement going down a bit, I realised I got pretty hot. Worse then I felt before. Weird, the sea breeze was cold enough to let Vivi wear a hoody. I removed my vest after I put my smartphone in one of its pockets. The weird stings of pain kept on pestering me. Somehow, I was swaying on the deck.

''Did somebody leave the oven on?''

I only heard some screams as my face met the floor.

-GWTF-

I forgot a detail again. I realised that as I heard a crying Sanji. My current situation? I was in bed, panting, sweating and having pain on my chest and in my head, while people were standing around me. Off course, in canon, it was Nami who got sick. But instead I am the one who's life got in danger. But how? When I lived at Little Garden I made sure my pants were tucked inside my socks and I checked myself for any bugs in the evening. It wasn't like I was running naked through the jungle. Wait. My clothes were burned away. Enough to reveal flesh. Did I get stung while I was unconscious? How much time was there between burning in candle fire and getting a piece of Brogy's pants around me?

Suddenly, the guys were making an awful lot of noise. Couldn't it be a bit quiet? There is a sick person here.

''Just… don't worry… about me…'' I panted. ''Are we… still in the… right course?''

''Nami-san is currently outside with Mr Bushido,'' reassured Vivi.

''Good…'' And again, everything went black.

-GWTF-

Purupurupuru,

What the…?

Purupurupuru,

O, it's Hayden.

Purupurupuru,

With a shaking hand, I reached for the snail that was hidden in my bosom.

Wait, I couldn't find them. After some searching, I found out that Hayden was on the nightstand next to the bed.

Gatcha.

''H-h-hello?''

''Yo, Guten Tag!'' The voice sounded female.

What? German? I had to dig in my memories of language classes. Which isn't fun as I had the feeling like my brain was in a wringer.

''Do I know you?'' I asked. ''W-wer bist du?''

''I'm calling at a bad time? You don't sound that gut.''

''I-I'm sick,'' I shivered. ''Sick and probably dying.''

''Scheisse,'' cursed the person. ''Stay alive, I will call back in a few days. 'Name's Kenya.''

The line went silent as Hayden made a ''Gatcha'' sound. I put them back where I got them from, as I wondered who the heck that person was who called me. I don't remember a Kenya in the world of One Piece. So who is she?

For some weird reason, I was the only one in the room. I tried to listen carefully, and heard sounds of some sort of commotion coming from outside. I saw my glasses on a nearby nightstand and put it on. I was hoping to get outside, but I was already so tired. Instead, I sat in the bed, breathing heavily.

''Sandra!'' I saw Luffy running down the stairs. ''We found an island! An island!'' he was doing a happy dance. Sanji and Nami followed Luffy down the stairs.

''We need you to get dressed warm,'' explained Nami as Sanji was carrying my dark purple winter jacket and a blanket. I recognised it, as it was actually the piece of cloth Brogy gave me.

''Don't worry, Alexandra-chan,'' said Sanji. ''We will get you to a doctor.''

I gave a slow nod as Nami helped getting me dressed in my jacket and the blanket.

Sanji heaved me on his back and as we went outside, I felt myself slipping away again.

-GWTF-

''Sandra.''

Slap, slap.

''Sandra.''

Slap, slap.

''Can you hear me?''

''HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?''

I slowly opened my eyes as I saw Luffy standing next to me. Did he just slap my face or something?

''Oh! You're awake!'' Luffy said.

Guess why…

''Hey listen, you can't see a doctor unless we climb a mountain. So we're going mountain climbing.''

Wait what?

''Are you insane!?'' yelled Sanji. ''What are you trying to make Alexandra-chan do!?''

''It's okay,'' answered Luffy. ''I will carry her.''

''That will only worsen her condition!'' said Vivi.

There are two things we could do. Wait for a doctor, or going to the doctor. Waiting isn't a guarantee and we will miss the chance to meet Chopper. But the climb will be horrible for Luffy. But something with a big mouth will try to get to the castle. If there aren't any Straw Hats there, who knows what will happen to the country.

I tried to get my hand in the air, as if I wanted to do a high five. ''Go for broke, captain,'' I said with a weak voice.

''You got it!'' said Luffy as he high fived me. ''Leave it to me!''

''I can't believe it,'' sighed Usopp. ''She is just as crazy as our captain!''

''Do you know what kind of condition you are in right now, Alexandra-chan!?'' asked Sanji.

''Will you really be okay?'' wondered Vivi. ''This trip may take hours.''

I gave a weak smile. ''Just… do it.'' And I promptly slipped away again.

-GWTF-

When I woke up again, I was in another bed. Was that the third bed today? I wasn't sure. The blankets were nice and warm. But there was something on my head. Probably for my fever.

I heard footsteps. Whoever it was, passed me and went to a different place in the room. I then heard the sound of something being grinded. I tried to look in the direction of the sound and saw something brown with pink on top. I could really use my glasses right now, as things far away tend to get blurry. Now it looked like the small brown person with pink on top was lower than first, and moved in my direction.

I raised up to sit in the bed.

''Yo,'' I said with a weak voice.

Off course I should know the reaction of the small person, but it was still weird that he was so scared of me. I'm just a weak little girl. Okay, scratch the ''little girl'' part, as I passed my eighteens some years ago.

I blinked as I saw something brown in the door opening.

''Err, I still see something.'' The small person then made sure they were hidden in the right way. ''And could you fetch my glasses please?'' I just hoped the person didn't feel stealth-insulted.

''SHUT UP HUMAN!'' shouted the person. Shit, I did insult them.

''And how is your fever?'' they added quietly.

''I feel a lot better,'' I said while holding the back of my hand against my forehead. ''Whoever is responsible for this did some great work.''

''Your compliment doesn't make me happy at all, bitch!'' said the person while moving like they did some sort of dance.

''Something doesn't seem to add up here,'' I pointed out with a chuckle.

''Looks like your fever's gone down, little girl.'' I didn't notice an old woman entering the room. I couldn't see much, due to lacking glasses at the moment, but it seemed like she wore a midriff-baring shirt off all things. ''Ya seem to be happy,'' she said.

Well, having been on the verge of possible death and survive it is quite a reason to be happy. ''Yep,'' I said with a nod.

Okay, don't just aim your index finger at my forehead without warning please.

''Are you a doctor or something?'' I asked her.

''38.2°C. That's tolerable,'' the woman muttered. She removed her sunglasses from her face. ''I'm Dr. Kureha. But call me Doctorine.''

''Err, Doctorine-san, I have a question,'' I said as I held my hand in the air like I was back at school. ''Are there two other people in your care? One is a black-haired kid with a straw hat and a scar under his eye. The other is a blonde with a swirly eyebrow and probably smells like cigarettes.''

''Yeah, they are sleeping like babies in the next room.'' I had to resist a chuckle as I somehow imagined Luffy and Sanji sleeping in a crib in baby clothing. Well, at least my weird mind is getting back on track. My thought were interrupted as Kureha lifted my T-shirt.

''This is the cause of your illness,'' she pointed out at some weird blotches at my belly. ''You were bitten by an insect called a Kestia. It's an infectious species of tick that inhabits hot, humid jungles.''

So I _did_ play Nami's role in this arc. Interesting.

''The infection begins when the insect bites and bacteria enters it through its mouth,'' continued Kureha. ''Once inside, it incubates for five days, causing the host immense pain.''

Pain? Well, I was in agony, but I fainted a lot. So I didn't think it was that painful. Or I'm just like a Pokémon and faint whenever things are too much. Nah, that sounds crazy.

''…widespread infection, Myocarditis, Arteritis and Encephalitis. From the state of the wound, I'm guessing it's about the third day. I expect you've had more than your share of pain up until now. But if you left it alone for two more days, it wouldn't have hurt at all.''

''Because I would've been dead?'' I said in a flat voice.

''Exactly.'' Kureha flashed a scary-looking grin. ''They call it a Five-day Disease. Though I heard the Kestia became extinct 100 years ago. You're lucky I still had the antibiotic. Just where the hell did you come from? You weren't wandering around a jungle on one of the Prehistoric Island with your belly sticking out, weren't you?'' she laughed creepily. ''Of course you weren't.''

''Err, actually.'' I twiddled with my fingers. ''I've set myself on fire to save my surrogate dads and some visitors who've become my comrades from a birthday cake made of wax.''

Kureha blinked.

And pushed me flat on the bed.

''Stay on the bed. Rest and recover. We will see how you do after three days.''

I thought I saw Kureha grabbing a chair to sit on as she mumbled; ''Foolish girls these days.''

''Can't I just rest on board of the ship? We can't wait three days. I'm sure I will be getting better now.''

I barely said these words as Kureha suddenly jumped me, held me down to prevent escape, and got a scalpel waaay to close to my throat. I did the most natural thing I could do:

''HIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!''

''Now don't make such a fuss,'' said Kureha as she held the scalpel close. ''You only leave when you're cured or dead. No in-betweens.'' She did a witch-like cackle. ''Understood?''

''Doctorine, yes Doctorine!'' I yelped in fear.

Is the only thing I could do right now to lie in a bed? There is a country in danger!

''SAVE ME!''

Now what? I have to rest and recover, fast, but I can't with all that noise.

I vaguely remembered what could be going on, as I saw something entering my room in high speed. Why is it screaming? And why is it entering my room so many times?

''Sandra.'' I heard a surprised Luffy saying.

''Alexandra-chan!'' Ah, that's Sanji.

''You got better!'' said Luffy happily.

I gave a tired smile.

''Yosh! Alexandra-chan, I'll whip up a nice venison dish to help speed your recovery!''

Sanji and Luffy turned around, in the direction of the brown with pink.

''Wait guys that's no foo…''

But they were already in hot pursuit of the poor thing. Again.

I facepalmed.

''I'm surprised,'' admitted Kureha. ''They can run around like that already.''

''They are impossible,'' I sighed. ''By the way, who is the person my friends are chasing?''

''You wanna know, huh?''

''Let's just say I'm a curious person.''

Kureha sighed for a moment.

''His name's Chopper. And he's just a regular blue-nosed reindeer.''

''Since when do reindeer talk?''

''There is a difference between him and any other reindeer. He's eaten the Hito Hito Fruit.''

''Hito Hito? What kind of Devil Fruit is that?'' I cocked my head. Sure, I've watched subbed anime, but that doesn't mean I know a lot of Japanese. Although I do know Chopper's story. It's just not suspicious if I know his story _after_ Kureha told me it.

''He's a reindeer who gained the abilities of a human. And I've pounded all my medical skills into him.''

-GWTF-

We had lunch together. Luffy, Sanji and me. Although I had to stay in bed. But I didn't mind as I was already glad to get a bit of food. The last thing I ate was a petit fours, and that was maybe days ago. Thank goodness there wasn't any venison. I love to eat it, but not when the guys are still seeing Chopper as food. So I had a bit of porridge and was told to sleep some more. While I tried to rest, because doctor's orders and Kureha is a scary doctor, Luffy tried to recruit said doctor. I doubt he would be more successful if he didn't call her a granny.

After both the boys got an intense meeting with the walls, they went to chase Chopper for the umpteenth time to get his meat. It seems like Kureha was fed up with it too, as she went off in pursuit, even threatening to eat them! What's with the cannibalism?

I didn't even feel sorry for them. Especially not when they left the door open. There was freaking snow at the other side of that door!

With a sigh, I tried to go out of bed to close the door. My foot didn't even touch the stone floor as I heard a voice; ''No, stay in bed!''

I think I saw Chopper approaching me. When can I get my glasses, darnit!?

''You still have a fever.''

''Not as bad as first,'' I shrugged.

''But you still can't!'' Chopper said as he looked warily around for a monkey and a cook.

''Doctorine's medicine works quickly, so your fever will be gone soon. But the Kestia bacteria are still in your body.'' Thank goodness, he closes the door. ''You have to take your antibiotics and stay put, understand?''

I nodded slowly. ''You were the one that took care of us, didn't you?''

Chopper froze.

''I grateful for what you did. Thanks.'' I beamed a smile at him.

''SHUT UP! I DON'T NEED GRATITUDE FROM A HUMAN!'' yelled Chopper. I would've flinched if he didn't do that silly dance in between the outbursts. ''DON'T MESS WITH ME! Ehehehe. Asshole… Don't mess with me, jerk... It won't work… Ehehehe.''

I know that I often have trouble accepting compliments, but Chopper brought that to an extreme.

Chopper slowly walked towards me. Wary as if I was some sort of wild animal that could lash out any moment.

''You guys are pirates?'' he asked me while poking my hand carefully.

''Yep''

Poke.

''Real ones?''

Poke

''With a ship, skull and crossbones flag, a great crew, the whole shebang.'' I couldn't help to add some pride in my voice. I was the newest member, and here I am, advertising piracy. ''Are you interested? We are looking for a doctor in our crew.''

''NO IDIOT!'' yelled Chopper as he walked backwards, ''NO WAY!'' right into a bookshelf. ''STUPID!''

''But we do need a doctor,'' I pleaded. ''Just let me have a chat with the captain. I'm sure he will accept you.''

''DON'T BE STUPID!'' he continued screaming. ''I'M A REINDEER, Y'KNOW? WHY THE _HELL_ SHOULD I GO WITH YOU HUMANS!?''

Wow, for such a tiny thing, Chopper got a loud voice.

''I mean, aren't you scared of me?'' Chopper asked in a quiet voice. ''I'm a reindeer, but I walk upright and I talk.'' He looked at me for a moment. ''And my nose is blue.''

''Yeah, so what?'' I shrugged. ''I'm in my mid-twenties but still got pimples on my jawline, I snore like an old guy, my chin got an ugly dent and I have autism. We all have our things that makes us being unique. And there is nothing wrong with being different.'' I held my arms wide while beaming a smile. ''Join the pirate side. We have petit fours.''

Maybe this would be the moment that Chopper understood that being different isn't wrong. Maybe we reached a deeper level of understanding. But that moment got rudely disturbed by no other than my own captain Luffy.

And thus, the mad race for meat began. AGAIN. Please give me a desk to let it meet my face.

''What a quick pair of brats,'' huffed Kureha as she was leaning on a chair. ''I'm disappointed, little girl,'' she said as she sat down. ''Who said you could tempt my reindeer while I'm not around?''

''Tempting is such an ugly word,'' I said. ''I'm just giving him an opportunity.''

Kureha did her scary ''heehee'' laugh again. ''If you want him, go ahead and take him. However, someone like him won't go so easily.'' She began to sound more serious. ''His heart bears deep scars. Large wounds even I cannot heal. You see, from the moment he was born, he was abandoned by his parents and his herd. All because he had a blue nose. He always walked alone by himself at the back of the herd. This is a new born baby we are talking about.''

I balled my fists. How dare those other reindeer treat him so badly.

''Then one day, he ate one of the Devil Fruits and came to be treated as a complete monster. The other reindeer viscously chased him away. He had completely ceased to be a normal reindeer. But he must have wished for some nakama. So in the form of a man, he went down to a human village. But he didn't look like a human either. For some reason, his blue nose didn't change. He didn't understand what he did wrong. He didn't even know who to hate. He only wanted nakama, but was branded a monster. He was no longer a reindeer, but neither was he a human. So he lived alone, in total solitude.''

Seeing and hearing the story on the anime wasn't pretty, but now this story was personally told to me. This wasn't about a character, but a real person. And I just felt so sad.

''Can you fill the void in his heart?'' asked Kureha.

It sounded easy in the anime. Let Chopper know the magic of nakamaship and join the crew. But now I had the feeling we got quite a challenge ahead of us.

-GWTF-

I don't know how much time has passed, but after hearing the beginning of Chopper's backstory, I had a nap. I woke up when my nose noticed something. I barely registered what it was, as I was still a bit sleepy and still haven't got my glasses, but I thought it was food.

''In order to help you regain your health, Alexandra-chan, I've prepared an extra special meal for your enjoyment.''

My stomach growled as I looked at the full plate.

''Sanji, you are a lifesaver,'' I said with a hungry look on my face.

''But then again, Alexandra-chan is still wonderful, even when she's recovering,'' swooned Sanji.

Please, don't sound like a creep.

''Unbelievable.'' Crap, Kureha in door opening. Pretend to rest! ''When did you decide you could use the kitchen?''

''Madam, the roast there is high in protein and will rejuvenate…'' aaand, Sanji got kicked into a wall again.

''I'm not a madam,'' said Kureha. ''I'm an unwed flower. Still too young, far too young.''

''I would say, eighties? You got beautiful flowing hair.'' Yeah, I'm trying to butter up here. Anything to leave the castle and get to Alabasta. Hopefully with a reindeer in tow.

''You want to know my secret of youth?'' grinned Kureha.

''Ooh yes! Then people can say that dermatologists hate me for using a certain trick to stay young,'' I chuckled.

''I've never heard that motivation. But I will tell you for a price.'' O no, I'm not getting even more indebted to her then I am now.

''Sorry, I've got no money with me.''

''Too bad.''

''Doctorine, save me!'' the mad chase is being on again.

''Luffy,'' I said. ''What in the name of all creatures great and small are you doing?''

''This guy is going to be our nakama,'' answered Luffy as he ran around Kureha in attempt to catch Chopper.

''That's great!'' I beamed.

Chopper didn't agree as he was arguing with Luffy about being recruited. O Chopper, nobody escapes Luffy when he wants you. The two ran out the room and left the three of us watching at the dust cloud.

''Nakama, huh?'' muttered Kureha. ''You have no idea how deep a meaning that word holds for him.''

Sanji and I looked at Kureha in silence.

''He lived alone. But there was one man he once opened his heart to. He was a quack doctor who gave Chopper his name and called him a son.''

''Erm, Doctorine?'' I asked. ''Before you continue, can I have some Kleenex first?''

''What?''

''Because I think I will cry.''

-GWTF-

And crying I did. Brogy style. The only thing that was missing was a rainbow. And I never got any Kleenex. Luckily, Sanji gave me his handkerchief.

''Bwaaaaaaaah whaaaaaaaah! That poor kid has gone through some much shit, Bwaaaaaah!''

My crying got interrupted as Chopper ran into the room.

''Doctorine! Doctorine!'' he panicked. ''Doctorine, come quick! Wapol has returned!''

''I see,'' said Kureha calmly. And she left the room.

Sanji's eye narrowed for a moment. ''Stay here Alexandra-chan. It seems like we have hippo as dinner.''

So now I was left alone. I facepalmed for my own stupidity with the handkerchief. Why didn't I warm everyone about Wapol? Well, at least his tin, polished ass will be kicked. I got out of bed, ignoring the cold feeling underneath my feet, and went to look for my glasses. Thank goodness, they were on a table nearby, Hayden was sleeping next to them. After putting my glasses on, I could finally see my surroundings clearly. I saw my shoes, vest, jacket and blanket near the same table where I found my glasses. I quickly put on my sneakers to get my feet a bit warmer. As I just finished tying my shoelaces, Luffy ran in the room.

''Jacket… jacket… jacket…!'' he said with chattering teeth.

''Here, take mine.'' I threw my dark purple jacket at him.

''Thank you Sandra.''

''No problem. Have fun kicking asses.''

''Yosh!'' And Luffy ran off.

Okay, what things were going to happen now? Something with a fusion? Wapol running in the castle? And something with a key? If I remembered correctly, Nami stole that key from Wapol. That's going to be a problem as I am not a professional thief. I put on my fluffy vest. Guess I have to find that hippo when he is in the castle and steal that key myself. Sadly, I couldn't find my weapons. Perhaps they are on board of the Merry. And I'm afraid I don't last long in my condition. I rubbed my chin as I hoped I would do at least a bit better against Wapol than the previous Devil Fruit User I faced. I stepped out of the room to see the rest of the castle. Maybe I could make a trap or two.

The inner part of the castle was completely frozen. There was snow everywhere. And it was cold. So freezing cold. I let my gaze fall over the many stairs I saw. If I could get some thin rope, I could let that guy trip.

''Maaaaaahahaha!''

''Hippowdon lapdance!'' I blurted out in surprise. I didn't think he would be already here! I looked down and saw that tin can guy on the ground floor.

''What were you saying there? Eehh? Are you one of that Straw Hat's nakama?''

''Straw hat? What are you talking about?'' I began hopping on my legs, doing some weird dance. ''Besides, do you happen to know where the toilet is? I really have to pee.''

''Down the stairs and the first door to the right.''

I blinked. That went easily. ''Thank you very much.'' And I walked in said direction. Now how am I going to get that key?

''Did you think that would work?'' Hieeee! How did he get behind me? Did he climb a pillar or something?

So I ran, screaming like a little bitch; ''Hieeeeeeeeeeee!''

''Don't run away from your king!'' Wapol yelled at me while chasing after me.

''My king?'' I screamed as I ran. ''The last time I saw pictures of my king, he wasn't obese and didn't have a chin that's uglier than mine!''

''That's it! I'm going to eat you! Stupid hippo!''

''What's with the cannibalism!?''

Thank goodness I've trained myself for running. Although the snow didn't made it easy. I've got to escape somehow. So I ran down a small stairway in the hope that he would get stuck. And for once my plan worked. That blik bastard could move just as well as Winnie the Pooh who got stuck in the entrance of Rabbit's hole.

''Have I been putting on a little weight?'' he wondered.

I snorted. Seeing those legs struggling to get out was funny to see.

''Baku Baku Factory!'' Wait what? ''I'll eat myself.''

Goda, what the fuck? Autocannibalism? How is that even possible? O yeah. Devil Fruit, making logic their bitch since 1997. Seeing Wapol as a bucket with teeth looked wrong. And the crunching sound as he was chewing on himself didn't made me feel any better. Big Mom would have a field day with that guy. After that weird display, he somehow got out of himself and was now thinner and longer than he was first. Dieticians would probably hate him. He still got that ugly chin though. Making that longer doesn't made him look better. However, I had more attention to something else. The key was visible!

''You are not going anywhere,'' Wapol said with a slightly creepy voice. And he readies himself to jump at me. Well, he probably didn't expect me to do the same, as I did a double-jump to punch his nose and grab his key. I landed on the railing of the first gallery above us and ran like crazy back to the ground floor.

''Can't catch me! Nanana!'' Why, o why must I taunt my enemies? Because it's fun. But also stupid because I heard Wapol roaring behind me; ''You pay for that, hippo!''

''FOUND YOU-!''

Newsflash; Wapol got kicked in the face by my captain.

''Nice one, Luffy!'' I said as I did a thumps up. I saw that my jacket was damaged. One sleeve was missing and it was full with holes and scorch marks. It was an old jacket anyway, so I didn't mind that much.

Wapol wasn't amused at all, but still got a smug grin on his mug.

''You low-life pirates think you are so much! But everything will change when I get myself in the armoury!'' he pointed at a big door behind him. ''I have the key right here! And when I enter, I will eat all the weapons with my Baku Baku ability and will become a human weapon feared throughout the world before your eyes! Maaaaahahahahaha!''

He sounds like a dumb villain during his evil gloating. O wait, he is.

''Maaaaahahahaha!''

''You and what key?'' I wondered loudly as I was digging in my nose.

''Whaaaaat! The key is gone!''

Wapol blinked.

Once.

Twice.

And ran away.

''Oi, wait!'' yelled Luffy who went after Wapol.

''Go get him!'' I cheered. ''Show that tin-chin who's boss!''

I have to say that I've got myself a good view at the two who ran higher and higher up the stairs. I chuckled as my eyes followed the clouds of kicked-up snow.

''Alexandra-chan!''

I turned around to see Sanji approaching me. Crawling.

''Thank goodness! You're okay!''

''Sanji, what happened to you?'' I asked as I went on one knee. ''I've heard you slept like a baby, but to crawl like one in the snow…'' I shook my head. ''is just crazy.''

''Are you really that worried about me, Alexandra-chan?'' Sanji's male gaze was aimed at a certain place. ''If I could just be embraced by your gentle warmth...''

I pushed my hand in his face. ''Let's not go in that direction, shall we?'' I deadpanned.

''Mwefs mwfalexwandwa-chwan.''

I sighed as I removed my hand. ''But seriously though, you look like shit. Are you really okay?'' I patted Sanji on his head. ''I'm worried about you and Luffy. You guys just know me for a short time, and yet you've risked life and limb for me. Why?''

''Because I can't ignore a lady in distress.''

I facepalmed. Typical Sanji.

-GWTF-

I sadly missed the sight of Wapol's defeat. I really wanted to say something in the lines of ''blasting off again''. Instead, I was discussing the health and recovery situation with Sanji.

''Maybe you should stay here until you are completely healed, Alexandra-chan.''

I sighed. ''I don't mind if you guys go to Alabasta without me. It's only…''

''Only what?''

''I never had fear for doctors or hospitals, but Doctorine creeps me out.'' I shivered a bit.

''Stop your complaining…'' Uh oh… ''…and get back to the infirmary RIGHT NOW!'' yelled Kureha as she KICKED A FREAKING WALL!

Sanji and I fled like our lives depended on it.

I went back in bed, just like a heavy-wounded Dalton who was brought in by the locals. Vivi and Nami were with them. I later heard that they helped digging Dalton out and were worried about both Dalton and me. But while Dalton and I just lied in bed, Sanji wasn't that lucky as Kureha took him to another room.

And the sounds I heard. I thought bucket!Wapol was wrong, but Sanji's agony was worse, far worse. It sounded like freaking torture. At least I wasn't the only one who flinched at this.

''As I thought,'' said Kureha as she left the torture room. ''He aggravated it.'' The locals looked like they lost their shit. I don't blame them. ''That's what he gets for overdoing things.'' Kureha took a swig from her bottle.

''Dalton,'' she asked. ''Where is the key to the castle armoury? You know, right?''

''The key to the armoury? What do you want to do with it?'' asked a bandaged Dalton.

''What I do with it is my own business.''

''Wapol has always carried that key on person. If he still did today, it had flown off into the sky along with him.''

''What? Are you serious? That's a problem…''

''Hey Doctorine…'' I said. ''could you let our crew recover for free? And release us, perhaps?''

''I think you already know the answer to that. The fee is all the gold and cargo on your ship.'' Nami twitched a bit. ''And you have to stay here for at least another two days.''

''But we need to get to Alabasta as soon as possible,'' said Vivi.

''And how can you charge that much?'' grumbled Nami.

I grabbed the key I held on person since I stole it and held it in Kureha's direction. ''I think we can make some negotiations?'' My grin was mirrored by Nami who saw what direction I was going.

''How did you get that key!?'' asked Dalton with uncharacteristic wide eyes.

''Is that really it?'' wondered Kureha. ''What is this about?''

''Punched a bigmouthed ''king'' on the nose and took it,'' I said with a grin.

Kureha glared at me. ''You picked up a fight and then try to bargain with me while you should be resting. Rotten kids these days.'' She took the key and grabbed her jacket as she walked away. ''I won't take any payment for treating you. But that's all. I cannot accept the second condition, as a doctor.''

I sighed. How could I think that everything would go my way? ''But we seriously need to leave,'' I pleaded.

''Listen here, little girl!'' Kureha pointed at me. ''I'll be out for a while attending to some business. There is a coat in a chest of drawers in the inner room. And nobody is keeping any sort of watch. Plus, I'm done treating that greenhorn's spine. But listen here! Don't you _dare_ run off on me!''

I gulped. Meanwhile, Kureha addressed the locals; ''You guys come with me. I'm going to need some strong arms!'' With those words, Kureha left the room with the man following behind her.

''So, I guess we have to sneak out of here?'' I wondered.

''No,'' said Nami as she looked at me like is missed something important. ''She wants you to put on a coat, grab Sanji-kun and get out of here.''

''Huh? I thought she told me to stay.'' I tilted my head a bit.

''Can't you read in between the lines?'' wondered Nami.

''Nope, never been good at that,'' I admitted as I got out of bed. ''Anyway, have you seen my weapons and my handbag? They weren't at the table.''

''We left them at the Going Merry, Alexandra-san,'' answered Vivi.

''Ah ok,'' I said as I put on my clothes and the coat. ''I was afraid they got lost here on this island.''

We entered the room where an unconscious Sanji lied. Great, that means we got to carry him all the way down.

After some time we got at the entrance of the castle. Just at that moment I heard Luffy shouting something to Chopper; ''Oi! Let's be pirates together!''

''What's going on there?'' wondered Nami.

''Sh,'' I whispered. ''A historic moment will be soon upon us.''

''I mean,'' said Chopper. ''I mean I'm a reindeer! With antlers, and hooves, and a blue nose! I want to be a pirate, but I can't be the nakama of a human, you know! I'm a monster! Someone like me CAN'T be your nakama!'' after this outburst, he spoke with a softer voice. ''So I'm here just to thank you for the invitation. I will stay here, but if you ever feel like it, come back someday and-''

''SHUT UP!'' Luffy raised both his hands in the air. ''LET'S GO!''

-GWTF-

I would have expected a tearful goodbye between Chopper and Kureha, but it seems like that was something else I had forgotten after all those years. So you can say that I was just as surprised as the rest of the crew when we saw Chopper pulling a sleigh and ordering us to get in as Kureha ran after him while swinging a mace. What followed was the most crazy sleigh ride I've ever experienced in my life. I call it a miracle that we didn't fell of the rope we used to get down the mountain. When we got down the rope, we happened to pass by a bunch of locals who could barely comprehend what was going on.

''Yahoo!'' shouted Luffy as we were now going through the forest. ''That felt great! Oi, let's do it again!''

''Idiot! We are leaving!'' said Nami.

''I thought I was gonna die!'' shivered Usopp.

''Where the hell am I?''

''Sanji-san, are you awake?'' asked Vivi.

''Wakey wakey,'' I said with a grin.

But still. There was something supposed to happen. Something I wouldn't want to miss at all. But instead we were still riding away from the castle.

''Did you hear that too?'' wondered Luffy. ''It's like fireworks! Hey Chopper, stop the cart!''

I have to hand it to Luffy, that guy sure got good ears. As soon as we stopped and turned around we saw the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Mere manga and anime couldn't beat what played here in front of my eyes. The mountain where the castle stood looked like a cherry tree in bloom. The top was completely pink. The surrounding snow fluttered down like cherry blossoms at spring. The sight was so magical and tranquil. Nothing can beat something beautiful like this. As the snowy blossoms rained down upon us, Chopper bawled his eyes out. Finally, he saw the dream of his beloved doctor coming true.

-GWTF-

On board of the Going Merry, the cherry blossom tree seemed to look even bigger. I had managed to find my handbag and weapons on board and was now busy filming and photographing the sight. There is no way I let this memory undocumented.

Meanwhile, the guys began a party. They were singing clapping and looking like idiots. Especially Luffy looked ridiculous with chopsticks in his nose. I couldn't help but laugh with them and burst out in a song I often heard when Christmas was coming. Even though I botched up the lyrics;

''The weather outside is frightful,

but the pink is so delightful.

So since we're on Merry Go,

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

''Let it snow,'' sang Luffy and Usopp. ''Let it snow, let it snow.''

Chopper was looking bewildered at how we were making a noise in the middle of the night.

''Hey Chopper,'' I said with a smile on my face. ''you okay, buddy?''

Chopper looked shyly at me.

''I know these guys are quite a noisy bunch. But you can count on them when you need them. After all, we are nakama.''

''Nakama?''

''Yep. We are all sorts of crazy here. But we have our heart at the right place. Just take your time to get used by them.''

Chopper gave me a smile. He looks so adorable that I had to resist myself from hugging him. First he needs to get used to us all. I then realised I barely got time for that myself. Everything went so quick. I barely managed to tell them about myself before I got ill. Yet, they did everything they could to save me.

''Carue!'' I suddenly heard Vivi. She held a shivering duck in her arms. The Brogy blanket was wrapped around him ''Why were you frozen in the river?''

''Haha, he probably slipped and fell in. What a klutz,'' laughed Zoro.

''Be quiet, Mr. Bushido!''

''He said some Zoro guy went swimming in the river,'' said Chopper. ''And when he didn't came back, he was afraid something bad happened. So he jumped in after him and got frozen.''

''So it was YOUR fault!'' Nami gave Zoro a punch on his head.

''Tony-kun, you can understand what Carue is saying?''

''Yeah, I was originally an animal. So I can talk to other animals,'' explained Chopper.

''You can talk to other animals?''

''That's wonderful, Chopper!''

''Think of the possibilities,'' I grinned. ''Not only you have medical skills, but you can also translate animals!''

''Idiot!'' yelled Chopper with a smile on his face. ''Complimenting me like that doesn't make me happy!'' He was clapping his hooves. ''Asshole!''

''He looks pretty happy,'' concluded Luffy and Usopp.

''By the way Alexandra, what do you mean with ''medical skills''?'' asked Zoro.

''Chopper is a doctor,'' I said while petting his hat. ''Dr. Kureha teached him everything she knows in the medical field. He is first class!''

''WHAT!?'' the guys said.

''Chopper, you're a doctor!?''

''Wow!''

''You're kidding!''

''Well, what are your reasons to let Chopper in the crew?'' I asked.

''Seven-level transformation. Cool reindeer,'' said Luffy in a flat voice.

''Emergency food supply,'' added Sanji.

Poor Chopper got a bit blue when he heard that.

''O crap,'' he realised. ''I was in such a hurry to leave that I forgot my medical supplies!''

''O,'' wondered Nami. ''What is in this thing?'' she held a little blue backpack in her hands.

''That's my backpack!''

''It was on the sleigh,'' explained Nami.

''Why?''

''What are you saying? You mean you didn't prepare these supplies for the journey?''

''Could Kureha have prepared those?'' I wondered. ''I don't really get it though. She chased you out but made sure you had your stuff. Those mixed messages don't make sense.''

''Don't say it like that!'' Nami gave me a clonk on the head. She then turned to Chopper. ''She already knew what was in your heart. What a wonderful person.''

The party was meanwhile in full swing again. Luffy proved again that he was a bottomless pit, Zoro and Sanji got in an argument, Usopp tried to give a speech, Vivi was trying to help Carue who was choking on a beak full of rice and I was nursing a bump on the head that probably disappears in a few minutes.

And Chopper?

He realised he never had this much fun before.

Usopp raised his tankard. ''To our new nakama! Kanpai!''

''AYE!'' We all shouted. If this wouldn't be heard in Drum, I would be surprised.

''KANPAI!''

-GWTF-

AN: Goodness! I never expected so many favs and followers after posting the previous chapter. Thank you so much everyone. *bows*

Also, the viewer count skyrocketed overnight. I can say I'm happily surprised when I woke up next morning.

Like I said in the previous chapter; I now post once in the two weeks. I've found out I really need that time as I also got my job to do.

Review corner:

gamelover41592: Ah. I seriously forgot. Stupid me. But hey, I've got to mention it now in this chapter. I hope you do not mind the slight shout-out to your comment.

BlackDove WhiteDove: I hope you enjoy the ride ^^

To everyone who has been reading this in the last month of the year; I wish you all a great holiday season and a happy new year ^^


	5. Back rides

**5\. Back rides**

The next morning I woke up on the deck with the Brogy blanket around me. I got up as I let out a huge yawn. Said yawn got interrupted as a rubber set of arms wrapped around me.

''Hey Sandra!''

''Ow, Luffy. You are shouting in my ear.''

''You were making amazing noise last night,'' giggled my captain. ''I didn't knew you snore that loud.''

''Urgh,'' I groaned. ''Nami will never let me sleep in the woman's room.''

''Why don't you sleep in our room?''

''You can't ask a female to sleep in the men's room, Luffy,'' yawned Usopp.

''Why not?''

''Err.'' O boy, Luffy is so innocent in that regard. Should I give him the talk? But he needs to stay innocent to be able to resist Hancock when that time comes. ''Let's just say that I make so much noise, Usopp would think there is a monster in the room.''

''Oi, I'm standing right next to you.''

''Sorry,'' I said quietly to Usopp. ''It's important that he stays oblivious for when a possible future event happens.''

''Oblivious to what?'' asked Luffy.

''Can't tell,'' I said with a slight tease in my voice. ''That would be spoilers.''

''No telling!'' And Luffy clamped his hands over his ears.

Usopp just shrugged. ''Guess we should trust your knowledge then.''

''What about getting some breakfast?'' I asked the two guys.

''Sanji, food!'' shouted Luffy in my ear.

''Oi! Don't piggyback ride Alexandra-chan, shitty captain!'' I heard Sanji yelling from the galley.

''Meh, I don't mind it that much,'' I said as I walked towards the promise of breakfast. ''I see it as training.'' Although I had to admit that I'm not used to having somebody I just knew so close in my comfort zone.

Looks like we were a bit late as Nami, Vivi, Carue and Chopper were already eating. Zoro was taking a nap and Sanji was busy in the kitchen baking eggs.

''Smells good Sanji,'' I said as I went to sit down.

''Only the best for my dears,'' swooned Sanji. ''Here is your meal, Alexandra-chan.'' Sanji put baked eggs on my plate. I could smell the fresh herbs covering it and saw pieces of ham in the egg. I was folding my hands and closing my eyes as a rubber hand grabbed my meal.

''Hmm, tastes good. But it should have more meat,'' I heard behind me.

''Luffy,'' I pouted. Note to self: Praying before meals is asking to get your food stolen.

''That wasn't supposed to be for you.'' I couldn't see it well, but I hearing from the sound, Luffy got a kick from Sanji on the head. It wouldn't surprise me if his head bounced back.

It seems like Sanji anticipated this as I got a new egg on my plate. This time is quickly shoved it in my mouth to prevent any thievery.

''You look hungry, Alexandra-chan. Was it from the energetic sounds you were making in the night?''

I chocked on my meal when I heard that and started coughing like crazy.

''Doctor! We need a doctor!''

''But you are the doctor, Tony-kun.''

''O yeah.''

I felt some pounds on my back and a piece of ham shot out of my mouth and landed on Carue's bill.

''Quack!''

''Can you pipe it down a bit?'' asked Nami.

''It's your fault it got so noisy, ero-cook,'' grumbled Zoro.

''What are you saying, marimo?''

Before I knew it, a battle broke out in the small room. Carue was running around the whip staff like crazy, Nami's face looked like thunder, Zoro and Sanji barely got anyone caught in the crossfire of their fight and Luffy was laughing loudly in my ear.

O boy, will all the mornings be as chaotic as this one? I'm already a noisy person myself, so to be surrounded by chaos like this isn't that good for my wellbeing. An overload of external stimuli tends to drive me crazy. I put down my fork, and tried to leave the table.

''Where are you going Sandra?''

Crap, Luffy was still attached on my back like a baby koala.

''Toilet, gotta pee,'' I grumbled as a clutched my lower abdomen. Please, not that too.

Gladly Luffy let go of me and demanded meat from Sanji.

-GWTF-

At the toilet, I found out that the monthly woman problem has begun. I quickly put a bunch of toilet paper in my underpants, thank goodness for male underpants having extra space, and went to the storeroom to get my handbag. After grabbing that, I went back to the bathroom. I rummaged in my handbag and found some sanitary towels. Crazy preparation for the win! I fixed the problem but I realised I had only three towels left. That isn't even enough for one day. Maybe I could borrow some from the girls. My first choice would be Vivi, as I'm afraid that Nami would charge me. During my stay at Little Garden, I made a mental list of things I shouldn't do. One of them is getting indebted to Nami.

I went back to the direction of the galley and found both Vivi and Nami on the outside balcony.

''Hey there,'' I greeted with a wave. ''I have a little problem. Could one of you help me with it?''

''What is the problem, Alexandra-san?'' asked Vivi.

''Let's just say that the monthly bloody war broke out and I'm short in supplies.'' O wait, I probably shouldn't have said it that way. Viv looked sort of sad.

''Err, I mean I have a case of an inner rebellion?''

''Alexandra…'' growled Nami.

''Meep!'' I quickly ran away at almost Soru speed.

Urgh, stupid me and my wording. I banged my head against the wall. I began to wonder how long I would survive here if I keep on being stupid. Until now, I have only caused worry to the crew. I better make myself useful when we arrive at Alabasta.

Yosh, time to train then. I looked up to the mast and the crow's nest. Maybe I could practice that move a bit. It didn't go that badly when I was faced against Wapol in Drum. I readied myself and jumped. As I was airborne, I jumped again. If I could keep this up, I can reach the crow's nest without even climbing. That would be pretty cool. Maybe I could even master Geppo before arriving at Alabasta. Wait, is that a ginormous bird in the air? It was at that moment I stopped kicking and fell down on my ass.

''Alexandra!'' yelled Chopper. ''Luffy is getting eaten!''

I looked up in the air and vaguely saw a humanoid figure near the beak of the bird. ''Wait what?!'' That isn't supposed to happen! Luffy should become Pirate King, not bird fodder.

''Shitshitshit!'' I looked at Chopper who was just as stressed as I am. ''Let's warn the guys in the back!''

Chopper and I ran to the deck in the rear while waving our arms like crazy.

''LUFFY GOT EATEN! HELP!''

We ran around Zoro, Sanji and Usopp who were casually playing a card game.

''Did he ask for help?'' asked Zoro without looking up from his hand.

''How can you stay calm about that?'' Chopper was totally stressed out.

Just as Chopper asked that, bird and boy plummeted down on us. Well, I can add being squashed by a big bird to the _List Of Shit I Survived_.

''Guys, I got meat!''

With a groan, we managed to get free again. Man, that bird must have a lot of meat then.

''How are you gonna repay me!?'' yelled Usopp at Luffy. ''I had a good hand that time!''

''I see, sorry,'' grinned Luffy.

''Wow, that's great,'' said Sanji who was looking at the defeated bird.

''We can finally have a decent meal,'' added Zoro.

Are baked eggs not a decent meal then?

''We can eat this?'' asked Usopp.

''It's been a while since I've eaten a bird,'' I said.

''Huh? Chopper, what's wrong?'' asked Luffy.

Chopper was indeed looking astonished. His blue nose moved a bit.

''Well… I think… Being a pirate is… A pirate is… So awesome!'' a big grin was on the reindeer's face.

''That so? We are awesome!'' Luffy sounded pretty happy. He and the other guys started to laugh and I couldn't help but chuckle a bit.

''You guys!'' said Nami who stood on the stairs. The ship's about to land at Alabasta. We don't have time to be playing around!'' she pointed to the main deck behind her. ''Come on.''

''Yes ma'am,'' sounded rather unenthusiastically.

''Hey, what's Alabasta?'' asked Chopper as we made way to the main deck.

''A country Vivi's father rules,'' explained Nami.

''This evil guy called Crocodile is trying to take it over,'' said Usopp as he went to sit on the stairs.

''And Crocodile is one of the seven Shichibukai,'' added Sanji.

''Shichibukai?'' asked Chopper.

''They're pirates who work for the World Government,'' explained Nami.

''A pirate that works for the government?'' wondered Chopper.

''Yeah, and they're REALLY powerful!'' said Usopp.

''They defeat other pirates without being chased by the Government. Their crews are also protected. And the bounty is frozen, so defeating one of them means nothing for bounty hunters. They do have to give the Government a part of the spoils of battle. And the Government can ask them to do things like aiding the Marines in times of war,'' I added.

''That is a load of information you got there.'' Zoro cocked an eyebrow in my direction.

''Crocodile huh?'' said Luffy full with anticipation. ''I wanna hurry up and meet him!''

''Crocodile is considered a hero in Alabasta,'' said Vivi. ''He shows up to defeat pirates who attack the towns. But that is just a front Crocodile puts up. From the shadows, he is inciting a rebellion in Alabasta. He wants to take the Alabasta throne. No one knows about this yet… not the people… not even my father.''

''Yosh!'' said Luffy as he slammed his palm with his fist. ''I just need to kick this Crocodile guy's ass, right?''

''Yes,'' answered Vivi. ''If we are able to stop the rebellion, we can drive Baroque Works out.''

''Baroque Works…'' pondered Chopper.

''Oh yeah, you don't know anything about them either, huh?'' realised Usopp as he scratched his head. ''Well, even I don't know much. The Baroque Works system is way too complicated.''

''Their system is pretty simple,'' explained Vivi. ''At the top is the Boss, Crocodile. He is ''Mr. 0''. Below him are thirteen ''Agents'' who take orders directly from the Boss. Twelve men and one animal. They are paired with female agents who complement their abilities.

Mr. 1 and Miss Doublefinger.

Mr. 2 is the only agent who doesn't have a pair.''

''Mr. 3 is the candle guy we met back in Little Garden, right?'' said Zoro.

''Yes,'' answered Vivi. ''and he was paired with Miss Goldenweek.''

''Ah,'' said Nami. ''That kid.''

''Mr. 4 is paired with Miss Merry Christmas,'' continued Vivi. ''To be honest, I don't know much about these two.''

''Luffy,'' I asked. ''Permission to give information?''

''Okay,'' he nodded.

''Mr. 4 talks slower than ketchup leaving the bottle, but he got a big-ass gun that ate a Devil Fruit and made it a gun-dog. It shoots explosive baseballs and Mr. 4 is an excellent batter. Miss Merry Christmas got a motor mouth and ate a Devil Fruit that allows her to change in a mole. She is an incredible digger.''

''How the hell did a gun eat a Devil Fruit?!'' yelled Usopp.

''To be honest, I don't know,'' I shrugged. ''it's one of the many things I would love to find out.''

''So you don't know everything?'' wondered Usopp ''Well, there is that booger guy, Mr. 5,'' he continued. Just hearing that name made my chin hurt.

''Booger guy?'' wondered Chopper.

''Yeah, his boogers are like bombs.'' Usopp made an explosive gesture as he said that. I held my hand on my chin and tried to rub away the phantom pain.

''Mr. 5's entire body is a weapon,'' explained Vivi. ''And Miss Valentine has the ability of the Kilo Kilo Fruit.''

''That womans who's able to change her weight at will?'' confirmed Zoro.

''All the Agents from Mr 5. up are called ''Officer Agents'','' summarized Vivi. ''They all have Devil Fruit abilities.''

''Sorry for the interruption, but I'm 110% sure that Goldenweek and 4 don't have a Devil Fruit,'' I interjected.

''Who told you that?'' asked Chopper curiously.

''It has been written by Goda himself,'' I said with a smile.

''Goda?'' wondered Usopp.

''I'll explain that later. Back to you Vivi.''

She nodded. ''The Officer Agents don't act unless a mission is extremely important. Then we have Mr. 6 down to Mr 13. who are the Frontier Agents. Their job is to lead the employees and raise company funds at the entrance to the Grand Line.''

''Now that I think of it, I met up with this weird monkey and chicken,'' said Sanji.

''You must mean Mr. 13 and Miss Friday,'' explained Vivi. ''They are the punishers. They deal with those who fail to complete their orders. Also, the Officer Agents have 200 subordinates called the ''Billions''. And the Frontier Agents have 1.800 subordinates called the ''Millions''. This is the underground criminal organisation ''Baroque Works''.''

''So 1.800 and 200 equals…'' calculated Usopp with his fingers.

''They have 2.000 people!?'' shouted Chopper.

''2.000!?'' Usopp's mouth was unnaturally far open.

''Those are the mooks.'' I waved my hand like it wasn't that bad. ''It's the agents we have to worry about combat-wise.'' If I recall correctly, a load of their ships get burned away by Ace.

''Yosh! I get it now,'' declared Luffy. ''I just need to kick this Crocodile guy's ass, right?

Usopp flicked his hand. ''You didn't understand a word Vivi said, didn't you?''

''If the takeover of Alabasta is Baroque Works' final plan…'' said Zoro.

''Then the rest of the Officer Agents must all be…'' added Sanji.

''…gathering in Alabasta,'' concluded Nami.

''Yes,'' nodded Vivi.

''I get it!'' said Luffy. ''So I just need to kick that Crocodile's…'' ''Enough already,'' interrupted Sanji. ''You can be quiet now.''

''Okay''

I stretched myself out. ''Back to training for me then.'' And I did an air jump to get to the deck behind the ship. Arrived there, I grabbed Indy, my whip and practiced some moves. I tried not to hit Merry as I don't want to damage her. I hoped nobody would approach me, as I didn't want to accidently whip somebody. Well, the cracking sounds would tell everybody that they are close to the danger zone.

I worked myself in quite a sweat as I heard somebody calling my name; ''Alexandra-chan, would you care for a little snack and a drink?''

I put Indy back on my hip as I turned around to see Sanji with a plate with food on it and a glass of water. ''Is that from the bird Luffy just caught?''

''Yeah. I've heard you requested it, so I went and made these for you.''

I don't remember asking for meat, but well, I won't pass an opportunity to eat. So I grabbed a meatball.

I turned my face to the rear of the ship and pointed to the bird meat in my hand. ''Boat snack!'' I said with a happy grin.

''What was that for, Alexandra-chan?''

''Just me doing weird and having fun,'' I shrugged. Who knows there is a BROB somewhere who plucks people from their homes for entertainment.

Nah, that sounds crazy.

I drank all the water in the glass in one gulp.

''You did it again Sanji,'' I said after I devoured several meatballs. ''You made great food.''

''Seeing you happy makes me happy too, Alexandra-chan,'' swooned Sanji.

And that was the moment I sweatdropped. ''Seriously Sanji, I'm too old for you, so please stop the lovey-dovey behaviour. Things get creepy otherwise''

''But according to the rule of divide by two and adding seven, I'm in your age range.''

''Sanji,'' I sighed. ''How old do you think I am?''

''Twenty?''

''I'm twenty-six.''

''Shit.''

Sanji blinked once.

Twice.

''But that won't stop me from admiring you though,'' he said as he went in a hurricane of love form again.

Seems like I made a new habit today. Which is banging my head against the wall.

''Are you all right, Alexandra-chan?''

''Don't worry about me,'' I said while I waved Sanji away. ''I'm just nuts, nothing new.''

I sighed loudly with my face still against the wooden wall. Why is everything driving me crazy? I guess I will have to go with the flow if I want to endure that craziness. Even if that flow is like a raging maelstrom of insanity. And I wasn't already the most sane person to begin with.

''Are you sure?''

''Don't worry, about a thing,'' I suddenly sang. '' 'Cause every little thing, gonna be alright.''

I heard Sanji's footsteps going away from me as I continued to sing. Hey, maybe I can use my weirdness to make my opponents uncomfortable. That could actually be fun. And wasn't the rule of thumb in this world, the more crazy, the more dangerous they are? I began the laugh as I imagined the dumbfounded faces of some random mooks.

''Teheeheeheehee, teheeheeheehee!''

Purupurupuru.

Hey, someone is calling me?

Purupurupuru.

I took out Hayden and began to answer the phone; ''I am Moana of Motunui. You WILL board my boat, sail across the seas, and restore the heart of Te Fiti''

''Yo, wie geht es?'' chuckled a female voice.

''Aren't you that person who called me recently?'' I wondered.

''Jawohl. So you are not sick anymore?''

''Hm yeah. Who are you?''

''Pretty direct, aren't you? Like I said before, ich bin Kenya. I'm also a member of the SANCC and head communications.''

''What on earth is the sank?''

''S. A. N. C. C. or Self-Aware Non-Canon Characters. Didn't Ruthenium explain you things?''

''No… I only saw a portal-creating old man who was blabbing about being worthy and stuff.''

''Typisch,'' sighed Kenya. ''That old bag you met is big boss Ruthenium. He founded the organisation years ago and helped many people like du und mich integrate in this world.''

''Are you telling me that you aren't native to this world?''

''Did you fail a listen check?''

I just sank down with my back against the railing. Somehow there is a whole organisation filled with people like me. How could something like this be even possible?

''But anyway,'' continued Kenya. ''der alte Sack asked me to be your contact person. So if you have any questions or just need to talk, you can call me.''

''I think I need to let things sink down for a moment.''

''Begreiflich. My number is 555-536-927-6245637343, but you can use the speed dial button to reach me as well. O and your number is 555-238-435-2786636529.''

Great remembering number series is one of the things I suck at. I don't even know the number of my mobile phone.

''Got to write that down sometime,'' I sighed.

''Your number is also on the back of the shell of your snail. Gotta go now to deal with some things. Tschüss!''

Gatcha.

With the connection disabled, I put Hayden back where I hide them. I remembered that old man I met at the abandoned ship. Does that mean he gave me Hayden on purpose? And what kind of plans does an organisation like the SANCC have? Maybe they are into illegal underground stuff. Please don't let them be associated with a dangerous villain like Mingo.

I shuddered.

What kind of mess did I get myself in?

-GWTF-

Thanks to my weird behaviour that morning, several Straw Hats seemed to avoid me. I didn't mind as I am used to be alone. But I was tired from training and the info dump I had. Maybe I could take a nap like Zoro often does? Sadly, the main deck was as quiet as a children's playground. So I went back to the deck I trained, only to see Zoro doing his training. I thought it would be mean to nap right where Zoro was busy with enormous weights, so I decided to go to check out a room I haven't visited yet.

''Watcha doing Sandra?'' I heard Luffy ask as I walked over the main deck.

''Exploring the Merry,'' I said as I picked up the Brogy blanket that I've left on the ground this morning.

''Can I go too?'' asked Chopper.

''If Luffy doesn't mind, I'm fine with it,'' I shrugged.

''Yosh, adventure time!'' shouted Luffy enthusiastically.

''But err Luffy. You already know Merry already. Wouldn't that be boring?'' I pointed out.

''But you and Chopper don't so it is still an adventure!''

I couldn't help but smile when I heard that. Maybe some innocent childish fun is what I need at this moment.

''Here is my favourite seat!'' Luffy pointed at Merry's figurehead.

I nodded as I remembered the times I saw Luffy sitting there in the anime.

''Come on!'' Before I knew it, Luffy had grabbed both Chopper and me and brought us along to the main mast. There he opened a hatch. With a smile on his face, he jumped into the hole. Chopper and I used the ladder to get down.

My first impression of the room was that everything looked cramped. There were five hammocks hanging on the ceiling. I saw a table with a relaxing looking couch, a chest, storage barrels and a lot of dirty laundry.

Chopper's eyes were literally sparkling. ''So this is where pirates sleep?''

''Yes,'' grinned Luffy at Chopper. ''and you can sleep here too.''

''So cool!''

Chopper looked so cute when he is happy. I tried to resist the urge to pet him. He seriously is as happy as a child.

''Hey Sandra!''

''Huh?''

''You can use the cough here if you want to sleep,'' offered Luffy.

''That is really nice of you, but I can't sleep in the same room as you. My snoring will keep you all awake.''

''Aaw, but you need a place,'' pouted Luffy.

I shook my head. Maybe there is an empty room I could use to sleep in? Well, I will find out during the exploration.

''Nami-swan, Vivi-chwan, Alexandra-chan and shitheads! Lunch is ready!'' Guess that has to wait for now.

''Meat!'' And Luffy rocketed himself out of the room.

Followed by Chopper, I went in the direction of the galley. I just hoped lunch would be less hectic than breakfast.

Yeah, not.

First Sanji scolded Luffy for letting me be late for lunch, only to get in an argument with Zoro. Vivi seemed to ignore me while Nami got a stern gaze aimed at me. Sometimes Usopp looked around as if he awaited the moment something strange happens at the table. To prevent Luffy from stealing my food, I held my arms around my plate like a bird of prey does with their wings around their captured meal.

I seriously felt uncomfortable as I was eating in my awkward pose.

''Nami, why can't Sandra sleep with you and Vivi in the room?''

''Because she snores so loud, even counting Belly's won't let me sleep,'' said Nami.

Urgh, it seems like she doesn't like me that much. Maybe I could bribe her like Robin did in the anime. I only need to steal a bunch of jewels somewhere.

How am I even going to find those jewels anyway?

Maybe we can let her sleep in the anchor room,'' offered Usopp. ''We can move some things and hang a hammock there.''

''Where is the anchor room?'' I asked.

''Below the front deck, so it's far away enough to let us sleep in peace,'' answered Nami.

Yeah, just rub it in Nami. That really makes us best friends.

''I'm fine with that location.'' I said with a shrug. ''It's not like I'm used to sleep on my own anyway.''

''You don't have any brothers or sisters?'' wondered Chopper.

''Nope. I'm only child. Sometimes, I wanted to have a sibling. A little brother to take to the zoo and exploring nature seems like fun. But well, you can't have everything. Besides, my parents often said that I count for ten. I wasn't the easiest person, especially during puberty. I can't deny that I was a bitch.''

''You talk a lot,'' pointed Zoro out.

''Yeah, there is a funny story about that. It began when I just started school…'' I saw some tired looks in my direction. ''Another time then,'' I said quietly and continued eating.

-GWTF-

He isn't a shipwright, but Usopp sure knows how to make a room suitable for lodging. He moved some items to the wall and hung a hammock at the ceiling. He also brought an empty crate that I could use any way I liked. As a finishing touch, a painting that hung in the storage room was relocated in the anchor room as a decoration. It maybe doesn't seem like much but I was grateful for what he did. I was so happy that I gave the sniper a big hug. Poor guy didn't knew what to do as I held him thigh. And then Luffy joined in the hug.

So yeah, I'm afraid that I made things awkward for Usopp.

The rest of the afternoon was less social fumbling as Nami sensed a storm which we avoided by turning away on time. After that Luffy continued the exploration with Chopper and me. Eventually, he showed us every nook and cranny of the Going Merry. I enjoyed the tour, as it kept my thoughts away from me. I wondered how life would have been if I was as simple-minded as Luffy's is. I guess it would've made the people even more tired than I already did, so maybe that isn't a good thing.

After dinner, I decided to sleep early, only to realise I still haven't got sanitary towels to get through the night. Hence my surprise as I found a package of tampons in the crate I wanted to store my handbag in. I had no idea where those things came from, and I just hate the idea of using them as opposed to sanitary towels. But beggars can't be choosers, so I went to the bathroom with one anyway.

Arrived at the bathroom, I realised there was another problem: I had no toothbrush. I slammed my head against the tiled wall in frustration.

Wait, maybe I can find one in the storage. So I left the bathroom to rummage in the crates.

''Can I help you with anything, Alexandra-chan?''

I didn't notice Sanji entering the storage room, so I sprang up with a shriek; ''Hieeeeee!''

''Sorry.'' I tried to catch my breath. ''I didn't expect anyone.''

''Is there something troubling you, Alexandra-chan?''

''I can't find a toothbrush,'' I cried.

''Don't worry, I will find one for you.'' And Sanji started searching in a certain crate.

''You think I'm crazy, don't you?'' I suddenly blurted out. ''I'm sure the others think so about me.''

''Crazy?''

''Crazy, nuts, bonkers, out of my mind, gestoord, kierewiet, take your pick.''

I heard no reaction from Sanji.

''Come on, I say weird and inappropriate things at the wrong time, my emotions jump in between extremes and can't handle chaos.''

''Alexandra-chan,'' said Sanji calmly. ''Everyone haves their own weak and strong points. You may act differently than others would do, but I've heard you saved Nami-swan and Vivi-chwan from that candle guy. O and that shitty swordsman too.''

Yep, Sanji got his priorities clear.

''Everybody haves their traits that makes them who they are,'' continued Sanji. ''Yours happen to be very expressive.''

''That is putting it mildly,'' I grumbled.

''I found one for you, Alexandra-chan.'' Sanji showed me a brand-new toothbrush.

''Thanks,'' I said as I took the toothbrush. ''O, if I'm needed for the night watch, just knock on my door. Okay?''

I returned to the bathroom. I'm glad that that there are some people nice to me, but I wonder if Sanji's only reason of his behaviour towards me the fact that I happen to have two X chromosomes.

With a sigh, I put toothpaste on the brush. I've never been picky when it comes to toothpaste, as long as it does its job. I'm just frustrated that I'm probably not getting along with everyone. Even if it sounds unrealistic.

''Die bacteria, die!'' I shouted in frustration as I brushed my teeth.

After the hygiene routine, that took longer than expected as I had trouble with the tampon, I went back to the anchor room. There, I made myself ready for the night. Because I didn't have a pyjama, I used a big grey T-shirt I found back in Little Garden. It was long enough to cover my underpants and the upper part of my legs. My glasses and Hayden were placed on the lid of the crate that was filled with my handbag and the clothes I wore today. With a bit of effort, I managed to get in the hammock. With the Brogy blanket covering me, I tried to get myself comfortable.

-GWTF-

Knock knock.

''Grwaaaaaaaah!''

Knock knock.

''Grwaaaaah!''

''Oi, wake up!''

''Wazzap?'' I yawned loudly as I stretched my arms.

''Are you awake yet?''

''Ik kom al. I mean, coming.'' I almost fell out of my hammock and stumbled to the door. I slightly opened it to see a blurry version of Usopp.

''Yo,'' I greeted.

''Could you take over the watch?'' the sniper asked.

''Sure,'' I said with a shiver as the cold outside air made its way into the room. '' 'till how long do I need to be there?''

''You got the last one, so until sunrise.''

'' 'kay, just need to make myself ready.''

I closed the door, removed the long T-shirt and put on my jeans, bra, a dark brown T-shirt and my glasses. I didn't bother doing my hair as I didn't want to make Usopp wait a long time to be relieved from the watch duty. Although I did automatically put on my leather bracelets on my right wrist. I made a detour to the bathroom to wash my face. The cold splash of water was an effective way to get more awake. I tried using the Geppo technique to get to the crow's nest quickly, but I failed halfway. Luckily I managed to grab the ropes and continued getting up by climbing.

It was cold, being so high up in the crow's nest. I put the Brogy blanket around me as I began to take in the sights. Everywhere I looked was sea. The sky was covered in stars and the moon shone (actually reflected the sunlight from space) brightly. I didn't recognise the constellations, but they looked beautiful. At home, I didn't have the chance to watch the clear skies. Where I used to live was too much light pollution. Even after moving to the countryside, I still didn't have the chance to watch the stars. But now I had all the time to watch the heavens above.

A comet was passing by and I smiled as I made my wish.

-GWTF-

Hours have been passing by as I watched the sky changing colours in the sunrise. A new day has begun. A simple thing as the rising sun is something people tend to take for granted. But here at the crow's nest I marvelled at the simple miracle of nature.

Just as I wanted to start singing Morning has Broken, I heard a voice from down below; ''Alexandra-chan! I'm going to make some early breakfast for you!''

Say what you want about Sanji, but he knows how to pamper a female.

I just got down to the main deck as I heard Sanji making an angry noise.

''What wrong?'' I asked as I poked my head in the door opening.

''The food is gone,'' growled Sanji.

''But how?''

''I have an idea,'' he said as he lighted a cigarette that made my nose curl.

I just sighed as I went back to the anchor room. If I remembered correctly, there were some fishing rods there. Maybe I could make myself useful. Of course I couldn't find any bait. I will try to do without then. So I went to the starboard side of Merry's main deck and casted the fishing rod.

In the background, I heard Sanji questioning Luffy about the disappeared food. Indicating from the slamming noise, our captain was indeed the culprit and got kicked against the wall. After that, I heard another clonking sound. Perhaps Luffy wasn't the only one who raided the food last night. But when did it all happen? I seriously hoped it wasn't during my watch, as that means that I basically failed in my duty.

''Come on fishy, fishy, fishy. Come to mama,'' I muttered as I sat on the railing.

-GWTF-

I don't know how long I was sitting there. My legs were getting cramped, I got bored and I finished plotting something as well. To make matters even worse, we were approaching a bunch of steam. It does explain the lack of fish as the water was probably too hot for them to live in. I approached Luffy and Usopp who were fishing at the port side of the ship as I heard Nami's explanation about underwater volcano's. At least that is still the same as in my own world.

Just as I was halfway on the deck, the Merry went into the steam cloud. Like everybody else I was coughing. And the smell! It was seriously reeking. Blinded by the steam, I tried to continue going in the direction Luffy and Usopp were. After all, there was something I was planning to do.

Just as Merry exited the steam, I heard some sounds of surprise from Luffy and Usopp. Like them, I looked at a guy who's face was plastered in makeup and held an as bait used Carue. The poor duck started crying. Not only his friends were using him to catch food, there was even a stranger attached to him.

''Oh no!'' yelled the guy in makeup. ''Why am I grabbing a spot-billed duck I only just met!?''

''A-A mermaid?'' wondered Luffy who looked straight at Usopp.

''Dunno,'' answered Usopp who was just as flabbergasted as Luffy was.

''There are wings on his back.'' I pointed at the dual swan ornaments on his clothes. ''Maybe someone from the sky?''

No way I'm telling about my knowledge at this point. I don't want Crocodile to be informed about that.

Just as I pondered this, our hairy legged visitor lost his grip and fell in the sea.

''Help me! PLEASE! I'm a Hammer and I can't swim-'' And just like the most known tool in the box, he sank into the depths.

I quickly removed my belt with my weapons, got Hayden out of the hiding place, removed my glasses and handed everything to Usopp.

''Please hold my stuff while I go for a swim,'' I said before I dove into the sea.

Thanks to the volcanic activity a little bit back, the sea wasn't as cold as I expected to be. But still it was colder than I would have liked. I silently thanked the old custom of my country to have the children learn how to swim during primary school. Sadly they stopped giving mandatory swimming lessons at school. Due to that, more cases of drowning have been reported. At least I was in the generation where every kid learned how to swim.

With effort, I managed to grab the man in the pink garb and got back to the surface. Somebody had thrown down a lifesaver with a rope attached to it. I quickly grabbed it and we got hauled up.

The first thing I did when I got on board was asking Usopp for my glasses. With my sight restored, I saw the soaked swam catching his breath.

''Oh… I thought it was all over,'' he panted.

He lifted up his face to say his thanks and the first thing I thought was that his makeup must be some serious good quality. Even after a swim, everything was still in place. Even though I don't use makeup, I was quite impressed.

''Oh, but I was wondering if I might have a bowl of warm soup?''

''WE DON'T HAVE ANY!'' we all shouted as we had temporally sharp teeth to enhance our emotion. How was I even capable of doing that? I should ask Kenya about that later.

''WE'RE STARVING TOO!'' added Zoro with a shark-like maw.

Then, Ballerina Slippers saw Vivi standing on the balcony.

''Oh my-! Well aren't you cuuute-! My little fruit, I just want to eat you up-!'' He threw a hand kiss-wink-combo at her.

Vivi was visibly disgusted and I just wondered why Sanji wasn't going in protection mode. Then I realised he was probably in the storage looking for food.

''You can't swim, huh?'' wondered Luffy.

''You're so right there,'' said the guy while wiggling strangely while seated. ''I ate a Devil's fruit.''

''Ah, which one?'' asked Usopp.

''Yes, well… I suppose there's no need to rush while I wait for my ship to come get me.'' He began to stand up. ''I might as well put on a show!''

He pulled back his right palm to strike.

''Prepare to witness my ability!''

It was that moment I stopped squeezing the water out of my hair and T-shirt to carry out my plan. I caught his palm with mine while shouting; ''High five buddy!''

The sheer force pushed me back and made me fall on my ass.

''That was a powerful palm attack. Did you eat the Paw Paw Fruit?'' I asked as I held a throbbing right hand in my left hand. Man this hurts like a bitch!

''Stop joking around!'' said the guy who've introduced my hand to pain as he patted my cheek. Then he touched his own cheek and I realised he now wore my face! The shape of my nose with slightly bigger than average nose holes, my blue/greyish eyes, my thick eyebrows that haven't been epilated once, my dark blonde hair, even my chin who's dent was more a bit on my left then on my right side of my face was copied.

''Surprise surprise!'' sounded my voice. Does my voice really sound that crappy?

''When I touch myself with my left hand…'' he did the motion he described and my face was replaced with his own. ''See! Back to normal-! This is the ability I gained from eating the Mane Mane no Mi! Or Copy Copy Fruit as some would call it!''

''His voice…'' muttered Nami.

''…and even his physique were the same!'' supplemented Usopp.

I was more surprised about the fact that both Japanese and English names were used for the Devil Fruits. Another thing to ask Kenya about.

The living copypasta was making his way to the other crewmembers as I stood up and faced him.

''Sorry buddy. But could you please copy only me? We are actually running an errant for a friend to surprise somebody.'' _''Surprise as in: Surprise crocofucker. We're here to stop your plans.''_ I thought. ''It would be a shame if someone found out if you show off our faces.''

''Aww, really?'' he pouted. ''But if you do it to help your friend, then I will listen to your wish.''

''Pinkie promise in the name of friendship?'' I asked as I held out the pinkie of my right hand.

''In the name of Friendship,'' he said with a smile as he interlocked his pinkie onto mine.

Operation Antipasti wasn't a complete success, but it went better than I thought while we did a handshake with meshed pinkies. At least I was the only one who got copied.

''Are there more things you can do? That face-thing was awesome!'' said Luffy as Usopp and Chopper were cheering along him.

''Very well!'' said the ballerina as he twirled around on his toes. ''I'm gonna show you something! My memory ability!''

I went to sit next to Chopper to have a better view on the occurring face-swaps. Some of those faces looked ridiculous. I actually enjoyed the show and was clapping and laughing with the youngest boys of the crew.

''So how was my performance? I don't usually show this to people.''

''It was great!'' we cheered. Then the we began to dance an improvised version of the can-can with Mr. Lipstick.

''So cool! So cool!'' we shouted during the dance.

Our entertainer added his own catchphrase by shouting; ''Stop joking around-! Stop joking around-!''

This bout of fun couldn't last forever, as the dance instructor saw his ship approaching. With the grace of a swan, he jumped onto the railing.

''My. The time has come for us to part,'' he said in a slightly more serious tone. ''How tragic.''

''DUWHEEEEEH!?'' we shouted.

''Please don't go!'' begged Usopp.

''Do not be sad!'' said the swan as he had his back turned to us. ''Journeys and partings go hand in hand. But, remember this: To true Friendship…'' he turned his head and wiped a tear from his eyes in a dramatic way and made a thumps up. '' how long you've known each other means nothing!''

''Don't cry for me!'' he shouted as he jumped to a colourful paddle ship with a pink sail that got next to Merry.

''WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN!'' shouted Luffy.

''MAY OUR FATES BE INTERTWINED LIKE OUR PINKIES!'' I added.

''Now, let's go men!'' my pinkie-partner ordered.

''Aye! Mr. 2, Bon Kurei-sama!''

3-2-1

''WHAT!? MR. 2!?''

Like the stylistic 2 on the main sail of the disappearing ship wasn't a giveaway.

''That was… Mr. 2, Bon Kurei!'' gasped Vivi in shock.

''You knew this, didn't you?'' yelled Nami at me.

''What?'' I said defensively. ''I couldn't say; ''Hey watch out! He's a member of Baroque Works!'' while he is nearby.''

''You could've let him drown,'' suggested Zoro.

''I wouldn't for two reasons. The first one is that he should stay alive for a future event I won't spoil. The other reason is that...'' My face got more serious. ''I believe that true strength isn't measured by the number of lives you take, but by the number of lives you save.''

''What about those dinosaurs you hunted?'' wondered Usopp.

''She hunted dinosaurs?!'' shrieked Chopper.

''I don't mind killing animals for food, as long as the suffering is minimalised.'' I said with a shrug.

''But to get back at the Bon situation,'' I continued. ''In the original story, everyone sans Vivi and Sanji would have their face copied. But now he got only my face and body to use as he pleases.''

I got some weirded stares aimed at my direction.

''I should have phrased that better,'' I said as I scratched the back of my head.

Vivi was trembling. ''Among those faces he showed from memory… My father's face was in his memory! The face of the King of Alabasta, Nefeltari Cobra…''

''If you could impersonate the King…'' spoke Zoro. ''…you could pull off some pretty nasty things.

''Was it really a good idea to let him leave?'' wondered Usopp.

''He was our enemy?'' realised Chopper.

''Not forever,'' I muttered.

''That doesn't change the fact that we have to face him sooner or later,'' said Nami. ''He could break his promise when he realises that we are enemies and copy our faces to impersonate us. We won't be able to trust our own nakama.''

''That may be the case,'' said Zoro. ''But now that we have seen how his power works, we can take countermeasures.''

I mirrored Zoro's grin as I had an idea what he was thinking about.

Just as I wanted to check whether or not my thoughts were right, Merry started shaking like crazy. The reason for that? A cat as big as a flat rose from the sea.

''That thing's HUGE!'' shouted Luffy.

''A Sea Cat!'' stated Vivi in shock.

''A SEA MONSTER!'' shrieked Chopper. He and Usopp jumped from being scared.

Zoro unsheathed his swords in fury as he reached the back of Merry. ''OUR FIRST MEAL FOR TODAY!''

''FOOD!'' yelled Luffy who went in the same direction.

''Our course is steady.'' Said Nami as she ignored what happened at the back of the ship. ''I wish we'd get there already.''

''FOOD,'' growled Luffy.

''I wonder what cat with satay sauce tastes like.'' I muttered as I stood between Luffy and Zoro. I've heard enough rumours about people eating that where I came from.

The cat was seemed to get disturbed and scared.

''Ah! It pulled back!'' realised Zoro.

''Reverse ship! Back! BACK!'' ordered Luffy.

''L-L-L-Like I can do that!'' stuttered Usopp.

''Don't let it get away!'' I heard from the stairs. ''Make sure you kill it!'' Wasn't that Sanji?

He quickly stood next to Luffy and me, ready to kick kitty litter. ''You'd better make some shitty good cooking, you monster cat!''

''NO!''

A fierce force from behind pushed me forwards with my head against the railing. At least, I wasn't the only victim.

''Vivi!'' yelled Luffy. ''You jerk, what the hell do you think you're doing?''

''W-Why? Vivi-chan…'' stammered Sanji.

''Peeheeople, help the peeheeople.'' I sang in a slightly higher voice than normal.

''You can't eat it!'' said Vivi with a stern voice. ''In Alabasta, Sea Cats are sacred creatures!''

''Why didn't you say so?'' asked Luffy.

''Remember kids,'' I said as I raised my finger while lying face-first on the deck. ''Respect each other's religions. There is way too much war in my world cause people don't do that.''

''There sure are a lot of thing in the ocean, huh?'' wondered Chopper.

''You still have a long way to go if _that_ scared you,'' said a trembling heap on the ground who quickly recovered. ''Yosh. How about I tell you of the time I fought off Sea Kings on the Calm Belt.''

''Sea Kings!?''

''The big kind. And there were _THIS_ many!'' Usopp spread his arms for added dramatic effect.

''My food got away…'' cried Luffy who was biting on the wood of the railing. I reminded me of a Dutch expression.

''Don't worry… You'll be able to eat all you want soon,'' reassured Vivi.

''REALLY!?'' shouted Luffy happily. And here I thought that I was a mood swinger. ''What kind of cat will it be this time!?''

''Vivi,'' said Nami who approached us. ''it looks like the wind and climate have begun to stabilize.''

''Yes, we've entered Alabasta's climate zone. The fact that a Sea Cat appeared is proof.''

''I'll bet those things behind us…'' said Zoro, ''…are even more proof that we're close to Alabasta.''

Far away, I saw ships approaching.

''Look at all those ships!'' said Luffy. ''When did they…?''

''Oi!'' Usopp was watching trough the binoculars of his goggles. ''They all have the Baroque Works mark on them!''

''And that calls themselves a secret organisation? Or do they think they are hiding in plain sight?'' I wondered.

''They have started to gather,'' explained Vivi. ''Those are probably the Billions. The subordinates of the Officer Agents.''

''200 of them will be tough…'' pondered Nami.

''Moreover, these 200 are Baroque Works' elite. They are on a different level from the bounty hunters at Whisky Peak.''

Usopp was busy aiming the cannon. ''Okay, let's open fire while we still have the chance! LET'S FHINISH 'EM OFF QUICK!''

''No, it's faster to just go over and kick their asses!'' shouted Luffy. His stomach made a big growl in disagreement. ''No wait, I need to eat first!''

''Idiots, don't worry about them!'' said Zoro with a grin. ''They're small fry.''

''Exactly,'' added Sanji who sat on the railing and lit a cigarette. ''If we lose sight of our true objective, that's it. There's only nine of us here.''

So instead of blindly leaping at the enemies behind us, we executed Zoro's plan. Said plan was the same as in canon and I felt honoured to be part of it. I looked proudly at the white cloth around my left arm. Does this mean they consider me as one of them? I stroked the cloth with my fingers. More than a month ago, this event was a part of fiction. But now, I'm in the middle of it. And everything is real.

''I can see the island!'' shouted Luffy.

''We're going to stop at a port called Nanohana,'' informed Vivi. ''We have to hide the ship.''

''Yosh! Whatever happens from now on…'' announced Luffy as he pointed his arm with white cloth around it forward. ''This left arm is…'' We all had our marked arms forward while standing in a circle. ''The mark of a nakama!''

Eep, this is so cool!

''Now, let's get on dry land! TO EAT! Oh, and Alabasta…''

''Sort out your priorities,'' we sighed at Luffy.

''We're going up against a group of assassins, Luffy,'' explained Nami to Luffy.

''Yeah, that's right.''

''So refrain from acting on instinct! Understood?''

''Yeah. I got it.''

I shook my head as I went back to the anchor room to make personal preparations. Inside, I retrieved my Australian hat. Luckily my clothes have dried up after my swim, but I smelled a bit salty. I grabbed my handbag and checked its contents: sunglasses, pocket knife, pencil and a bunch of empty paper notes, tampons (because I used all my sanitary towels and these things take less space in my bag), hand sanitizer, lip-gloss to protect my lips from the drought, my mobile phone with solar charger and a cable to connect these two, in ear headphones, my wristwatch that would stand out to much otherwise if I happened to wear it, deodorant, nail file and the Belly I found back at the abandoned ship. Before I went outside, I switched my glasses.

Donned with hat, sunglasses and a bulging handbag on my shoulder, I went to the bathroom to do the tampon thing. After being done with that, checking my weapons and Hayden and mentally prepared myself to enter a desert in sneakers (why didn't I wear my trekking shoes when I went shopping that day?), I could say I was ready for adventure.

''Listen everyone,'' announced Nami as I returned to the main deck. ''I'm only going to say this once. I expect you all to be in your best behaviour at all times.'' She sounded like a teacher at the beginning of a school trip. But with people like us, that would be necessary.

''Okay, Nami-san-!'' said Sanji with a wave and a goofy smile.

''The guy you have to worry about the most already took off,'' pointed Zoro out.

A, somebody jumped at the call of…

''FOOD!''

Yep, that disappearing dust cloud must be Luffy. You did your best Nami, but one does not simply tame Luffy.

''HEY HOLD IT!'' yelled Nami.

''He's completely inhuman,'' said Usopp.

''What will we do?'' wondered Vivi.

''Don't worry. Just go to the noisiest place you can find,'' said Sanji while he casually jumped off the ship to reach the land. ''That's where he'll be.''

''He's right, you know,'' realised Usopp.

''Jeez.'' Nami held her palm against her face. ''I wish he'd remember that he's got a bounty on his head. Especially in a country this big.''

''Just let him be,'' interrupted Zoro as he climbed down the rope ladder. ''He'll be fine. Let's just go eat. We'll think about stuff later.''

I jumped together with Chopper onto the land. Just before I would've hit the ground, I kicked the air a bit to slow down my fall. It looks like my landing-step technique works from a fall this high. If Geppo can be used to move in the air, then it could be used for safe landing as well. Seems like I was right about that. No more awkward landings on my ass anymore.

''Carue and I cannot accompany you,'' said Vivi from the deck.

Understandable, as she is pretty recognisable.

I heard Zoro agreeing with Vivi who stated the same.

''Don't worry,'' reassured Sanji with a smile. ''I'll pick up some food for you, Vivi-chan!''

Suddenly I heard Carue making alarmed sounds.

''Mr. 3's ship!'' said Vivi.

''That bastard,'' grumbled Usopp. ''Didn't we take care of him already?''

''I'm sure of it,'' confirmed Vivi. ''If I remember correctly, that ship moves by means of his Doru Doru no Mi's powers.''

''So he's here,'' said Sanji.

''That means trouble,'' added Zoro. ''We'll be recognized.''

''Urgh, I'm sure that guy want to kill me for destroying his…'' I did the finger quote gesture, ''…''art''. Thing is that I don't quite remember his whereabouts.''

''Don't worry,'' said Usopp. ''I've got a plan.''

-GWTF-

''They won't be able to tell where we are,'' assured Usopp. ''We'll be able to move without standing out.''

''I think we stand out even more…'' said Nami.

I agreed with Nami as Usopp's plan would have worked greatly if the intended targets would have been some oblivious children. But hiding underneath a cloth with a bunch of people and pretend to be invisible doesn't work in a city with average intelligent adults. The only crewmembers who were excluded in this plan were Sanji and Chopper as Mr. 3 had never seen them.

''Yosh!'' said Usopp. ''Everyone, the coast is clear!''

''We already took it off,'' grumbled Zoro.

''Looks like no one noticed us!'' continued Usopp.

''True that,'' I said. ''Nobody have seen us. But now we will be known as the Mysterious Moving Cloak of Nanohana.''

It looks like we were in the remains of an old house. Only the stone pieces of the outer wall were still standing.

''Vivi-chan, you'll be safe from prying eyes here for the time being,'' said Sanji who've lit a cigarette. I made sure I stood far away, which was near the opposite wall. I leaned with my back against the wall while Usopp stood next to me.

''Vivi-chan?''

''Huh? Yes? Yes, yes, what is it?''

''What's wrong?''

''I'm sorry. I was just thinking… At least, while I was looking at the city, everything still seemed to be fine. And though I can't truly be at ease… I think it can be saved,'' said Vivi quietly.

''You're right,'' agreed Nami. ''It seems like a peaceful city.''

''Hey, Vivi,'' asked Zoro. ''You said you had forces to suppress the rebellion, right?''

Vivi nodded.

''What's the next step? What do we have to do? If we can still save them, we have to take action soon.''

''Yes, that's true,'' said Vivi. ''But you only promised to take me as far as Alabasta and-''

Nami clonked Vivi on the forehead. ''Enough!'' she said. ''I can't believe you're still talking like that.''

''Nami-san.''

''We've sailed together all the way here. You think we're just gonna abandon you now?''

''She's right, Vivi,'' said Usopp. ''Don't get all distant on us now.''

''I believe we are friends, not a taxi service,'' I added.

''And I'm pretty interested in this Shichibukai,'' said Zoro.

''That's enough out of you!'' snapped Nami towards Zoro. She then turned back to Vivi who was covering her forehead.

''In any case, quit over-thinking this!''

''And of course, everyone except me is being hunted too.''

''Sanji-san.''

''That's how it is.''

''And if this country is crushed,'' said Nami with her face close to Vivi's. ''I won't get my fee for escorting you here. Understand?''

''Y-Yes…''

''Good, you understand!'' Nami's sounded a lot happier now. I was silently praying for every poor sap who happened to be indebted to Nami.

''You're going to Hell,'' groaned Zoro.

''Why thank you, Zoro. And I haven't forgotten your debt either.''

''Why, you…''

''I'll get it from you, even if I'm a ghost!''

''Argh, you bitch!''

''You'll pay me back precisely ฿400.000!''

''You raised it!''

''If you don't pay it back soon, it'll go up more!''

''Oi, Usopp, Alexandra… Could you..''

''Can't help you with that,'' said Usopp.

''Already praying for you, buddy,'' I added as I patted Zoro on the head. Judging from his face, he probably didn't like that. I'm not sure whether it was the praying, the head patting or both.

''Nami-san is in the right!'' said Sanji.

''WHAT!?''

O dear. That would be a starting sign for another brawl between the two.

''O and Alexandra.'' I heard Nami saying. ''How did you like the package I left in your room?''

''Package?'' I asked as I cocked my head.

''The package you need in this time of the month.''

I saw a grin appearing on Nami's face and realised I'm in trouble.

''Isn't that one shared among the female crewmembers?'' I tried.

''Nope, my own personal stash. You better pay me back soon.''

Shit! That package of tampons happened to belong to Nami.

''I-I-I will buy for you a new package. Okay? So please don't sue me,'' I pleaded as I was sweating bullets.

Vivi was watching all this happening. Somehow the whole situation about debts seemed to bring her a bit at ease.

''Northwest of this city lies the Yuba Oasis,'' she explained. ''That is the Rebels' base. I want to go there first and stop the rebellion. But to get to Yuba, we have to cross the desert. We have to arrange the necessary food and water here, but if Mr. 3 is in this city…''

''Oh, if that's all, it'll be fine,'' said Sanji as he pointed his thumb at himself. ''He's never seen my face.''

''That's right. Sanji-kun's never met that bunch,'' said Nami with a proud look on her face.

''And there's someone else too,'' pointed Zoro out.

''Of course, Chopper as well.''

''That's great. There'll be a lot to carry. I'm counting on you,'' said Sanji.

''Okay, got it!'' nodded Chopper.

''Oi, you gonna be alright?'' wondered Usopp.

''I'll be alright! I want to do what I can!''

You and me both Chopper. I wished I could change forms like Chopper just did as he stood on all fours.

''If I'm in this form, I won't have any problem, right?''

''Yosh!'' Usopp gave Chopper a thumbs up. ''You are truly a man… reindeer!''

''Then, please, if you would,'' asked Vivi.

''You can count on us!'' declared Sanji.

What we need most is supplies,'' explained Vivi. ''And I'd like you to get some clothes as well.''

''Clothes?''

''Clothes like the citizens wear, so we won't stand out.''

''And some perfume!''

''Yes, Nami-san!''

''Food and water.''

''Tabasco.''

''Forget it, you louts.''

''And a backpack for me please.''

''Yes, Alexandra-chan!''

''Food and water.''

''Tabasco.''

''Forget it, you louts.''

''In a camouflage pattern, or hot pink.''

''Food and water.''

''Tabasco.''

''But for now…'' wondered Nami as Sanji and Chopper walked away for shopping. ''That idiot. Just where is he and what the hell is he doing?''

O yeah, Luffy ran off somewhere. Crap, I had no idea where he could be. The only thing I could do now was to trust Luffy's luck. I sat down on the ground with my back against the wall. What was more going to happen in Alabasta? I remembered a meeting with Ace, traversing trough the desert with fillers, something with an dried-out old man, Luffy getting bitchslapped, Sanji's Mr. Prince act, Luffy's battles against Crocodile, Nami getting a stinger through her foot and a bomb in a clock tower.

I had the feeling I forgot something. Something very important. But I had no idea what. Is this how Nelville Longbottom felt like whenever that stone of his was glowing?

I could warn Vivi about the bomb in the clock tower in the capital city. But what if the information got somehow to the wrong person? I remembered that Baroque Works infiltrated both the rebellion and the Royal Guard. Chances that a mole could get the information are way too high.

I wished I could ask Kenya for some information about the Alabasta Arc, but contacting her right now would raise questions from the rest of the crew and I'm too tired and hungry to go through that at the moment. Walking to another place isn't an option either, as I had no idea where Mr. 3 could be. As much as I wanted to give him my piece of mind, my paranoid side told me I have no chance to defeat him at my current strength.

Talking about battling….

''Hey Nami,'' I suddenly asked.

''You aren't running off like Luffy, I hope?'' she asked.

''No, no.'' I waved with my hand. ''I'm just wondering whether or not you are armed for possible incoming battles.''

''Well, Usopp made something for me.''

''That's right,'' Usopp realised. ''I still haven't got the money.''

''You will get it later,'' Nami said.

''Did you happen to have an instruction manual?'' I asked Nami.

''Actually, I do.'' Nami got the manual from the her version of the place where I keep Hayden and began to unfold the paper.

Well, at least Nami got to read the instructions in a less stressful situation than in canon.

Still, there is much that could happen. And so little I could do now. Training would attract attention to us. So I need to do something in silence.

I sighed and rummaged in my handbag until I found my in ear headphones and my mobile phone. As my smartphone and my solar charger had enough energy in it, I could afford to use the phone. I plugged in the headphones and started looking for some music. After finding some energetic sounds to cheer me up, I leaned back against the cool stones and closed my eyes as I let the music flow into my ears.

''What do you have there?'' wondered Usopp who sat next to me.

I gestured to him to get closer and popped a plug in his ear. His mouth fell wide open.

''What the hell is that?!''

''Music?''

''That thing got sounds in it?''

''Yep.'' I made sure to pop the ''p''.

He sat next to me with the plug still in his ear.

''I've never heard instruments like that,'' said Usopp.

''A those.'' I couldn't help but chuckle. ''Those are bagpipes. A traditional instrument from a country in my world. They sound pretty good in modern music too. Although I have to admit that a few people like them.''

''What kind of music do you have on that thing?''

''Mostly rock, pop and folk. But I also have classical music.''

Judging from his expression, Usopp had no idea what I meant. So I gave him some examples to listen.

In the time we were waiting for Sanji's and Chopper's return we basically did the following: Zoro took a nap, Nami was reading the instructions of her new weapon, Vivi got lost in her thoughts, Carue was staring in the distance and I introduced Usopp to Queen, Michael Jackson, Abba, Imagine Dragons, the Script, Ed Sheeran, Red Hot Chili Pipers, Enya, Mozart, Vivaldi, Disney Songs and many others.

-GWTF-

''I feel… exposed.''

That was basically the first thing I blurted out as I looked at my new outfit. How could I have forgotten that Sanji would buy us dancer outfits? Sure, it would great at a costumed party, but don't expect me to go through a desert in this attire. Too impractical and too revealing. There are sandstorms out there for goodness sake. And if those don't appear, the sunburns would get me. My skin didn't look as white as it used to be, thanks to living in Little Garden, but having no sunblock means I will get toasted.

Vivi tried to explain to Sanji that our clothes aren't suitable for desert trekking, but her words didn't seem to reach a reasonable part of Sanji's brain.

O. I should mention the fact that I didn't like Sanji's fawning over Vivi, Nami and me. That ero-cook just made us his own eye candy. And that pissed me a bit off.

''Oi, tobacco-perv. How did you find my size anyway?'' I asked as I gave him an aggressive poke in the chest. ''Don't tell me that you have been measuring me in my sleep.''

''That isn't necessary, Alexandra-chan.'' Sanji moved around like a freaking noodle. How does that even work? ''Just one good gaze is enough for me. For example, your sizes are B90, W84 and H92. You are 1,76 meters long and your weight is around 70 kilograms.''

Wait what?

My mouth somehow met the ground as I stared dumb folded at Sanji. How was knowing shit like this even possible? Perhaps this is how the crew feels about me when I reveal something.

In almost robotic movement, I made my way to a sack filled with food and grabbed a bunch of meat to eat it. Screw this noise, I'm too hungry for this shit. Thirsty too. I'm so glad they bought water.

I wiped my mouth on my naked right arm and let loose a burp. I may look like an exotic princes with my apple green halter top, pale green shroud, white long skirt with light green details, hair in a ponytail and gold-looking jewellery, I'm still a tomboy at heart. Although I had to admit that I like the earrings, necklace and the bracelet on my right wrist that replaced my leather bracelets with Celtic patterns. They were simple, but had a nice sheen. Guess my parents haven't called me ''magpie'' for nothing.

The other thing that Sanji bought for me and I actually liked was an averagely sized backpack in a pink camouflage pattern. It was big enough to contain my handbag, clothes I wore before dressing like I was looking for a date and an additional water bottle that was filled to the brim.

Okay, maybe I didn't look like I was looking for a date and more for a criminal, as I still got a belt around my waist that held my weapons. So maybe I looked like a female bounty hunter.

''Anyway, that means we've got all the stuff we need to get on with our original goal, right?'' I heard Usopp asking

''Yes,'' answered Vivi.

''You said Yuba was where we're headed next, right?'' asked Nami.

''Yes, that's right,'' said Vivi. ''But to get there we have to cross the desert. It may prove a more formidable journey than any of you can imagine. You can never be sure of what will happen. One wrong step, and nothing can guarantee your life out on that land of scorching heat. I still have worries about taking everyone through such a place, but I want to restore peace to this land.

So.

So I would like to make another request.

Everyone! Please lend me all of your strength!

Please…!''

''You finally said it,'' pointed Nami out. She gave Vivi a thumbs-up and a wink. ''We've been waiting for that.''

''Not knowing what's gonna happen next is just like sailing the sea, eh Vivi-chan?'' reassured Sanji.

''Yeah, nothing like we haven't dealt with before,'' added Zoro as he put his swords in his haramaki.

''This is my chance to prove that I'm more than some nuthouse,'' I said with a grin. ''Let's do this!''

''I'm looking forward to seeing the desert.''

''Quack…''

''Alright, guys!'' announced Usopp. ''Raise your spirits, we're heading to Yuba!''

We all raised our arms with the white cloth around it as we said in unison; ''Aye!''

''Everyone…'' whispered Vivi.

''Aren't we missing someone?'' wondered Usopp.

''LUFFY!'' we realised.

Nami facepalmed. ''That numbskull!''

-GWTF-

So we decided to split in two groups. Vivi, Carue and Sanji stayed near the ruined building with the shopping stash while the rest went to look for Luffy. As we were walking through the streets, I realised I didn't like my new shoes. How can I travel through the desert in high-heeled wedges shoes? The heels were too high for me and my toes were exposed. I'll switching them for my sneakers before we go into the wild.

I adjusted the straps of my backpack a bit. I didn't want to leave my personal stuff behind, so I wore the pink camouflage-patterned backpack that was filled with it on my back. It doesn't feel like an adventure without a pack. Even if it looks strange.

My sunglasses look out of the place too. But they do a better job at protecting my eyes against the sunlight than my regular glasses do, so I kept on wearing it. At least I'm probably don't get recognised by enemies.

The city itself had an exotic atmosphere. It almost felt like I was in the world depicted by the Disney movie Aladdin.

''A golden apple!?''

''Live for a thousand years!?''

Which includes merchants trying to sell people crap.

I approached an old guy with a ''golden'' apple who was trying to sell it to a human-shaped Chopper and Usopp.

''Come on boys,'' I said as I put my hands on their shoulders. ''That merchant is lying his pants off.''

Said merchant didn't look happy as I realised he was wearing a robe. Which means he didn't even wear pants.

''Doesn't anybody know that eating a Golden Apple completely fills your belly and amply enlarges your belly when you are full?''

''Really!?'' asked Usopp.

''That's amazing!'' yelled Chopper.

I aimed my gaze at the merchant. ''Sadly, our dear sir has no idea of the true capabilities of the Golden Apple. Which means…'' I pointed at the merchant. ''He is a sham!''

''None of your crazy talk is needed to figure that out,'' said Zoro as he removed a curtain to reveal a man who was busy painting an apple with gold coloured paint.

I sported a big grin. ''Busted.''

''I see you are having fun,'' said Nami. ''But don't forget that we are looking for Luffy. We're done shopping, so we can leave for the next town as soon as we find him.''

''Come on.'' I gestured a visibly disappointed Chopper and Usopp to continue walking with the others.

''Speaking of which, I wonder where the hell Luffy ran off to,'' said Zoro.

''Probably to a restaurant,'' I said as I brought the two boys along. ''I will eat my foldable hat if he isn't going to dine-and-dash somewhere.''

Then Zoro noticed someone with a big tattoo on his back. The bare-chested person with a nice hat was talking to an old woman about Luffy's possible whereabouts.

We saw the person walking away from us while Zoro got a wary look on his face.

''Who was that?'' wondered Chopper. ''He looks really, really strong.''

''And why is he looking for Luffy?'' added Usopp.

''A bounty hunter?'' asked Nami.

''No. he's not,'' answered Zoro. ''That mark…''

''Huh?''

''As a former pirate hunter, I can never forget that mark.''

''Everyone with a mark like that belongs to Whitebeard's crew,'' I said. ''Also,'' I raised my finger. ''never harm anyone of Whitebeard's, or he will go papa wolf on you. And you don't want Whitebeard going papa wolf on you.''

The others gulped as they probably saw from my face that I wasn't joking around. Except for Zoro, who was hiding behind a huge vase for some reason.

We were basically wondering why Zoro behaved so uncharacteristic as we saw Tashigi and Smoker. Those were the names I heard from the two people who were talking.

''Wasn't he the Marine Captain in Loguetown?'' whispered Nami.

''That means…!'' Usopp quickly held his hand in front of his mouth as he realised that he talked loudly. ''Could it be that he chased after us all the way from Loguetown?''

''Looks that way.'' Said Zoro with a tired expression. ''And then there's that other guy we saw. This is gonna get nasty.'' He raised his head a bit. ''Where the hell is that idiot?''

''Don't worry about the Whitebeard crewmember,'' I reassured. ''He isn't an enemy.''

''Still, we need to warn the others about the Marines being here,'' said Zoro.

''Nami, Usopp, Chopper and I nodded and we made our way back to the place Vivi, Carue and Sanji were.

My feet were starting to hurt. I'm seriously going to switch shoes when I get the chance.

''Oi, oi, there's bad news,'' said Usopp as we regrouped. ''We have to leave right away, this place has bad vibes.''

''Bad vibes?'' wondered Sanji.

''The Marines are here,'' explained Nami.

''The Marines!?'' asked Vivi.

''Let's find Luffy as fast as we can and get out of this town,'' continued Nami.

''Hey, get down!'' warned Zoro as he pushed us to the walls.

''What?''

''What's going on?''

As we hid behind the stone walls, we could hear the sounds of yelling man from far away.

''Marines,'' said Zoro.

''They're making a lot of noise over something,'' whispered Usopp.

''It's probably just some dumbass pirate running all over the place,'' said Sanji bluntly.

''Dumbass pirate!?'' we all realised. Even Carue was quacking among us.

Just as we said that, we heard Luffy's voice and the Marines running behind him.

''Halt, Straw Hat!''

Well that removes all the possible doubt about Luffy's whereabouts.

''IT'S YOU!?''

''Yo, Zoro!''

What does Luffy think he is doing?

''Whoa, everyone's over there!''

''IDIOT!'' yelled Zoro. ''Don't come here until you've lost them!''

''Hey, what should we do?'' asked Usopp.

''Our only option is to run,'' said Nami as she was grabbing a bag.

''We have to all get to the ship,'' added Vivi.

''What's taking you so long? Let's get going!'' asked Luffy as he passed us during his run from the Marines.

''YOU MORON!'' we yelled as we grabbed everything before running after him.

Ever been running away while carrying a backpack and a sack with food while wearing high-heeled wedged shoes? I can tell it sucks. As I'm not used to high heels, I was getting afraid that I would lag behind. Things were even getting worse as Smoker himself showed up and yelled something about a white blower. Knowing that possibly an attack was on our way, I tried to increase my speed.

Bad idea, as I felt pain above my left foot and fell down. Of all the moments, this would be the worst to sprain an ankle.

''KAGEROU!''

As I was trying to ease the pain in my ankle so I could go running again, I felt a heat wave behind me. I looked in the direction of the source and saw the bare tattooed back of the person we saw earlier. Said person had just send a flurry of flames in the direction of the Marines!

Just like the other Straw Hats, I could only stare and gape at what happened.

''You may be smoke, but I am fire. With our Abilities, a fight would be pointless,'' said the person who just saved my life. For a moment, I thought I saw a silhouette next to him. But after I blinked it was gone.

''That guy has a Devil Fruit Ability?'' wondered Zoro.

''Who the hell is he?'' asked Usopp. ''Why is he helping us?''

''Ace!'' gasped Luffy.

''You never change, Luffy,'' said Ace.

''Ace… it's Ace! You ate a Devil Fruit?''

''Yeah, the Mera Mera no Mi,'' answered Ace.

''Toldya not to worry about him guys,'' I said as I winched in pain. It was hard to stand on my feet as my ankle didn't want to cooperate.

''Anyway, we can't talk like this!'' said Ace as more Marines gathered to arrest us. ''I'll catch up later! You guys run for it! I'll keep these guys busy!''

Walking was already a problem. How could I even run right now?

''Go!''

''Let's go!'' yelled Luffy as he hoisted me and my load over his right shoulder while also carrying a barrel underneath his left arm. How strong is my captain actually?

''But Luffy,'' asked Nami as everyone was running.

''Who the hell is that?'' asked Sanji. ''And why are you carrying Alexandra-chan?'' he added.

Luffy chuckled as I had the most bumpy ride since that off-road jeep ride during my school trip in Portugal. ''He's my brother!''

From my vantage point, I had a clear view on the surprised faces of my nakama.

''BROTHER!?''

Ehe, I'm glad I didn't told them that, or I would have missed those expressions.

As the group ran through the streets, I could hear the citizens talk in astonishment; ''W-What's that?'' ''A fire!?'' ''No, that's no ordinary fire!''

I stared with open mouth at the columns of fire and smoke that swirled and spiralled in each other.

''What do you think is happening?'' asked Chopper in his reindeer form as everyone stopped to watch.

''A battle between fire and smoke?'' wondered Usopp.

''He said he ate the Mera Mera no Mi,'' explained Sanji.

''But Luffy, is that true?'' asked Nami. ''Is that guy really your brother?''

''Yeah! He's Ace!''

''I can confirm,'' I said form my awkward position. If it weren't for my throbbing ankle, I would've been standing as well.

''Well I'm not surprised you have a brother. But what is he doing on the Grand Line?'' asked Zoro.

''Ace is a pirate,'' answered Luffy with pride. ''He left our island three years before me to become a great and powerful pirate.''

Again, surprised faces.

A-Anyway, let's hurry back to the ship,'' advised Nami. ''We should get out of here before they come after us.''

''Right, Nami-san!''

So we ran again. Well, Luffy was running backwards to watch the Logia spectacle and I was still slung over his shoulder. If it happened to be New Year, my New Year's resolution would be to NOT become a damsel in distress. Stupid high-heeled wedges.

And due to my pondering, I missed the moment the group went to the left. I facepalmed.

''Awesome! The pillar just keeps getting bigger!'' shouted Luffy.

''Oi, Luffy. We've just split up.''

''We will see Ace soon!''

''That's not what I meant!'' Temporally fangs appeared on my face.

''What is it then?''

''The rest of the crew went the other way!''

''We will find them.'' Luffy turned around a few times, trying to face me. Then he turned his head in my direction in a way only owls and rubber people can to flash a grin.

''Just go back where we came from until we see an intersection between two big roads.''

''Where did we come from?''

''Just go back to the pillar of fire and smoke!''

''Pillar is gone.''

''What?''

''We're lost. Isn't that a great adventure? Shishishishi.''

Great, just great. We got separated from the crew, I'm degraded to dead weight due to my sprained ankle, the Marines are after us, Baroque Works is roaming around and we got lost in a city I don't know that well.

Just another day with the Strawhats.

-GWTF-

AN: Ever had the feeling that you wrote a lengthy good chunk and realised the next morning it is just ''meh''? Well, I had that several times while writing this chapter. I actually wanted to post this chapter on the once-in-two-weeks-schedule, but Christmas-preparation-stress, a power failure and internet outages threw a wrench in those plans.

As for the Belly symbol, I used the symbol for the Thai currency Baht, as that comes the closest to the Belly symbol.

Review corner:

gamelover41592: Thank you for your kind words. As in remembering events: there are things she does remember and things she doesn't, as she had seen the episode years ago. The further we go in-story, the more details she will remember.

BlackDove WhiteDove: I'm glad I made you happy ^^

loop2: Hm, I understand where that is coming from. The thing is that she wants to be honest about her otherworldly stuff and just getting it off her chest.

I actually laughed when I saw your question about Alexandra's three sizes xD Is this how Oda felt like when someone asked about Nami's three sizes in the SBS? And just like in the SBS, Sanji reveals her sizes xD

431101134: Thank you very much for your kind words ^^


	6. Amazing blaze

**6\. Amazing blaze**

I wasn't in my highest spirits at this moment as I tried to switch shoes. While removing the wedges wasn't a problem, getting my sneaker on my left foot was a challenge. My ankle was getting pretty swollen so there was no space for my shoe.

''Fuck it all!'' I grumbled as I put my sneakers back in my backpack. The only option I got was to go barefoot until I got medical aid from Chopper.

Luffy was just standing near the barrel where I sat on. It must have been a weird sight, two people and a barrel in the middle of an abandoned street.

''Do you want some meat?'' he asked as he rummaged through the sack I was carrying.

''Not now,'' I said. ''I got to cool my ankle somehow and get it bandaged.'' I was seriously getting tempted to open the barrel and put my foot in it.

''Whoa, that looks really weird.''

Luffy was poking the swelling as he was munching on some meat.

''That hurts man!'' I snatched the sack from Luffy's hand. ''And don't eat all the food!''

''Jeez, you don't look like you're even _trying_ to escape.''

We both looked up to see…

''Ace!''

The young man jumped down from a roof and stood in front of us.

Now that I got a good look on him and his bare chest, I realised that Luffy's brother looked hot. Not sure whether the pun was intended or not.

''Long time no see, Luffy,''

''Same to you, Ace.''

Ace then aimed his gaze at me and I realised I was gaping at him with open mouth.

''I hope my little brother isn't too much of a burden.'' He gave a bow.

Give that guy a medal for the World Most Polite Pirate.

''Ehe, things could be worse.'' I thought about the fact I got bitten by Kestia. ''If it wasn't for him, I would have been dead.''

I carefully stepped from the barrel. Standing on the sandy ground didn't feel that bad. I do have calluses underneath my feet, so that was a plus. Sadly, I was still wobbly and had to shift my weight to my right leg.

''May I ask what happened to you?'' said Ace.

''Sprained my ankle,'' I muttered.

Ace burned a hole in the higher part of the barrel until water began to stream out of it. He held the barrel in both his hands as he let the stream of water flow over my ankle.

''B-But we need that water in the desert,'' I protested as the lukewarm water seemed to put my aggravated ankle a bit at rest.

Ace lifted his left eyebrow.

''So you prefer to leave yourself this way?''

''No, I prefer the crew's survival above my own,'' I sighed.

''Don't say that, Sandra!'' snapped Luffy. ''You are in my crew and I let nobody of my crew die!''

I was honestly surprised at my captain's outburst. I'm just a non-canon addition and not even that familiar with naval travel.

''Did you just say Saundra, Luffy?'' asked Ace surprised.

I had no idea what was going on here. Did Ace mishear Luffy? What was wrong with a name that sounds like Saundra anyway?

''Actually its Alexandra. Victoria Alexandra,'' I told Ace.

He seemed to calm down a bit, but he was still looking at me. His stare made me feel uncomfortable. Stupid dancer outfit.

I didn't remember the reunion between the two brother by heart, but I'm sure it wasn't supposed to go like this. Maybe I could lighten the mood a bit with some good news.

''Hey guys, Sabo is alive!'' I blurted out.

''Why wouldn't he?'' wondered Luffy as he was digging in his nasal cave with his pinkie.

''Is this a joke?'' wondered Ace.

''W-Well,'' I said as I pointed at Ace's tattooed arm. ''The S on your arm is crossed out as a tribute to Sabo who was shot down by a world noble when he tried to escape his family that locked him up after they captured him with help of some blue jam dude and he just wanted to be free like you guys but instead of being killed Sabo got saved by some peeps from the revolutionary army but got memory loss and only remembered that he wanted to be far away from his family his blood related ones and he hasn't contacted you because I doesn't know a thing about growing up with you guys so we should find a way to jog his memory and-''

''What!''

I stepped back as I saw fire growing from Ace his back.

''What is the meaning of this!?'' he spat as there were more flames emerging from his body.

Nonononono. I don't want to feel Ace's wrath. How many Self-inserts suffered from it in the fanfics I've read? I don't want to end up with two handprints burned on my body.

I fell on my knees and curled up in a shivering ball as I remembered the pain I went through when I had set myself on fire to destroy Mr. 3's candle thing.

''Pleasedontburnme pleasedontburnme pleasedontburnme…''

''I… I'm sorry…''

Huh?

I opened my eyes and saw that the fire was gone. Instead Ace looked shocked?

''Ace…'' said Luffy.

What the fuck was going on here?

''She is from another world.''

''Luffy,'' I wailed. ''I said it was a secret.''

''Ace is my brother. We can trust him.''

''Just don't say it without asking me,'' I yelled.

''It wasn't like he wouldn't think you are.''

Why does Luffy sound so logical at times? is he smarter then he shows?

''So she is another one,'' muttered Ace as he looked like he saw a ghost.

Wait, what does Ace know?

''Luffy, do you know what she is?''

''A Mystery Person,'' said Luffy. ''From a Mystery Club.''

What!? Luffy knows about the SANCC?

''I never told anybody anything about a mystery club!'' I shrieked.

''Sabo did,'' explained Luffy. ''He told me about a Mystery Club and that I would meet a Mystery Person someday when we were in Loguetown.''

What the fuck is going on here? Does that mean that Sabo knows about his brothers? How did he show up and when did he even get the chance to tell Luffy about this?

''How is Sabo doing?'' wondered Ace. ''He must be really busy.''

''He's doing great!'' beamed Luffy. However, his expression soured a bit afterwards. ''But that face tattoo-ossan only gave us a few minutes to talk.''

EHHHHHHHHHHHHH!?

''Good to hear that Sabo is okay.'' Ace looked at me again and sighed. ''There aren't many people like you in the world,'' he told me with a serious look on his face. ''Otherworlders, Oracles, Detectors. Those are a few of the names I've heard. It's said their knowledge is as dangerous that of the Demons of Ohara were.

I just sat with my ass on the ground, trying to comprehend my current situation.

''Let's find the rest of your crew already, Luffy,'' said Ace. ''Can you walk?'' he asked me.

''I-I think so,'' I said a I got on my feet in a daze. I seriously had no idea what was going on in this world anymore. Perhaps it would be better if I just listen for a while as opposed to talking.

Ace removed his boots and handed them to me. ''Take these. They are probably too big, but there will be enough space for your ankle.''

''What about you?'' I muttered.

''I will be fine,'' said Ace. ''You should worry more about yourself.''

''Nobody will get the meat!'' declared Luffy with a triumphal look on his face. In his hand was an empty sack.

''You ate everything!?'' I shrieked.

''That's Luffy,'' said Ace with a smile as he carefully lifted the barrel.

''Let's go!'' shouted Luffy and we started to walk down the narrow street.

Ace's boots were indeed too big for me, but it beats walking without anything on my feet. I wanted to ask Ace and Luffy about what they know, but that was a subject that should be spoken about in private. Perhaps it is better if we don't speak about it for now. I first need to comprehend the fact that things might have gone differently than in the original series. But wouldn't that make my knowledge about the plot partly unusable? As I was trying to think and walk at the same time, Ace was talking with Luffy about a much lighter subject.

''Anyway, let's find your nakama. If the Marines catch up with them, it'll get pretty troublesome,'' said Ace.

''Maybe they've gone back to the ship,'' pondered Luffy.

Nah, I'm _sure_ they went back to Merry.

''Which harbour did you anchor in?''

''Y'know, I have absolutely no idea.''

''Hey now. If you're the captain of a pirate ship, remembering where you docked is a given, normally.''

''We are actually docked on the sandy coast nearby to avoid our enemies,'' I explained.

''Yeah, there was a lot of sand,'' added Luffy.

I mentally stopped myself from facepalming. Well, at least I managed to get back in Luffy's crazy flow. I could be annoying at times. But hanging around him and the crew feels much better then angsting about how I have to fit in everything.

''By the way, those nakama of yours, what kind of people are they?'' asked Ace.

Luffy was counting on his fingers.

''A swordsman who want to be the greatest in the world. He always wears a haramaki.

Our navigator likes maps, mikan and money.

And we got a cook that makes super-delicious food.

Oh yeah, we have a liar too.

Sandra who lived with two Giant-ossans.

And… a reindeer!''

''A pretty nice variety you've got there.''

If Ace only knew what kind of people would join the crew in the future…

''Right now, we have a princess and a spot-billed duck as nakama, too,'' added Luffy. ''They're all really funny!''

''Well, I bet you're the funniest one of all.''

Aw, that's sweet.

''However,'' continued Ace. ''It's just like you to run a small pirate crew.''

''All we need now is a musician,'' said Luffy smiling. ''Hey Sandra, be our musician.''

''Luffy,'' I said with a sigh. ''The fact that I can sing doesn't make me a musician. I can't even play an instrument.''

''Stop right there, Fire Fist Ace,'' said a guy with a gun who emerged from a side-street. From all sides people showed up with guns or swords.

''As you can see, there is nowhere to run,'' announced a guy with a crescent-shaped brow. He stood before us with a smug look on his face. ''Fire Fist Ace, your head is ours. Prepare to die!''

My body tensed as I scanned my surroundings. In the corner of my eye, I saw the people getting ready to attack.

''Hey, you don't suppose… is this other guy… Straw Hat Luffy?''

''Now that you mention it… the ฿30.000.000 bounty!''

''And there is a chick as a bonus!''

''We're freakin' lucky today!'' said moonbrow. ''Fire Fist Ace _and_ Straw Hat Luffy! When we have your heads, we'll be promoted three times over!''

Works in a group? Check.

No name? Check.

Smug behaviour? Check.

Talking about promotion? Check.

Anyway, let's go find your ship,'' said Ace to Luffy. ''Shall we look at the beach?''

''Sure.''

''Oi, wait for me!''

Getting ignored like they are nothing? Check.

''Hey! You three!''

''Hold it!''

''Making fools of us…!'' growled moonbrow. ''KILL THEM!''

''AYE!''

I had to admit that I was pretty scared when Luffy and Ace passed the moonbrow, but after the order to kill was issued, I got in the fighting mind-set.

The two brothers began with tripping and dodging their opponents, but I grabbed Hokey and Pokey and began with stabbing and slashing. Perhaps those guys who challenged us didn't paid enough attention to me as they looked surprised when I stabbed one guy in the shoulder and slashed his belt. Having a bleeding shoulder, his pants on his heels and underwear with a kitten print exposed, he quickly retreated.

''His arms stretched out!'' I heard from somewhere.

They didn't even know about Luffy's Ability? I snorted as my left knee introduced herself to somebody's crotch.

''You bitch!'' yelped the owner of said crotch with a high pitched voice.

''Gotcha!''

I froze as I felt a cold metallic barrel at the side of my head.

''Gotcha!'' A fire-cloaked fist landed with a clonk on the head of the gunner.

''You got some fight in you,'' complimented Ace. ''Although you don't seem to be an expert on knives,'' he added afterwards.

''If it weren't for the narrow space, I would have used my main weapon,'' I huffed. ''Besides, I'm not aiming for the kill.''

Just as I said that, moonbrow ran with a roar toward Luffy. Ace stuck out his leg and tripped the man.

''Gomu Gomu no!'' Luffy's arms stretched out backwards and I made sure to keep out of the way.

''Bazooka!'' Luffy's hands returned in our direction, struck moonbrow's face and launched the man out of town.

Luffy and Ace then turned their back at the shocked enemies and continued walking. I joined them, but not before I did an I'm-watching-you-gesture with my knives and sheathed them.

Casual and humiliating beatdown? Check.

Those guys were definitely mooks.

I heard some yelling from behind, but Luffy and Ace didn't seem to react. That doesn't mean I was completely relaxed.

''Ah, the ocean!'' said Luffy.

''See your ship?'' asked Ace as we approached the stone stairs near the beach.

Both Luffy and I were scanning the shoreline as the mooks emerged for round two.

''You won't escape!''

''You guys don't know when to quit,'' sighed Ace.

''Ah, it's over there!'' Luffy pointed at a place in the sea and I saw indeed Merry over there.

''Oi, we're over here! Guys!'' waved Luffy.

He grabbed my arm and jumped off the stairs with me in tow.

''Can you please warn me next time?'' I asked.

''Sorry.''

Luffy wrapped his left arm around me and my backpack.

''Warning,'' he said with a grin.

Before I knew what was going on, Luffy launched his stretchy right arm in the direction of Merry.

''Luffy, don't tell me you are going to lauuuuuuuuuuuu!''

Suffice to say, we were soaring through the air and landed on the Merry with an heavy thunk.

The first things that I registered was Sanji lying on his back underneath me and that my vision was partly blocked by tiny versions of Carue that swarmed in front of my eyes.

''Alexandra-chan! Are you okay?''

''Why do we have to fly, Gandalf?'' I muttered.

''Bastard!'' yelled Sanji at Luffy. ''Don't you know your own strength!? What if something happened to Alexandra-chan? I oughta throw you overboard!''

''He's right!'' said Nami. ''Do you know how much trouble you've caused us? Act a little more like a captain.''

''I'm sorry everyone,'' I said as I managed to get out of Sanji's grip to stand on my own. ''I failed in captainsitting.''

''What happened to you?'' asked Usopp.

''Sprained my ankle, Luffy carried me around,'' I rummaged in my bag until I found the high heel wedges and put them on the deck. ''Took off these two, met Ace and got his boots.''

''Ace?''

''Luffy's brother was with you?''

I removed Ace's boots from my feet to take a look at my ankle.

''Yeah, we fought off some Baroque Works mooks,'' I said as I casually cleaned up the blood on Pokey's blade with the veil I wore.

As I sheathed a cleaned Pokey, I rested my head against the railing. It was truly a busy morning. As I closed my eyes, I didn't notice Chopper bandaging my ankle until he was done.

''If you don't put too much pressure on it, your ankle will be fine in a few hours.''

''Thanks Chopper,'' I said with a smile.

''I don't need your gratitude, bitch!''

I couldn't help but laugh. And it just happened to be the moment that Luffy was laughing as well. Although he did for another reason.

''And just who can you beat?'' shouted Ace as he landed on the railing.

''Oh, Ace!'' said Luffy. ''These are the nakama I was telling you about.''

''Oh, why hello everyone.'' Ace bowed to the crew while still squatting on the railing. ''I trust my little brother has been in your care.''

''Yes, he has,'' we answered and bowed back.

''He has no manner, so he'll probably end up burning your hands a few times,'' said Ace with a smile.

''Yes, he has,'' we responded.

''I'll entrust him to you.''

''For now, you've probably got some small talk to share,'' said Sanji as he held an unlit cigarette between his fingers. ''Wanna come inside? I'll make some tea.''

''Oh no, don't worry about it. But I appreciate your consideration,'' answered Ace as he let himself on the deck and put down the water barrel he was carrying. With his finger he touched Sanji's cigarette and lit it.

''T-This is totally unexpected,'' muttered Sanji.

''Thanks for letting me borrow your boots,'' I said to Ace as I handed them over.

''No problem at all. I hope your ankle will be better soon,'' answered Ace before he put on his boots.

''I thought the guy Luffy described would be some selfish, arrogant jerk…'' said Usopp.

''It's a lie. Someone this polite can't be Luffy's brother,'' responded Nami.

''He's such a better person than his brother!'' admitted Zoro.

''Brotherhood is a wonderful thing!'' cried Chopper.

''It doesn't make sense. The sea's a mysterious place,'' said Sanji.

''Now, now, everyone…'' And Vivi just tried to keep things polite.

''See? Don't they crack you up?'' asked Luffy with a wide grin.

It was that moment, Zoro noticed something.

''Baroque Works,'' said Vivi as a complete fleet of mooks approached us. ''That's the Billions' fleet!'

''Fire Fist Ace and Straw Hat Luffy!'' yelled one of them from far away. ''Don't think you can escape!''

''We'll show you the power of the Baroque Works Billions!''

''Them again?'' wondered Luffy.

''Luffy,'' said Ace with a serious expression. ''I'll clean them up.''

As Ace jumped to his tiny boat, I rummaged in my bag to get my smartphone. When I finally managed to open the application for recording, Ace was already near the first enemy ship.

''He jumped!'' Nami called out while I began filming. I couldn't count the number of flips Ace did in the air as he was cloaked in flames.

Both Ace and his flame-powered boat reached the other side of the big row of ships and made himself ready for attack. He threw a pillar of flames from his fist while calling out the name of his attack; ''HIKEN!''

Ship after ship caught on fire and got destroyed by the sheer force of the attack.

With a still burning finger and a grin, Ace lifted the brim of his hat.

We were gasping for breath as we witnessed Ace's power.

''Whoohoo!'' giggled Luffy.

Usopp stood there with an open mouth. ''WOW!''

''Filmed it! I flipping filmed it!'' I said with an grin as I locked my smartphone.

-GWTF-

As soon as Ace got back on board, we started a small party.

With ''we'' I mean Luffy, Usopp, Chopper and me.

''This is great!'' shouted Usopp. ''Ace is our nakama!''

We raised our tankards.

''KANPAI!''

''Who said I'd be your nakama?'' asked Ace.

We ignored his question as we drank our beer.

I used to dislike the flavour of beer, but drinking it with my comrades changed that a bit. Although I still favour a good whisky. And well, due to the crazy info I heard this morning, I kinda needed a drink. So keep on toasting, my comrades.

''To delicious drinks…'' said Usopp.

''KANPAI!''

''To delicious food…'' said Luffy.

''KANPAI!''

''To delicious adventures…'' I said.

''You can't eat adventures,'' pointed Usopp out.

''An adventure in a candy-land?'' I suggested.

''KANPAI!''

''How about the sand?'' thought Chopper loudly.

''That's not delicious!'' we all laughed.

''Ace, are you really gonna be our nakama?'' asked Luffy.

''I'm in pursuit of a man,'' said Ace. ''He's known as Blackbeard.''

I tensed as soon as I heard that name.

''The pirate that sacked the Kingdom of Drum?'' wondered Vivi.

''He used to be a member of the Whitebeard Pirates, Second Division. My subordinate,'' explained Ace. ''Until he committed the greatest crime you can on a pirate ship.''

''Nakamacide,'' I whispered with a shiver. ''He killed his nakama, didn't he?''

Ace nodded. ''As the Commander, I have to find him and finish him off.''

Well, at least that is still the same as in canon. I'm sure if I was happy with that though.

''So that's why you're after him,'' said Usopp.

''The only reason I came to this country is because he was reportedly seen in Yuba,'' said Ace.

''Then, you're going to the same place we're going,'' realised Nami as she opened a map.

''Our ship just crossed onto the Sandora River.'' Vivi pointed at a location on the map. ''First, we'll land at Erumalu. Then we'll cross inland through Alabasta to here, Yuba.'' She pointed at the place where the oasis was marked on the map. ''Yuba is where the Rebel Leader is.''

''I get it,'' said Ace. ''So you're headed to Yuba, too.''

''Wherever Nami-san, Vivi-chan and Alexandra-chan go-!'' ''Quit it, Love Cook.'' ''What did you say, bastard…!''

''ANYWAY.''

Thank you Nami, for stopping these two before they get in a fight again.

''Looks like you'll be traveling with us for a little while,'' said Nami to Ace.

''With you along, this'll be a cinch!'' laughed Usopp.

''Let's make it a fun trip, Ace!'' said Luffy as he raised his tankard.

All together, we raised our tankards to toast.

''AYE!''

After we drank, most of us went our own way. Luffy brought Ace to the galley to get food from Sanji, Vivi went inside as well and I decided to sort out my bag in the anchor room.

I opened my backpack and took out everything that was in it. As we are going to cross the desert soon I should make sure I was lightly packed. Maybe it was better to leave my smartphone and the items associated with it at the Merry. Phones these days aren't as durable as they used to be and I'm sure we could meet a sandstorm or two.

I also put my regular clothes back in my crate. Except for my sneakers and socks as I was planning to wear them instead of those heeled wedges. Luckily, my ankle wasn't as swollen as it first was and I could actually manage to get my shoes on my feet again.

I wasn't sure whether or not I would take my Aussie hat with me. After some thinking, I added it on top of my regular clothes in the crate.

Eventually I packed my Brogy Blanket, as it gets cold in the desert, my regular glasses as I was wearing my sunglasses at the moment and a bottle filled with water that Sanji bought for me.

With my bag in my hands, I returned to the main deck where Zoro was practicing with an gigantic weight. Chopper was lying on the stairs nearby and enjoyed the wind that got whipped up by Zoro's swings.

Perhaps I should use this time for training too. It has been my to-go method to keep my mind occupied after all. Knowing my own strength and the fact that I wanted to be careful with my ankle, I started to practice with my knives, as opposed to training with my bullwhip. While casually standing against the railing, I was twirling with Hokey and Pokey in my hands and practicing some jabs.

But what if I could combine my two knives with one of my other weapons?

I placed Hokey between my left ring finger and middle finger. Pokey was placed between my left middle finger and index finger. I formed a fist with my left hand and clenched the handles. If I could punch someone like this, there would be a lot more pain and wounds for the one who gets hit.

With my right hand, I unsheathed Slasher. With the two knives in my left and the dagger in my right hand, I started practicing some movements. First it was just a few slashes and jabs. But I got so much into it that I added some kicks and low sweeps with my feet as well. Sometimes I almost stumbled, so I repeated and added some changes to the movements until it went fluently.

I was so immersed in my training that I lost the track of time. I mean, it felt like I started training a few minutes ago and now Vivi was offered me a long dark green desert cloak.

''Oh, err thanks,'' I said absentmindedly as I sheathed my weapons and took out the cloak from her hands. ''Did I miss something?'' I asked as I put the garb over my clothes and covered my head.

''I asked Carue to send a message to my father,'' answered Vivi. ''We are now getting ready to land at the other side of the Sandora Delta.''

''WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, NAMI-SAN!?''

Man, what's wrong with Sanji?

''WHERE ARE YOUR DANCING GIRL CLOTHES!?''

I facepalmed.

''NOO! NOT VIVI-CHAN AND ALEXANDRA-CHAN, TOO! WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT!?''

''But we'll be burned by the intense desert sun if we leave our skin exposed,'' explained Vivi.

''Ah, alas and woe… my precious dancing girls…'' lamented Sanji as he started rolling on the deck. I stuck out my foot to stop him.

''Suck it up man. It's for our own wellbeing,'' I told him. ''Speaking about wellbeing.'' I brought my face closer to Sanji's while I glared at him. ''Never get me high heeled shoes again if you don't want me getting hurt.''

''Y-Yes Alexandra-chan…''

''Let's get on land already!'' announced Luffy.

I was moving to the direction of the railing as I heard Vivi shouting; ''Kung Fu Dugongs!''

I took a good look and saw something that looked like a manatee-sea turtle hybrid. And it was so cute! Just the way they manage so balance themselves on their tails to stand upright looked adorable in my opinion.

''You must fight and defeat me if you wish to disembark here!'' translated Chopper. ''If you're too afraid, go dock on the other shore, you wimps.''

''I can't stand down after being called a wimp,'' said Usopp with a confident grin. He jumped off the ship, shouting; ''HERE I COME!''

''Wait, Usopp-san!'' said Vivi.

Our dear sniper was instantly defeated.

''Kung Fu Dugongs are very strong!''

''I win!'' shouted Luffy with both arms raised in the air.

''Looks like we have a winner over there,'' Nami pointed out.

''Winning is even worse!'' shrieked Vivi.

The defeated dugong bowed in front of Luffy.

''What the?'' muttered our captain.

''The code of the Kung Fu Dugong states that they must become disciples of anyone who defeats them.'' explained Vivi.

''Hard core martial artists,'' admitted Zoro.

''Oh, oh,'' I jumped enthusiastically. ''Can we get an army of dugongs? That would be so badass.''

The whole fleet of dugongs crowded around Luffy.

''HE GOT EVEN MORE DISCIPLES WHILE WE WERE TALKING!'' shouted Vivi.

''Good job Luffy! Gotta catch 'em all!'' I cheered.

''YOSH! EVERYONE, FOLLOW ME!'' ordered Luffy. ''TAKE YOUR STANCE!''

The dugongs cheered as they got ready to train.

''NOW, DO THIS!''

I started laughing as I watched Luffy demonstrating stances and moves to the dugongs. He would be an amazing Pokémon trainer. Now what kind of team would he have? Probably with physical Fighting types. And his starter should be a Chimchar. A fire monkey suits him just fine.

''Yosh! We're headin' to Yuba!'' shouted Luffy after drilling the dugongs.

''Now just wait a minute…'' Zoro's eyebrows were twitching. ''YOU'RE GONNA TAKE THEM ALONG!?''

''Badass dugong army-!'' I cheered in a sing-song voice.

''You can't, Luffy, Alexandra!'' huffed Nami.

''These Dugongs couldn't possibly cross the desert,'' explained Vivi.

''That's right!'' I faceplamed for my own stupidity. ''These guys are water dwellers. They would dry out if they join us in our trek.''

Some dugongs clenched Luffy's legs like they didn't want him to leave them.

''C-Cute…'' muttered Nami and Vivi.

''I feel as though I'm being really mean to them…''

''So do I… What should we do?''

''All right!'' I addressed the dugongs. ''We are going through the desert but you guys can't follow us due to the climate.''

The dugongs were muttering and grumbling among each other.

''However! We can give you the noble task of guarding our ship against enemies until our glorious return! Do you accept this task?''

The only response was some more muttering although I had the feeling they could consider my offer if it wasn't for the fact that I haven't battled any of them.

''You'll go with us when we come back!'' added Luffy with a smile.

The dugongs rose their flippers and seemed to cheer.

''They are actually going to do what you suggested,'' said Chopper with his mouth wide open.

''Yosh. Badass Dugong Army, your mission starts now!'' I raised my left arm. ''Only people with the white bandage on their left arm and the knowledge of the password may enter the ship!'' I squatted in front of the dugongs. ''The password is Sweetie Drops.''

I got a nod from the dugongs.

''I'm counting on ya all,'' I said as I patted a few dugongs on the head.

With the sounds of a drum and Luffy's loud ''SEE YAAA!'' we finally set off to the desert.

''Alexandra-chan! It was so amazing how you managed those creatures!'' swooned Sanji.

''They didn't want to follow her orders until Luffy agreed with it,'' explained Chopper.

''Whaat!?''

''That's because I didn't defeat one in battle, isn't it?'' I asked.

Chopper nodded. ''But they do like the suggestion you gave. They said that they would follow us when we return.''

Nice, our crew will definitely be stronger if we have a herd of dugongs around.

''What kind of password is ''Sweetie Drops'' anyway?'' asked Zoro.

''Something the enemy wouldn't expect. It beats ''Swordfish'' any day,'' I said with a shrug.

We climbed the first sand dune and saw a city. Well, it was supposed to be a city as it was completely in ruins.

''What's this?'' wondered Sanji.

''Is this Yuba?'' asked Luffy.

''No,'' said Vivi with sadness in her voice. ''This is Erumalu. It was once known as the Green City.''

''Green City?'' wondered Luffy.

''It must have been green a long time ago,'' I sighed.

''Looking at this city, you can understand just how much the Baroque Works organisation has done to this country. And just how much Alabasta's people are suffering,'' said Vivi.

As we walked in the ruins of the city, I looked around. It looked like a war was lost here. The war against nature's wrath. Buildings were crumbled, trees have dried out and the silence was deafening.

''Wow, there really is nothing here,'' noticed Luffy.

Vivi started to explain how the city used to thrive despite the hard conditions. But no rain for three years? How could humans survive something like that? It's no wonder the people left the city in search of water.

And then came the story about Dance Powder. The workings of this stuff didn't seem to make sense and sound logical at the same time. Guess I got pretty much integrated in the workings of this world.

A wind started to blow and I held the hood of my desert cloak to prevent it from blowing off.

I heard creepy wailing sounds as the wind became stronger.

''What's that? Are those people?''

''The Rebel Army?''

''Could it be assassins from Baroque Works!?''

''Sorry for sounding cliché, but it's just the wind,'' I explained.

''It sounds like voices,'' said Luffy.

''I can hear it all around us! What should we do? Huh, bro?'' shrieked Usopp.

''It's nothing dangerous,'' explained Ace. ''The winds are passing through the town and reverberating among the building ruins.''

A gust of wind blew off Vivi's hood.

''The city…'' she muttered. ''It's as if the city of Erumalu is crying.

A sandy tornado approached us and I shrank in a ball. Of all natural disasters, the wind related ones scare me the most. Fires can be doused with water, landslides and avalanches can be stopped in creative ways, lava can be redirected to a certain margin, floods can be crossed, you can fly away during earthquakes and lightning can be avoided by anything rubber. But when a tornado comes, you can only run or hide.

Okay, that was the logic I used as a kid. But that doesn't mean that tornadoes and whirlwinds don't scare the crap out of me as an adult.

''…ere's ….one lying the..!''

''Is some… still liv… .. ..is .ity…!?''

''Oi, Alexandra. Are you okay?'' I felt a hand on my shoulder and I instantly jerked up. ''Tornado! Get in the basement!'' I yelled.

''It was a small whirlwind,'' assured Ace. ''And it's already gone.''

''Oh, err, okay.'' I sweatdropped. ''Where is everyone?''

As Ace brought me where a part of the crew mingled, a building crashed down. From the dust cloud emerged a pissed Luffy, Sanji and Usopp. As I wondered what the reason was for their anger, I saw human remains in the sand. Vivi was crying next to the bones.

I wordlessly patted her head in sympathy and helped Ace who began digging in the sand.

Together we dug the grave for the unnamed victim if the drought.

As a finishing touch, Luffy put a dried-out broken branch as a maker.

''Vivi,'' he said. ''We have to keep going forward.'' He cracked his shoulder. ''We've been sitting here too long.''

Without saying anything, I followed my captain. After walking a few meters, I saw Vivi lagging a bit behind near the grave. I sighed as I faced forward, hoping the poor soul found rest despite being buried by pirates.

-GWTF-

''Aaah…

Aaah…

Aaah…

Aaah…

Aaah!

I'm burning…

Not even sweating anymore…''

''Enough with the ''Aaah''s, Luffy. You'll wear yourself out,'' said Nami.

''Aaah…''

''You're not listening to a word I say.''

''I can't take this.'' An exhausted Chopper lied on a wooden makeshift sled that was pulled by Zoro. ''I'm perfectly fine in the cold, but I can't stand the heat…''

''It's because you're so damn fuzzy,'' said Usopp who was using a dried-out stick for support. ''Why don't you take off that animal costume?''

''WHAT WAS THAT, ASSHOLE!?'' Chopper shifted in his human form and towered over Usopp. ''Don't make fun of reindeer!''

''AHH! A MONSTER!'' yelled Usopp.

''Chopper! Don't grow big like that! I can't pull you!''

''Who are you calling a monster, you stupid-nose!''

''Wha-Wha-What did you- Why I'm gonna-''

''Just change back already!''

''The heat doesn't seem to be affecting you much at all, Vivi-chan.''

''I was born and raised in this country; I'm used to it.''

''Man, why are these dunes so freakin' tall? I thought deserts were supposed to be flatter than this…''

''Aaah…!''

''This is an ancient desert. The largest sand dunes can reach over 300 meters.''

''3… 300 meters!? We might as well be climbing mountains!''

I was walking in the rear of the group, dealing with the heat on my own by inwardly cursing the climate in creative ways or wishing to be liberated from the sweat-inducing drought. I want a Castform to use Rain Dance, or find an oasis that isn't overrun by chaos. But noooo, instead I had to endure the desert and worse the…

''Aaah…''

''Luffy, for Tapu Bulu's sake, stop with the fucking ''Aaah''s before I pop a vessel!'' I snapped.

''Aaah, I can't stand it…

And I'm ignored.

It's so hot…''

Luffy was reaching for the water barrel. We've managed to close the hole in the barrel with an tap and a short water hose before we went into the desert.

''Luffy! Just one mouthful! Only enough to fill your mouth!''

''Don't say it that way Nami,'' I warned. ''He will abuse the fact that his mouth can stretch!''

Sadly, my warning came too late as Luffy's cheeks looked like that of an hamster. But then full with water.

''THAT'S TOO MUCH!'' shouted Nami as both she and Usopp clonked Luffy on the head. ''Save some for me too! You just took 18 mouthfuls!'' added the sniper.

I cried inwardly as the water was spat out over the sand. Where is a Waterbender when you need one?

''HOLD IT!'' yelled Sanji at Luffy. ''You just had some before! It's my turn next!''

''Don't fight!'' shouted Vivi. ''You'll waste your strength!''

As my crewmembers became a dust cloud of violence, I had the resist the urge of using someone's back as a place to slam my head against.

-GWTF-

I don't know how, but somehow we've survived until this point. At the latest rocky outcropping, we've set up camp. With the sun and the temperature getting lower, we were getting ready for a meagre dinner.

''I'm starving-!'' whined Luffy

''Quit being so greedy!'' said Sanji. ''It's still raw! Don't eat it!''

''Smells good!'' said Usopp.

''DON'T TOUCH IT!''

''Why not? They're done! Let's eat them!''

''DON'T TOUCH IT!''

As Sanji tried to keep the boys away from the still raw-ish meat, Nami and Vivi were talking about the desert cold. With no clouds in the sky that could reflect the heat that was generated during the day back to earth, the temperature got very low. That's the reason that nights with clear skies are colder then cloudy ones.

''Hey Sandra,'' said Luffy as Sanji distributed the meal. ''Sing something!''

''Huh, why?'' I asked as I received a piece of meat.

''We need music to make this meal better!''

I blinked a moment to let Luffy's logic sink down for a moment. Did he really ask for live-music?

''You can make music with that weird thing, don't you?'' asked Usopp.

''Sorry, but I left it at the Merry.''

''Ehhh!?''

''My phone isn't that durable. I'm sure that a single sandstorm can shut it down forever.''

''Then sing something!''

''Okay okay,'' I rubbed my temple. ''I will probably mess up the lyrics and keep it short.''

''Just do it!''

Sure, Le Beouf D. Luffy.

I hummed a bit to find the right tune and began to sing;

''Oh, we walk on a land, at a faraway place,

where the caravan camels roam.

Where it's flat and immense and the heat is intense.

It's so barren, but hey, it's a home.

When the wind's from the east,

and the sun's from the west,

and the sand in the glass is right.

Come on down,

stop on by,

hop a carpet and fly,

to another Alabastan night!

Alabastan Nights like Alabastan days,

more often than not,

are hotter than hot,

in a lot of good ways!

Alabastan Nights 'neath Alabastan moons!

A fool off his guard,

could fall and fall hard,

out there on the dunes.''

''Did you just sing about my home?'' wondered Vivi.

''Actually, it's about a different country. But I changed the lines a bit,'' I said. Just as I wanted to take a bite from my meat, I noticed my hand is empty. My eyes darted in my captain's direction and saw him chewing while holding a piece of uneaten meat.

''Luffy, you son of a lizard,'' I growled as I jumped him. With my teeth a snatched away the meat from his hand and I started to eat despite the fact there was still one hand holding on it.

''DON'T STEAL FOOD FROM THE LADY!'' yelled Sanji as he kicked Luffy outstretched arm. I noticed his hand letting go of my food and I promptly stuffed myself.

''I'm sorry for what happened Alexandra-chan. What about a hot Alabastan Night like you've been singing about?''

''Swut up Swanswi!'' I responded with my mouth full.

I watched as Chopper, Usopp, Zoro and Luffy formed some sort of dogpile. Maybe it was a smart idea to huddle among the others during the night to keep warm. As long as nobody is planning to do shit that Sanji referred to, it would be okay.

I could go into the tent to sleep, but I know that Nami wouldn't appreciate my snoring.

''Scuse me,'' I said as I went to sit next to Zoro.

He opened one eye for a moment and closed it when he saw it was me. I draped the Brogy Blanket over us and let the exhaustion bring me to the realm of sleep.

-GWTF-

''Whoa! I found a shrimp!''

''No, I'm not buying any dolls,'' I muttered as the yell was waking me up.

Wait, shrimp? There are no shrimps here. Unless…

I immediately got aware of what danger my friends could be in as I rushed in their direction.

''Why not? I've eaten crayfish before.''

''DROP IT!'' I yelled at Luffy.

''Whoa!'' As he let the creature go due to my unexpected yell, I slashed off the tail of the animal.

''What was that for!?''

''That's a freaking scorpion! Those things can kill you with their poison!''

''Can I eat it?''

''As far as I know, only the tail contains the nasty stuff.''

I heard some crunchy sounds from Luffy.

''Not like that! It's fucking raw!'' I yelled.

''Did you just ate a whole scorpion, Luffy-san?''

''Don't worry Vivi. I've cut off the tail.''

Vivi's face became a bit green as she saw a stinger-ended tail on the ground.

''Is that tiny thing so dangerous?'' wondered Usopp.

''Rule of thumb; the smaller the scorpion, the more potent the poison is.''

''Hyaaah! We could have been dead!''

''I'm sorry. I should have warned everyone,'' said Vivi.

I sighed. ''At least we got out of this in one piece. I'm sure you got a lot on your mind, Vivi. But you know the most of this place, so please point out the dangers before they occur.''

Like I'm the one to talk. I've watched the anime so I should know everything. Still, I had the idea that I missed a detail somewhere. And then was the fact that things in the past have been different than in canon. How else would Luffy and Ace know about Sabo being alive? And what is the role of the SANCC in all this?

''What's wrong, Chopper?'' asked Luffy.

The reindeer climbed up a rock to get a good view.

''Something… is coming!''

''And ''something'' would be… what?'' wondered Usopp.

As I looked in the same direction as Chopper does, I saw brown-ish wind approaching from far away. My gut sank when the realisation dawned upon me.

''Da rude sandstorm!'' I yelled. ''Take cover!''

I grabbed my blanket from the ground and hid underneath it near the rocks. I made sure that my feet prevented the blanket from blowing away while I held the other side with my hands.

I heard yells and the sounds of running around me, indicating that the others were trying to hide as well.

And then…

I could only hear the vicious blowing wind.

I could only feel the wind trying to blow away my blanket.

I could only struggle against the wind.

Time seemed to creep by as I fought against the power of nature.

-GWTF-

After the desert gave us this great morning surprise, we managed to unbury ourselves, gather our stuff and start our travel for today. It was our second day in our trek to Yuba, but I totally had it with everything. It was hot, dry and we had a few resources to fall back to. Then that flipping sandstorm crashed by to destroy our tents and get sand in uncomfortable places.

Even now, I still had sand in my mouth.

''Ey Ace. Couldn't you blow away that sandstorm with some sort of heat wave?'' I asked.

''The wind was strong enough to be blown back at us. You wouldn't like superheated sand, do you?''

''Then… we would've been pelted by tiny shards of glass…'' I shuddered upon this realisation.

Okay, Ace had a point. Still, there was something I wanted to gripe about.

''What's with that yelling of attack names anyway? It's a great way to inform your enemies about what you are going to do.''

''You don't know?'' asked Ace surprised.

''Don't know what?''

''Saying the name of the attack helps to focus it. It makes them more effective too,'' Ace explained.

''Seriously?'' Now I was surprised. Does that mean that it works like the Kidô in Bleach, except there are no long-ass incantations?

''It makes some sort of sense,'' I admitted. ''Do the names have to make sense though?''

''As long as the user understands them, it wouldn't be a problem.''

''Teehee, thanks,'' I said with a grin. After all, I had some ideas for certain attacks. Even though they sound weird in the ears of anyone who doesn't know my logic behind it. And ooh boy, I got some weird logic and associations in my head. It'll confuse the shit out of friend and foe alike. Or maybe not.

The most important thing is that I don't use the official names of the techniques like Soru and Geppo. I don't want to get questioned by the World Government.

''Oi, Sanji! Let's eat our bento! Pirate Bento!'' I heard Luffy saying.

''Not yet! Not until Vivi-chan says so,'' answered Sanji.

''Vivi! Let's have our bento! I'm out of strength!''

Luffy didn't sound that tired to me though. He haven't even been doing his ''Aaah!''s yet.

''Haven't you heard the saying; ''If you are hungry, eat.'' ''

I snorted as I used the same excuse often as a kid when I wanted a snack.

''I understand. Then, how about we take a break at the next outcropping of rocks we come to?'' offered Vivi.

''Yosh, next outcropping!''

Luffy ran a few meters forward and then turned his face to us.

''Hey guys! Let's hurry up to the next outcropping!'' he cheered. ''Whoever wins at Janken carries all the baggage!''

Janken? Rock, paper, scissors in Japanese?

''Isn't it usually the loser who carries the baggage…?'' wondered Sanji.

''All right, here we go? JAN! KEN! PON!''

I quickly made my hand in the scissors shape.

''Now wait a minute!'' yelled Vivi.

''You did it after you already saw our hands!'' added Zoro.

''Whoa! I won!'' cheered Luffy who had his hand balled in a fist to symbolise the rock.

''BAKA!'' yelled Nami and I in unison.

-GWTF-

A few minutes later, a tired Luffy was pulling a wooden sled filled with bags that were held together with rope.

''H-Heavy…

It's heavy…

And hot…

I won at Janken… Why?''

''It's _because_ you won at Janken,'' explained Sanji. ''Shut up and pull.''

''Don't let anything fall off now,'' instructed Nami.

''Be glad I carry my own bag,'' I added.

I never liked to let other people carry my stuff as I'm always afraid that it gets lost somehow. Now I know where my belongings are; at my back.

''Straight ahead, outcropping sighted!'' announced Usopp.

''Really!?''

Suddenly Luffy ran straight forwards with the baggage.

''Break time! Yahoo!''

And he ran away while leaving a dust cloud.

''OI! HE'S FAST!'' yelled Usopp.

Call me paranoid, but I'm not going to leave Luffy alone with all the provisions.

Okay, ten steps per second. I haven't got it yet, but I'm getting closer to master it. ''Gillette,'' I muttered.

Like an arrow released from a bow, I sped forwards in hot pursuit of my captain. It was hard to maintain speed on the sand and the outcropping was quite far away. But I had to do this.

I was stumbling in the shade as I reached the outcropping. This was exhausting. My legs were burning. The training the people went through to learn Soru and those other techniques must have been intense.

As soon as I saw the sled with baggage, I plopped down on it and closed my eyes. I needed a break and the shade is lovely.

''EMERGENCY!''

What…?

''Oi Sandra! There are a bunch of injured birds. I'm getting Chopper!''

''Okay…''

I had no idea whether or not Luffy heard me as his yells sounded pretty far away already.

Suddenly, I heard sounds of something moving. When I opened my eyes, I saw a flock of white birds with skinny legs standing in front of me.

''You don't look that injured to me,'' I said surprised.

The birds blinked.

I blinked.

And then the birds pounced on me. As I couldn't reach my weapons fast enough due to my desert garb being in the way, I did the first other thing that came in my mind: I grabbed one of the beaks of the birds and used said bird to slam the others away.

The other birds backed off a bit as I approached them with a grim look on my face.

''Oi!'' I yelled as I threw the squawking bird from my hand in their direction. ''What is the fucking meaning of that guano you are pulling off!?''

The birds shivered as I managed to reach inside my desert garb to reveal Indy.

''You think this is some sort of game huh?'' I growled. ''Playing dead, only to nab away the belongings of any Good Samaritan you come across?''

I stretched my whip a bit.

''You know what happens to a flock of felonious flying fucks like you, right?'' I said menacingly.

The birds promptly fainted.

''Well, that works too,'' I said as I blinked.

I sat down on the bags and sighed. Those birds probably thought I was an easy target as I was tired from using my poor version of Soru. Well, it's true that I am tired, but not enough to let my comrade's stuff being stolen.

I heard the sound of flapping wings and turned around so see a white bird like the others getting a bit too close to the baggage for comfort.

''Get away!'' I sneered as I flicked Indy in the bird's direction.

The annoying thing got just out of reach and made mocking sounds as if it wanted me to chase it.

''Seriously? That's one of the oldest tricks in the book.'' I felt a drop of sweat flowing from the back of my head.

I turned my head back to the place where the fainted birds were, only to see that they were gone. I heard more mocking sounds, this time coming from all directions above me.

Those bastards had surrounded me when I paid no attention to them. And this time they tried to attack me from all sides.

I tried to chase them off, but they just wouldn't give up until one of them got one of the most important items of all.

''The water barrel!'' I shrieked.

''Alexandra-san!'' I heard from far away.

At that moment, all the birds flew off to cover the one with our water.

''Get back here and fight like a warrior!'' I yelled as I began to pursuit the retreating flock.

I ran through the sand.

I ran in between rock structures

I ran…

''Wow shit!''

Suddenly, plants that looked like Venus fly traps popped up and got one of the birds.

The good news, those plants removed one of the birds without luggage, so I could see the one that carried the water barrel better.

The bad news, they were now aiming at me.

I had to jump away to avoid those things as they tried to bite me like those plants from the Mario games.

''Indy Queen of Hearts!'' I yelled as I flicked my whip in the direction of the stems of the plants. With a satisfying squelching sound I separated the ''mouths'' from the stems of the plants.

The plants that weren't hit by my attacks retreated back into the ground.

I stood there and panted. What the fuck did I get myself into anyway? Now that the birds were gone, I realised that I had no idea where I came from.

Just as I wanted to facepalm due to my own stupidity, I heard a strange sound I vaguely recognised from a Funniest Home Video. As I turned my face to the source of the sound, I saw that one of the plants haven't gone underground yet. Instead it was trying to chomp down on a camel who tried to keep the plant's mouth open by spreading it's legs. The poor animal was making weird sounds to attract my attention.

''Indy Queen of Hearts.'' I gave my whip a swing and snapped of the mouth from the stem that was barely above the ground.

The camel immediately ran out of the vegetation towards me.

''Guess somebody's bad luck can turn in somebody else's good luck,'' I said as I patted the camel's nose. ''You poor thing must have quite a scare right there.''

The camel made a low sort-of-bleating sound in response while his eyes got somehow heart-shaped.

I chuckled a bit as the camel seemed to look silly while doing that.

Behind him I saw a bunch of sand disappearing. The camel was shivering in fear while the ground began to shake. I had to grab the camel's back to keep myself from falling as… something seemed to get closer.

''What the…''

A gigantic lizard with a huge mouth and pointy teeth rose from the sand and leered at our direction.

Okay, I'm pretty tired from running and now a Gila monster that was bigger than any predatory dinosaur I faced before was ready to eat me and a camel I just met.

Fight or flight? It wasn't hard to decide.

I jumped on the saddle on the camel's back and grabbed the reins.

''RUN FORREST, RUN!'' I yelled.

With a loud bellow, the camel ran in the opposite direction the lizard came from.

A loud rumbling was behind us and I looked back to see the lizard following us.

''HIEEEEEEE! FASTER, FASTER!''

The camel began to run faster and an rocky outcropping came in sight. A familiar outcropping.

''KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT WITH FIRE!'' I yelled at the people whom I recognised as my crewmates.

''Look, Sandra got meat!''

As the camel and me approached the outcropping, Luffy, Sanji and Zoro ran in our direction, ready to kick ass.

''Alexandra-chan! I'm here to save you!''

''Don't run off on your own anymore, stupid woman!''

''Meat!''

I could only answer with a dignified ''Hieeee!'' as we passed the three men.

The camel and I were both panting as we managed to stop running upon arrival at the outcropping. Behind us were dying lizard sounds as the creature got attacked by the inhumanly strong people.

Vivi, Chopper, Usopp and Nami stared with hanging jaws at the destruction.

''They didn't have to go THAT far…'' cried Usopp.

''With all three of them attacking it, I feel more sorry for the monster,'' admitted Nami.

''Monster Trio, that's what they are,'' I panted as I dismounted the camel. ''By the way, those birds stole our water.''

''WHAT!'' yelled Nami, Usopp and Chopper.

''Sorry,'' I muttered and went to a corner to hug my knees and wallow in self-pity.

''I can't even prevent our precious water from being stolen by some birds…''

''Oi…'' muttered Usopp.

Behind my crewmates rose another purple monster.

Usopp and Chopper had only one word to say; ''AAAAHHHH!''

''There's another one!?'' shrieked Nami.

''I forgot to mention it,'' explained Vivi fearfully. ''but Great Sandora Lizards always hunt their prey in pairs!''

''Tell us these things!'' deadpanned Nami, Usopp and Chopper at the same time.

The roaring sounds of the lizard woke up Ace from his nap.

''Ace!''

''Watch out!''

''What a pain in the ass. Want me to play with you?'' said Ace to the monster.

Said monster roared in response.

''Alright, alright. No choice then,'' said Ace as he held his hat on his head with his left hand. He then jumped towards the lizard.

The purple beast closed its mouth with Ace inside.

''Idiot,'' I muttered as I saw the flames getting out of the lizard its nostrils. And then the whole beast was covered in fire from within.

Ace casually jumped back to the ground as he left a brown-toasted beast in his wake.

''Thanks Ace,'' I said a I put back Indy on my belt and took out Slasher. I began to cut away the scaly skin to unveil the warm baked meat.

''Anybody fancy some lizard?'' I asked as I cut off some pieces. ''So… you can forgive me for not being able to protect the water?''

''Off course I can forgive you,'' swooned Sanji who approached me like a hurricane. ''How dare those shitty birds hurt your feelings,'' he added angrily.

I just sighed. Losing water in the desert is asking for death. The fact that I failed to retrieve the water made me responsible for their possible demise.

A hand landed on my shoulder. ''Don't worry about us. I packed a water bottle in everyone's bag in case something would happen,''

''Thanks Sanji,'' I said with a sad smile.

''Ooooh, it tastes like dinosaur!'' I said as I tried a piece of the meat I was cutting. ''Brings back memories…''

''How did somebody who hunted dinosaurs even get bested by birds?'' wondered Usopp.

I retreated back to the corner, this time with a load of meat.

''Well? What's with the camel?'' asked Zoro.

''Poor thing almost got eaten by some piranha-plants. So I rescued him. Or her. Not sure about the gender yet,'' I muttered from my corner.

I kept on eating my meat. The sweetness seriously reminded me of my meals back at Little Garden.

''It doesn't look like a wild camel,'' observed Nami.

''Yes, he has a saddle strapped on his back…'' added Vivi.

''It _is_ you!'' said Chopper.

The reindeer and the camel began a conversation.

''I see. I'm glad!''

''What? You know him?'' wondered Luffy.

''Yeah. This is the camel that gave me a ride and helped me escape from Katorea!'' explained Chopper.

Katorea? Wasn't there something in that place? I held my head in an angle as I tried to remember. Come on, I really had the idea it was important. What did I forget?

''Well then, I'll go first…''

Luffy was trying to get on the camel's back, but the camel bit his head.

''Eh? What's wrong with you?''

''I am a freedom-loving, hard-boiled, chivalrous camel,'' translated Chopper. ''Thank you for slaying that savage beast that pursued the lady and me. I don't mind being ridden, but I won't let guys ride.''

''Why you…'' grumbled Luffy.

''Liar! You let Chopper ride!'' yelled Usopp

Together with Sanji, they were kicking the camel in dismay.

''For chivalry,'' translated Chopper as the camel gave a smile. I swear I saw his teeth twinkle like those in the toothpaste advertisements.

''Stop screwing around!''

''Stupid camel! Stupid camel! Stupid camel!''

And the camel got kicked again. These guys could get in serious problems if an animal rights organisation hears about this. Thought the one who used a bird as a club.

''I'm sorry. My little bandits are so horrible to you,'' said Nami as she stroked the camel's chin.

Said camel got heart-shaped eyes like he did when I petted him.

''You're a good boy, aren't you?'' said Nami. ''What should I call you?''

''Idiot,'' said Luffy.

''Dumbass,'' suggested Sanji.

''Moron,'' added Usopp.

''I accidently called him Forrest,'' I said.

''Well then, ''Eyelashes'' it is,'' concluded Nami.

''Hey… that was the weirdest choice of all,'' said Zoro.

Calling a camel ''Eyelashes'' due to the long lashes that animal has is the same as calling a Pikachu ''Yellow'' or ''Thundertail''.

''Now then, get on Vivi,'' said Nami as she rode in Vivi's direction.

''It's okay, I can still walk,'' said Vivi. ''What about you, Alexandra-san?''

I was in the corner drawing circles with my finger in the sand.

''I rode a pervert. What will my parents think about this?'' I muttered.

''Just ask her later,'' said Nami. ''Come on.''

As Vivi mounted Eyelashes I heard the boys calling the camel names.

''Ero-camel.''

''Ero-camel.''

''Ero-camel.''

''Ero-camel.''

''Ero-camel.''

''Ero-camel.''

''It looks like we can go a little faster this way,'' said Nami while ignoring the boys. ''We have to get to Yuba as quickly as possible and persuade the rebels to stop.''

As she said that, the girls rode away.

''Wait a minute!'' we all yelled.

''Come on, step on it!'' shouted Nami. ''If you fall behind, you'll never get out of the desert!''

''Quit joking around!'' shrieked Usopp.

''I like this type of Nami-san too-!'' swooned Sanji.

''Let's follow them! Hurry!'' shouted Ace.

''Chopper, get on!''

''Okay!''

I quickly grabbed another bunch of meat from the lizard carcass as I followed the others.

''HOLD IT!'' we all shouted.

-GWTF-

We were walking in silence as I was mentally groaning at the stupidity of some people. My own because due to my fault, we have limited water. And that of the girls, who went ahead on the pervy camel. What happened to the wisdom about never splitting the party?

''Well? Do you see Nami and Vivi yet?'' asked Ace who walked next to me.

''Nope,'' I said as I looked up.

''Luffy?'' I heard next to me.

We both looked at each other and then at the empty desert.

It was at this moment that we knew… we fucked up.

''What!?'' yelled Ace.

''No fucking way! Lost in the desert!?'' I shrieked. ''We're gonna die, we're gonna die!''

I desperately clutched my head in my hands.

''We are going to die from thirst and dry out until only our bones are left and our souls are doomed to sing the songs of misery in the lonely winds… I should've killed those thieving birds when I got the chance… now I have to resort to drinking my own piss…

I'm sorry for losing the water barrel!''

''Calm down, being stressed costs only more energy,'' eased Ace.

''Stressed!? I'm not stressed! Not at all… Teehee… I'm so dead…''

A crashing sound came from far away.

''Did you hear that too?''

''The sound of doom…?''

Just as I said that, a gigantic scorpion rose from the sand in front of us. It was opening and closing its pinchers in a menacing way and aimed its venomous tail at us.

''I wouldn't do that,'' said Ace with a calm voice.

I gulped.

Then, the pinchers of the scorpion shot out in our direction.

The next thing I saw was fire. I felt the heat on my clothes as an amazing blaze cooked the scorpion in its shell.

''Bruh…''

''I told you not to,'' sighed Ace as he continued to walk.

My eyes were still glued on the steaming arthropod. I realised that Ace was seriously a force to be reckoned with as I stared at the results of his power.

''You gonna get in my way, too?'' I heard Ace say.

As I turned in the direction of his voice, I saw him and a creature that looked like a gecko that stood on its hind legs. The reptile seemed to sweat bullets as it looked in my direction.

Or better said, the direction of the dead scorpion.

''Hey Ace,'' I said with a grin. ''I got an idea.''

I approached the gecko.

''Hey buddy,'' I spoke in a gentle voice. ''At this moment, my friend and I are in a bit of a pickle. So please be a dear and help us crossing the desert?'' I gave the animal a smile. ''If you don't, my friend could sprout out some flames.''

The gecko tuned his back toward us and lowered himself.

''That's a good boy,'' I said as I mounted the gecko. ''Or are you a girl?''

The gecko shook his head to indicate that he was indeed a male.

As soon as Ace sat behind me, the gecko rose on his feet.

''To the nearest civilisation!'' I said as I pointed towards the horizon.

''But if you happen to sense a group of humans with a reindeer and a camel nearby, go that way,'' I added.

Well, it seems like we got a mount now. That way, we would conserve energy and travel greater distances. I just hoped we would reunite with the rest of the crew soon.

''As we are alone now,'' said Ace. ''You wouldn't mind if I asked you some questions?''

''As long as you answer mine too,'' I said with a serious tone in my voice.

Maybe this situation isn't that bad as we got all the privacy we need to exchange information.

I could only hope it wouldn't bite me in the rear later.

-GWTF-

AN:

Guess what happened during writing? Another power failure… It seems like there is a weak spot in the electricity cable outside. Internet was also gone while I was writing the first day of the desert trek. It's a good thing I preload a few episodes before writing, in case this happens. But I can't use online dictionaries without internet. So the draft was full with Dutch words and descriptions that needed to be translated at a later time as my English vocabulary is still growing.

Sorry for the rant, but I needed to get this off my chest.

Anyway:

So I was wondering: should this story be adventure/humour instead of adventure/friendship? I try to put some jokes and funny/weird situations in my story, but I wonder whether or not it justifies the humour tag.

The song Alexandra was singing during dinner is based of Arabian Nights from the Disney movie Aladdin.

Review corner:

gamelover41592: Ah, the notorious Ace burn. Such an intense tradition. How would you've expected it to happen, literally or figuratively? ;)

I have the feeling that the Ace burn is a recurring theme. And I don't want to make my story look too much like the others. Although I have the feeling I'm partly successful in regards of originality.

BlackDove WhiteDove: Chapter 5 was indeed my longest update. The thing was that I couldn't find a good point to break the chapter. So it kept on growing xD

Freayamichealson: I'm glad you like to see new updates. But I prefer to make chapters with around 10.000 words. Lengthy chapters like those take time and I also have a job with lots of physical work. I hope you and the other readers understand this ^^

Zezeisanidoit: Is once every two weeks soon enough? I'm afraid I can't update faster as the chapters will be a lot shorter if I did.


	7. Unhappy slapping

**7\. Unhappy slapping**

The desert sun was ablaze as I rode a gecko together with the embodiment of fire. This would sound like a weird joke if it wasn't for the tense atmosphere between the man behind me and myself.

Why? Because we reached the point where we will exchange some dangerous and perhaps personal information.

There were so many things I wanted to ask Ace about. And then was the fact that I wanted to warn him about Blackbeard. Call it wishful thinking, but I wanted to prevent Ace's capture and the whole Marineford War. So much dead and suffering.

''Can I trust you?'' I asked Ace. ''The things that will be spoken about are dangerous information after all.''

''Nobody will hear about the words we will speak now.''

I looked at the gecko.

''That means you will not spill anything either,'' I told the animal.

''What was that story about Sabo you were talking about?''

I sighed.

''Well, Luffy already said that I'm from another world.'' Thanks for that, captain. ''And in that other world, I got visions.''

''Visions?''

''Yeah. Images and sound. Even written words.''

I'm not going to tell the whole I've-seen-you-guys-in-an-anime-story again. That would overcomplicate things.

''And there you saw what you told me about Sabo.''

''Yeah. Seems like those visions turned out to be wrong though. I'm glad they are. You guys were grieving so much.''

Ace didn't say anything.

Crap! Did I say something wrong? I probably did. This whole awkwardness would've been prevented if I didn't say anything about Sabo to begin with.

''We did grieve.''

''Huh?''

''You said that the ''S'' on my tattoo represented Sabo, didn't you?''

I nodded.

''It represents our little sister, Saundra.''

''That sounds a lot like Sandra. Wait! You said you guys had a sister? That was never in my visions!''

''You did say that your visions were wrong about Sabo.''

It sounds like those fanfics where the ASL brothers had an additional sibling. Could she have been from another world like me? That would explain the fact that I've never seen her in the anime.

''May I ask what happened to her?''

''I rather don't talk about it,'' said Ace with sadness in his voice.

''That's okay. I'm sorry for asking.''

For a while, both of us didn't say anything to conserve our energy. It was just so hot, I really needed a drink. With some effort, I managed to get my water bottle from my bag. After a few swigs and hydrating Hayden who I got with me, I put the bottle back in my bag.

''Hey Ace,'' I asked.

''Hm.''

''How much is known about people like me? And how much do _you_ know?''

''The existence of Otherworlders is basically a street rumour. In the Four Blues, they are considered as unnatural as Devil Fruits. However, in the Grand Line there are people who believe in their existence. Some people seek them out to ask about the unknown. That's where they got the name Oracle from. Others see them as something dangerous and oppose anyone who seems to know more than they do. I've heard that some people got bounties on their heads for that reason.''

So that means I could be treated like an outsider. Great, just great. Like I wasn't treated like dirt as a kid.

''As what I know, they have formed some sort of organisation. Nobody knows where their headquarters is, what their actual aim is or even the identity of their leader.''

So that means the SANCC is as mysterious as the Revolutionary Army. I seriously got in a dangerous organisation. But at least they seem to be a neutral faction.

They also seem to seek out powerful people to warn them about impending disasters. Some time ago, there was one who tried to contact Oyaji.''

''Whitebeard?'' I blurted out. ''Whoever did that must had some balls.''

''Actually, that person wasn't as brave as you would think,'' said Ace with a chuckle. ''For some reason, we got swarmed with pieces of paper first, all addressed to Oyaji.''

The tone of Ace his voice got more serious now.

''Eventually, he told us that she saw a vision and wanted to warn us about it so that the future he saw could be prevented.''

''What did he see?''

''That someone of our crew would be murdered by one of our own,'' said Ace with a shivering voice.

My mouth fell open when I heard that. It seems like I'm not the only one who is trying to prevent a future massacre.

''If we just listened, we could have prevented it and Thatch would be still alive.''

The temperature seemed to have risen a bit as Ace said those words. Despite the heat, I shivered.

''Nobody would've expected something horrible like that to happen,'' I responded. Hoping to calm Ace down a bit. ''If someone told me that I would actively kill somebody, I wouldn't believe it either.''

Perhaps this would be the right moment to tell Ace about Blackbeard's powers. He would stand a better chance if he knows what to do.

''Ace, can I give you my insight of the future?''

''You know where to find Blackbeard?''

''Yes. And I also know how he fights.''

-GWTF-

So I told Ace everything I remembered about the Yami Yami no Mi, Blackbeard's crew and their specialities. I also gave him the location name of their future showdown, Banaro island. I could have told Ace that he would find Blackbeard at Mock Town around the time we are there too. But there is the possibility that he could harm one of us and bring us Strawhats in danger. So I thought it would be better to lead him to Banaro Island instead. With the civilians already fleeing the city, Ace could go wild.

''Whenever he gloats, burn him. Whenever he is yapping about his powers, burn him. Whenever he is talking shit about what you hold dear. Burn. That. Bitch!

Burn him until there is nothing left but ashes. And then burn the ashes too,'' I said with venom in my voice.

''For someone who doesn't want to kill, you sound very murderous,'' noted Ace.

''I'm not giving the details. But I've seen enough in my visions to outright hate that guy. So I will do what I can to prevent him from succeeding in his outrageous plans.''

Just thinking about what Blackbeard have done in the canon made me feel angry. Although I had to admit it was impressive how he pulled off to become a Yonko. It was his methods that made me hate him.

''Anyway,'' I continued. ''Don't let him touch you and beware if his black hole. It sucks. Hard.''

''I will handle him. So you don't need to worry about me,'' said Ace.

Tell that to a worrywart. I sighed and looked at the horizon. The sky was already turning darker as the sun was setting.

We have to set up camp soon.

-GWTF-

Nothing really weird happened that night. I was afraid that my snoring would keep Ace awake, but he looked pretty fresh this morning. Guess he was used to sounds of snoring due to his lifestyle as a kid.

Anyway, it was in the morning that we finally found a trace of civilisation. And no, it wasn't a lost one. It was a village located in a rocky valley that didn't look that bad.

We managed to scale the walls without being noticed. Which was pretty strange, as two people riding a wall-climbing gecko should be a sight to behold. Or maybe it was because the guard with a forehead tattoo freaked out about sand pirates.

So Ace and I did what every sensible person would do; we followed the guard. Did I already mention that this world has a different kind of reason than where I'm originally from? Must be the anime logic.

''Aniki! Trouble! We've got trouble, Aniki!'' yelled the guard we were stalking.

''What is it?'' asked a guy with messy blonde hair and shoulder pads. ''Keep it down will ya? We're eating here!''

My eyes went to the table with food and drinks as the four man were discussing their current situation.

''Alright, we'll turn tail and get the hell outta here,'' said the leader of the three men.

''YOU'RE RUNNING AWAY!?'' yelled his cronies.

I almost joined them in their yell, weren't it for Ace covering my mouth with his hand. As I turned my head in his direction, he pointed at the table.

I nodded and made ourselves comfortable at the table to eat our fill.

I wasn't that comfortable though. It's not that these guys would be a challenge to beat when necessary, but the fact they would give up without a fight. I understand that they want to stay alive, but at the expense of a whole village without doing something in return? That's just dishonourable!

Guess Dorry and Brogy rubbed off more on me than I thought.

''You guys sure got guts calling yourselves the Rebel Army with that cowardly attitude.'' Said Ace while chewing on the food. ''For four big guys, you're trying to do something awfully small.''

''The people here give you food and lodging, and this is how you repay them?'' I said as I chomped on a piece of meat. ''Despicable.''

''Who the hell are you two?'' growled the tattooed forehead. ''Mind your own business! When did you get in here?''

''Food thief!'' yelled a small guy with boxing gloves and a… knitted hat. Who would wear a knitted hat in this hot country?

I just continued eating and drinking as Ace gave the Three Stooges a hollow sounding beat-up.

''Alexandra, could you pass me the rice please?'' asked Ace afterwards like there wasn't a fight at all.

''Sure thing,'' I answered as I handed over the bowl of rice to him.

He wolfed down the complete bowl and held it up in the direction of the flabbergasted blonde.

''Seconds please.''

''Yes, yes, yes, yes!'' said the blonde dude nervously. ''Please excuse our impertinence.''

''The food here's good,'' I said with my mouth full.

''Yes! Thank you, Miss!''

Teehee, that guy is afraid of me as well. Being around a strong person does make you being feared by proxy.

Well, it seems like he was trying to hide the fact that he was almost peeing his pants by bowing down in our direction.

''I beg your forgiveness!'' blondie cowered. ''I'm now aware that you are no ordinary people! As you can see, we are no match for the Sand Pirates! We need you to fight them for us! Please lend us your strength!''

''Well, I guess I can help you,'' said Ace while chewing.

''But not without something in return,'' I added with a smirk as I threw some veggies to the gecko to eat.

''Sure, just name it!'' said the fake rebel.

Ace and I looked at the blonde with a grin.

-GWTF-

''OI!'' shouted Ace as we rode the gecko trough the desert. Well actually, I was sitting on a barrel with water that was loaded on a sled full with supplies. Said sled was pulled by the gecko.

''Ace! Sandra!'' The rubber captain happily ran towards us.

''What the heck is this?'' he asked as he pointed at the tired gecko.

''Well, well. They said the Sand Pirates were coming, but it is just you guys,'' said Ace as he dismounted the gecko.

''Huh? What're you talking about? If you're looking for the Sand Pirates, they left a little while ago.''

I grinned widely as I saw the rest of my crewmates coming into view.

''Supplies motherf-, my friends!'' I shouted.

''Alexandra-chan-! You've returned to bless us with food!''

I felt sweat leaving my head as Sanji was eying the food and me like he was the happiest man on earth. Is this planet even earth? I have no idea.

''Just make sure everyone gets well fed and hydrated,'' I said awkwardly.

I turned around to see Luffy and Chopper almost literally drowning themselves in the water.

''Don't spill anything!'' I shrieked.

Of course, questions were asked about the origin of the supplies. Vivi wasn't very pleased to hear that some fakes pose for the Rebel Army to get food and lodging.

''The Rebel Army isn't just a bunch of hooligans, or a decorative symbol to be displayed…''

I scratched behind my ear as Vivi talked. So yeah, posing like somebody else is bad, but why that has to do with symbols, I don't completely get. Maybe because it would be an insult for the ones who really represent said symbol? I had trouble imagining that. Maybe because I never really stood for something big. I'm just an average civilian who tries to get by in daily life. Well, until I got in this world that is. Now, I happen to be a freaking pirate.

But what does it mean to be a Straw Hat Pirate? Finding One Piece? Fighting for the sake of your nakama? Well that sounds like something I can stand for. That and doing what I think is right.

''Hey, let's go,'' I heard Ace say to me as he nudged my side.

''Huh what?''

''We're going to test some men.''

-GWTF-

Ace and I stood with our backs against the stone wall in the village street as we overheard how the citizens announced the arrival of ''Special Edition Pirates'' that threaten their peaceful village to the main subject of the plan.

''300 Belly that at least one of them will piss their pants,'' I muttered.

''We will see…'' Ace grinned while his hat casted a shadow over his eyes, giving him a slightly sinister vibe.

I pulled the flap of my hood over my own face as the fake rebels passed us by on the main street.

Ace gestured to follow him and I gave him a nod. Up to now, everything went according to the plan he explained earlier to me.

-GWTF-

How it happened I don't know for sure, but somehow we managed to hid ourselves in the huge village gate. Perhaps thanks to the Rule of Cool, Ace and I were right underneath the ceiling of the gate. Ace looked like some sort of Spider-Man as he had spread his limbs to get footing in the corner that connected two walls and the ceiling.

I was having trouble keeping myself airborne with a continuous Geppo. Kick too hard and I would bump my head on the ceiling. Kick not hard enough and the arc of the gate wouldn't hide me and make me visible for everyone to see.

I'm not a fan of the CP9, but my respect for their techniques just increased a lot.

Thank goodness I heard the sound of approaching footsteps.

''Now listen. We'll only have a split second. When we're sure where the pirates are, we run like hell the other way! Got it?''

''We read you loud and clear.''

''Let's do this!

One!

Two!

Three!''

I heaved a sigh as the four men ran out of the opened gate. Finally, I could descent. To stay covered, I hid between one of the doors and the wall as I massaged my overexerted legs. They were hurting like bitches.

''Are you okay?'' whispered Ace.

''Peachy,'' I answered. I couldn't help but grin through my pain while I heard Luffy taunting the men.

''What should we do, aniki?''

''We've got no chance of escape.''

Those guys were ready to bolt if it weren't for the fact that their escape routes were blocked.

''Hey, you guys!''

Hearing Ace talking loudly while he was next to me surprised me a bit.

''Ace-sama…?''

''Please save us…''

''This is _your_ fight,'' he explained to the nervous men. ''Try getting through it by yourselves.''

''But that's impossible, we're just fakes…''

''You either die a hero, or live the rest of your miserable lives as the fakes you are,'' I summarized.

''Alexandra-sama?''

''Aniki, what should we do?''

''Hey you pirates!'' shouted the blonde. ''We aren't the only Rebels here! In this village, 100.000.000 men await my orders! So leave while you still can!''

What?

''WHAT!? 100.000.000!?'' yelled Luffy.

I promptly facepalmed. Seriously, how could an amount like that even fit in the village?

It seems like Luffy caught on the lie, as he was preparing for an attack, and punched the blonde in the face. Said blonde was blown away at least 50 meters!

It wasn't the first time I saw it, but Luffy's stretching looked so weird. The three fakes that weren't hit didn't expect Luffy's move at all and looked ready to faint on the spot.

''What was that!?''

''It's an ability of the Devil Fruit!''

''He got blown away!''

The guys trembled on their legs as Luffy approached them with a sick grin that creeped me out for a bit.

''Hey Ace, isn't he derailing the scenario right now?'' I whispered under the yells of desperate onlookers.

-GWTF-

Pain.

His face knew only pain.

''Camus-oniichan!''

Was that… a child?

''Don't give up!''

''The pirate is coming!''

But he can't do a thing!

''Keep trying!''

''Onii-chan!''

His mind felt like it was slipping away. He could already hear the sounds of playing children. Then the sounds got replaced by cheering as he saw the King and his Royal Guards marching through the streets. It was like he was that little kid again. Running along the camels as he waved at the pride of Alabasta.

O, how he admired the warriors of Alabasta.

One day, he will grow up to be strong like them.

A strong warrior, a hero, like he saw as a kid.

Someday…

 _''_ _This is_ your _fight. Try getting through it by yourselves.''_

Would this be the moment?

 _''_ _You either die a hero, or live the rest of your miserable lives as the fakes you are.''_

-GWTF-

Whelp, Luffy was almost near the Three Stooges and yet they didn't do a thing. Guess the plan was a flop. So I was thoroughly surprised as the blonde managed to get on his feet and grabbed Luffy's wrist in a desperate action to protect his buddies.

He was panting, non-comically bleeding from his nose and looking like a wreck. But he gathered the balls to actually do something.

''Aniki!''

''We may be just a bunch of fakes,'' the blonde leader said with determination in his voice. ''But I want to be strong like the heroes I saw that day. I'm just a hoodlum now… but…''

The guy was having trouble with breathing, yet he didn't seem to give in to his fears.

''Even if my dream can't come true, I can't take the dreams away from those kids up there. Even if I can't beat you know, those kids will someday! And for their sake, I'll fight!''

Forget the soap series on the telly. This was real, and so much better than those make-up/break-up scenario's.

''If I'm going to be remembered as an worthless hoodlum, I'd rather become a hero for this one moment and die!''

With the power of adrenaline, he punched Luffy in the face!

My first instinct was to check whether my captain was okay or not, but I was supposed to be one of the mysterious mentors for the fakes. So I gritted my teeth and watched as the others approached my crewmates and tried to attack them.

''I WILL BE A HERO WITH ANIKI!'' yelled the sumo guy.

That seemed to be the sign for tattoo forehead swordsman and knitted headwear boxer to jump in the fray.

Those four guys were still scared, yet they were standing their ground and tried to do what's right.

''You guys…''

The only thing that we needed to do was to wait for the signal to retreat.

''Pirates or whatever you guys are! Bring it on!'' shouted the leader with vigour. ''I won't let a single one of you set one foot into our village!''

Funny he said that, as Ace and I are pirates too and walked in said village freely.

Luffy laughed loudly. ''That's the spirit! Now I'm in the mood to go kick Crocodile's ass!''

As the ''vicious'' pirates retreated, Ace and I sneaked away to join them.

With the joyous cheers of the villagers covering the sounds, I petted the gecko who stood near the wall looking like an idiot.

''Thank you for your help, buddy,'' I said. ''Now be free.''

The gecko blinked once at me and then ran off.

I could've kept him around as an mount. But to be honest I felt a bit bad about the way I treated him. So offering him freedom seemed like the best to me.

With a burst of speed, I managed to reach my crewmates who were still running.

''How long are you guys planning to run for?'' I heard Ace ask Luffy. ''The act's over, right?''

''Y'know, people who throw away their lives are scary!'' admitted Zoro.

Luffy just laughed loudly.

''I see.''

''What do you see, Ace?'' I asked. ''I see only sand and my legs are killing me!''

''Let me carry you, Alexandra-chan-!''

''Okay then,'' I sighed as my legs were cramping up again.

With a fluid motion, Sanji scooped my up and carried me like I was a bride.

''This situation is an exception you know,'' I told Sanji.

''You are exceptional,'' swooned the cook who thankfully had thrown away his cigarette.

My only response was to roll with my eyes.

-GWTF-

With an eventful morning behind us, the hours that followed were outright boring. Okay, sometimes we had some trifle disagreements about the water. But those weren't that exiting. At least the childhood story that Vivi told us was interesting. From the sound of it, she had a bunch of friends as a kid. To be honest, I was a bit jealous. But that isn't surprising if your time as a kid sucked due to bullies.

''Huh? What's that?''

Luffy pointed at a purple coloured thing that stuck out of the sand and moved around. It was round, the size of a Skippy Ball and it had a stinger.

''Scorpion stinger! Back off!'' I warned.

''But I wanted to poke it with a stick,'' pouted Luffy.

Just as I wanted to explain why doing that is a bad idea, the scorpion revealed itself.

''IT'S HUGE!''

''That is a big-ass shitty scorpion.''

''Wow!''

''Three, two, one,'' I counted out loud as Luffy, Zoro, Sanji and Chopper attacked the scorpion.

''Can't I even say ''here we go''? Where is your timing guys?'' As I shook my head, I jumped in the fray, glad to have some action and be able to walk on my own again.

Usopp was panicking like a nut and Ace was enjoying the view as we kicked the scorpion's tail.

''Hey, tell me the rest of the story!'' asked Nami as she showed as much interest in the fight as I do for fashion trends.

It took the duration of the remainder of the story to defeat and cook up the scorpion. I can say it doesn't taste like chicken. Sort of bitter, I guess? It wasn't that bad though. Tell me two months ago to eat a scorpion and I would laugh in your face. But living like this made me less picky about my food. At least when it is some sort of meat.

Sanji ran off towards Nami and Vivi on the camel to offer them a freshly prepared scorpion claw.

''EEEEEHHH!''

''This desert-shrimp is tasty!'' said Luffy with a full mouth.

''Delicious and nutritious,'' I added as I kissed the tip of my fingers like some people do to indicate that something tastes good.

''It's not a shrimp!'' said Usopp as he ate a piece. ''It's a scorpion!''

''I can't eat anymore,'' groaned Luffy with a round belly.

''Big News!'' I shouted. ''Luffy ate his fill! Call the papers!''

''I DON'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS! QUIT SCREWING AROUND!'' shrieked Nami. ''Eyelashes! We're leaving NOW!''

''What's _she_ so pissed about?'' wondered Luffy.

''Who knows…'' muttered Usopp, Zoro, Chopper, Ace and me.

-GWTF-

Due to the scorpion-snack, our lunch was postponed for a few hours. So it was a bit later in the day that we settled down between the rocks to have a proper meal. And like in every meal, there was demands for more and fights over the food.

To prevent my own food from being stolen, I sat near Nami and Vivi. For some reason, it seemed like Luffy didn't try to steal their food that much. And well, from the rock we sat on, we had a clear view of the chaos below.

''Why does every meal turn out this way?'' wondered Vivi.

''Don't look at them,'' grumbled Nami.

''Look. Ace-san has finished eating and he's cleaning his fork and plate.''

I looked in the direction Vivi pointed out as Ace did what she described. For some reason, he wasn't wearing his desert cloak. So I had a clear view on his exposed torso.

''Hey, you're right. He sure is different…''

''Hmhm,'' I mumbled with a nod.

''…than his nincompoop brother,'' said Nami. ''But with his good manners, you'd never suspect that he has such an incredible bounty on his head.''

I have to admit, those freckles looked kinda cute. If you connected the dots, would a picture emerge from it? I chuckled as I tried to imagine it.

''What is it, Alexandra-san?''

''Just a mindfart,'' I answered the princess with a smile.

''Okay…''

''Alright, let's get going,'' announced Nami after she had put out the cooking fire. ''Today is…''

Zoro and Luffy were still fighting over food.

So Nami snapped them out of it with a powerful punch for both of them.

''They really are a bunch of kids,'' I said with a sigh. ''But who am I to judge?''

''You do seem to switch between acting like a child and an adult,'' admitted Vivi.

''The twenties is a strange age. Some people are married and have kids, some still live with their parents, like I did before I got in this world and others are like, I don't know, in jail.''

''I'm surprised you casually talk about being from another world. Doesn't is discomfort you?''

''That's exactly why I talk about it to people I trust. I try to come in terms with it. And while stuff sometimes drives me crazy, my situation is also quite…'' I eyed Ace for a moment. ''….enjoyable at times.''

Wow back off girl. Don't eat the eye candy on the rocks! I haven't put romance on the no-no list for nothing. It would make things awkward. Besides, the Straw Hat crew is already in love with adventure. So I should stop looking at Ace in that way.

''Anyway,'' I continued as I tried to distract myself. ''I often wish I could pause this being an adult thing and lower the difficulty. That's why I act childish. And my maturity level depends on who I'm with.''

''W-Wow! That's so cool!''

What was Luffy shouting about?

''The meat is talking!''

''Talking meat!? Where!?'' I shouted as I bolted up. This world is seriously weird.

''Ah, I see,'' said Vivi quietly.

''The meat! The meat is running away!''

''Where!?''

''Luffy!''

''Hold on, Meat!'' shouted Luffy as he ran off somewhere.

''Oi! Don't split the party!'' I warned.

But well, my captain was already out of sight. He is so darn fast when meat is involved. But how could meat even talk and run off? That was Totland levels of weird. And we aren't even in the New World. I should really think first before shouting something.

Suddenly I heard a gunshot. As none of us carries firearms, it could mean an enemy was nearby. So when I went to the source of the sound with Slasher in my right hand, I was surprised to see two little boys shivering in fear as they looked in Ace's direction. A smoking gun lay in the sand.

''Who are they?'' asked Usopp.

''Don't tell me there are child soldiers involved here,'' I grumbled as I hid my dagger. Ace could beat them if they would pose some sort of danger. Besides, I don't think I could even attack a child. Unless it was Sugar. Nasty little bitch.

But well, one of the kids asked Ace to find and capture a man. He even had a picture of the target.

Usopp asked the question that came in my mind as well; ''So? Who is this guy?''

''Scorpion. A bounty hunter.''

''A bounty hunter?''

''Is it opposite day or something? Kids asking a pirate to catch a bounty hunter?''

''What are you boys doing following a bounty hunter?''

''Well…''

''I have business with this guy as well,'' interrupted Ace as he studied the picture. ''The man who defeated Blackbeard in Yuba. His name was Scorpion. The reason I'm going to Yuba is to meet him.''

''Eh? He defeated Blackbeard?''

''Sounds like a big pile of shi-err fake news to me,'' I admitted. I just hoped that the two boys wouldn't use the profanity I just uttered. Pirates and cursing is pretty normal, but little kids shouldn't use bad words until they are older.

''Even if it is a lie, I can't risk missing important clues,'' explained Ace.

''Err, didn't I give you some clues yesterday, Portgas D. Ace?'' I said in a slightly irritated tone. Didn't the things I told mean anything to him?

Ace raised an eyebrow in my direction.

''Ace? The real one?'' asked the youngest kid.

''Fire Fist Ace?''

Instead of answering the children, Ace stood up from his squatting position and scanned the horizon.

''What's wrong, Ace?'' asked Usopp.

''Two men… and a bird.''

Must be Haki. Otherwise I had no idea to explain how he sensed that.

Talking about senses: Chopper smelled something too. ''They're coming.''

Indeed, it looked like a dust cloud approached in our direction.

At the top of a sand dune, a man riding an ostrich, probably Scorpion, emerged.

''There you are, Fire Fist Ace!'' he shouted. ''I am Scorpion! The indomitable hero! I have travelled from afar to challenge you! This will be a true battle!''

The two boys hid themselves behind a rock.

''So he's Scorpion…'' muttered Vivi.

''Yo! Is everyone here?'' said a person who sat behind Scorpion on the ostrich.

''L-Luffy!?

''What the hell are you doing over there?'' asked Sanji.

Instead of getting answers on why Luffy was with that guy, Ace and Scorpion got in some sort of staring contest. Okay, it was more like that Ace was studying his opponent while said opponent looked slightly nervous.

''Too bad for you! I'm lucky in a fight!'' said Scorpion. ''Your days of roaring bravely on the seas end today!''

''He's an idiot… a complete idiot…'' muttered the oldest child.

''Well duh,'' I said as I overheard him. ''You shouldn't challenge a Whitebeard Pirate unless you are sure that you can deal with the consequences.''

''What do you mean?'' asked the youngest kid.

''To put it simply: harm one of them and as soon as the others find out, you get the whole Whitebeard crew after your head,'' I explained.

''No way…''

''But Ace is strong. So after he defeats that bounty hunter, he wouldn't rat him out.''

That didn't seem to put the kids at ease, as they got fidgety. Especially after Ace deflected an iron net that was shot at him by getting super-hot. And I mean that literally. I actually winched back a bit as I saw Scorpion rolling over the ground as the heated iron net gave him some burns.

The man stood up and ordered his ostrich to brim him a precorraci-whatever-that-means-rifle.

''Pressurized Corrosive Acid Rifle!'' announced Scorpion after assembling his weapon.

''W-What?''

''Corrosive acid?''

''Sounds nasty.''

''With this, I'll shoot pressurized acid into your body!''

Note to self, don't announce the effects of weapons and attacks to my opponent. Although the intention of this weapon is obvious.

Ace avoided the shots of dangerous liquid by making some acrobatic jumps. Then he made a dash towards Scorpion as the acid missed the mark, and punched the man in the gut. Scorpion waddled away, clutching his stomach, and fell down from the sand dune and out of sight of us onlookers.

''Sorry, but this isn't much of a fight,'' sighed Usopp.

''More like a curb-stomp battle,'' I added.

''That's enough!'' shouted the oldest boy. ''That's enough, Dad!''

''''Dad''?'' said Luffy.

Well, that explains why those boys were looking for Scorpion. But why would he leave his kids alone? What a foolish father.

The kids ran to the other side of the dune while yelling to stop the battle. I didn't hear much on this side of the dune, but I'm sure they were trying to talk their father out of this. I could hear a lot of crying from the kids and some shouts by their father about having dreams and doing the impossible.

Things suddenly got dangerous when somehow a spiked ball exploded at the top part of a long rock. Father and kids were right under the place where the rubble would fall. Luffy prepared to smash the falling rocks but Ace was faster and burned everything away with a Hiken.

Thankfully, no-one got injured and the small family was saved by Ace. Father and sons cried and hugged and promised to go home.

-GWTF-

The sun was setting as the end of another day drew near. Despite the incoming darkness, Ace was planning to leave the group. I don't like the idea of splitting up, but I understood Ace his reasons. He has a traitor to catch, after all.

''Alright then.''

''Are you really leaving, Ace?'' asked Chopper.

''Yeah. Blackbeard isn't in Alabasta. There's no reason for me to stay in this country.''

''Oh.''

''Where are you planning to go next?'' asked Sanji.

''Scorpion told me some guy in the West saw him. And Alexandra had some interesting information as well. So I'm gonna try looking there.''

''Woah, Sandra! You said you wouldn't spoil things!''

''I didn't spoil anything big.'' I told my captain. _Not as big as compared to the shit I saw when things don't go the way I like._ ''Besides I'm helping your brother. Finding somebody isn't that easy in this world. And I'm not telling you what I said to Ace.''

''Luffy.'' Ace threw a piece of paper in his brother's direction.

''Keep it with you, always,'' advised Ace as Luffy looked at the paper.

''What? It's just a scrap of paper.''

''That scrap of paper will let us meet again.''

''Talking about paper.'' I approached Ace and handed him a note. ''Here is my number, in case you need some additional information.''

I just hoped that Ace would forget the silly bet I made with him. I had enough debts at this moment.

''A personal Den Den Mushi? That explains why you slipped water in that place.'' I clearly saw Ace grinning.

''Just take it, okay?'' I pushed the note in Ace his hands and turned back. I can't help it that I need to keep Hayden hydrated in this climate. I just hoped that nobody would see me doing it.

''Oi, your face is red,'' pointed Usopp out.

''S-Shut up!'' Aargh, this is so awkward. Can somebody change the subject?

''Having a younger brother who's a bit on the slow side makes his older brother worry.''

Thank you so much Ace. This will distract the others. And I don't mean that sarcastically.

''He's probably going to keep burning your hands, too. Take care of him for me.'' Ace politely bowed for us as he made that request.

We as the crew gave a solemn nod.

''Luffy, the next time we meet will be among the best.''

''Okay.''

''See you at the top.'' With these words, Ace turned his back and moved in the direction of the setting sun.

''See ya!'' Luffy waved enthusiastically as Ace seemed to disappear in the blazing sun.

I just hoped it wouldn't be some sort of foreshadowing.

-GWTF-

After Ace's departure, we continued our journey to Yuba. As the sun was setting, so did the temperature. While it was a bit more bearable then during the day it didn't mean we weren't sweaty and tired. Usopp was especially hit hard by nature, as he was leaning on a wooden stick with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. If it weren't for the weeks of hot humid jungle at Little Garden, I would've been in the same condition as him.

''Oh yeah, Luffy,'' panted the sniper. ''What was that thing your brother gave you?''

''Well, I dunno. It's just a scrap of paper.''

''A scrap of paper?''

''Let me see that,'' said Sanji as he took the paper out of Luffy's hand. ''It really _is_ just a scrap of paper. It's not a memo or anything.''

Unable to resist anymore, I grabbed the paper and held it with my thumb and index finger. I smiled as I saw the loose part of the paper move in the direction behind me.

''First time I ever had one of these in my hands,'' I muttered.

''You know what it is, Alexandra-chan?''

I nodded.

''You see how the paper seems to point in a certain direction? Well that's where Ace is.''

''Huh?''

''This kind of paper is called a ''Vivre Card''. Instead from a tree like ordinary paper, this is made from a person's fingernail. And it allows you to find the owner of said fingernail. In this case, we can track Ace with it if we need to.''

''So it's a Mystery paper.''

I sweatdropped. ''Something like that, yeah.''

''Can you give me your hat, Luffy?'' asked Nami.

The Vivre Card moved from me to Nami who sewed the card onto the back of the straw hat's ribbon.

''This way, you won't lose it,'' said Nami as she handed the hat back to Luffy.

''Thanks,'' he said as Luffy put the iconic hat back on his head.

''Everyone, once we pass that large rock, we'll almost be at Yuba,'' said Vivi. ''Let's keep going just a little more.''

This heightened our spirits as we started to walk again.

''Yeah!''

''Yuba!''

''Yep, Yuba.''

''Yuba!''

''Ah, Zoro, carry me.''

''You wuss.''

''Come on, lean on me.''

''How dare you to let Alexandra-chan carry you!''

''I do what I want. Besides, I support, not carrying him.'' And I stuck my tongue out in Sanji's direction. I'm sure that he is just jealous.

We had to cross several sand dunes until Vivi pointed forward. ''Ah over there. I see something shining.''

''Are we at Yuba?'' asked Luffy. ''There is so much sand blowing around, I can't tell.''

As we all looked forward, I vaguely saw the silhouettes of buildings. But something seemed wrong. I got a strange foreboding feeling. Like something was amiss.

''What is that sound…?'' muttered Vivi. ''Something isn't right there!''

The wind was increasing and I realised something.

''A sandstorm!'' confirmed Vivi with a shriek. ''Yuba is besieged by a sandstorm!''

Shit! That isn't good at all.

As we approached Yuba, the sandstorm dissipated. But the damage was clearly visible. Big parts of the city were covered in sand. Trees were completely dried out.

''This is pretty bad… This place isn't any better off than Erumalu,'' said Zoro.

''Were is the water?'' wondered Luffy.

''Isn't this supposed to be an oasis, Vivi-chan?''

''The sand has raised the ground level… The oasis has been swallowed…''

We looked as we heard the sound of a shovel. In a hole, a man was digging.

''You're passing travellers, right?'' he asked in a creaky voice. ''You must be tired from your trip across the desert. I'm sorry. It seems this town's a little dried up at the moment.'' The man turned his face in our direction. ''But at least I hope you can at least get some rest before you go.''

Vivi covered her face to prevent the citizen from recognising her.

''If you're looking for inns, there is plenty to choose from,'' the man continues while digging. ''After all, that's what we're known for here.''

''Excuse me…'' said Vivi as she still covered her face with her hood. ''We heard the Rebel Army has been using this town as a base…''

''What business do you have with the Rebel Army!?'' spat the man. ''Don't you dare tell me you're actually thinking of joining them!''

I took a step back from hearing his outburst. And I almost dropped Usopp in the process.

''Those _fools_ have left already.''

''WHAT DID YOU SAY!?''

''That can't be!''

''You saw the sandstorm that just blew through, right? It's not the first. This three year-long drought has caused the sands to dry up. And sandstorm have been continually ravaging this town. Swallowed bit by bit, the great oasis of the past is now in the state you see here. Without the commerce of the city to support it, the Rebel Army's protracted war could not continue. They relocated themselves to Katorea.

Vivi's looked shocked ''Katorea!?''

''Where is that, Vivi?'' asked Luffy. ''Is Katorea nearby?''

''It's the oasis right next to Nanohana.''

Fuck! How could I have forgotten this important detail? I could have prevented this long trek in the desert. We would've been speaking with the rebels and probably saved dozens of lives in the process. Because as things are going like in canon, a lot of unnamed unknown people would die in the war.

''Katorea!?'' said Chopper surprised. ''That's the town where I got lost and met Eyelashes!''

Said camel began to speak.

''Eyelashes says he was delivering supplies to the rebels in Katorea!''

And then the camel got beaten up by Luffy, Sanji and a suddenly recovered Usopp.

As the animal rights got violated once again, I sneaked away to a nearby building and squatted down near the wall, hoping that nobody would notice me. After all, I'm supposed to know everything. Everyone is going to be so angry with me.

''OI, OSSAN! VIVI'S NOT A PRINCESS OR ANYTHING-!'' ''DON'T TELL HIM, DIMWIT!''

Oh. That would be the part where the old man is revealed to be that guy Vivi talked about in her backstory. I feel so stupid that I forgot this part of the Alabasta Arc.

''I'm a failure,'' I muttered.

No wait. This isn't the time to beat myself up for everything that isn't going as I like it to be. I have to keep my gaze at the future. Weren't we supposed to break into Crocodile's casino? And I did remember the battles in the capital city.

''You look tired Alexandra-chan. You should take a rest.''

I looked up and saw Sanji who held his arm in my direction. I took his hand and he helped me to stand up. I mumbled a small ''Thanks'' and I followed the crew into the inn. As we entered a room with several bunk beds, I immediately climbed a ladder to get on top of the first bunk bed I saw.

''Okay, everyone! We've had a rough day!'' I heard as I dropped my shoes near the ladder.

I peeked underneath my bed to see Usopp standing next to the lower bunk bed.

''Let's take a little rest to replenish our strength for tomorrow. Good night.''

As Usopp tried to fall asleep, Zoro threw a pillow at him.

''You've been doing nothing the whole time!''

''Asshole… Don't compare me to the rest of you monsters!''

Bam! A pillow thrown by Usopp landed right on Zoro's face.

''That is IT,'' growled the swordsman.

Chopper was send flying by a pillow.

''And besides, today's prize for slacking should go to you, Blue-nose!'' yelled Usopp.

''But I can't stand the heat!''

''Guys please,'' I said as I pried Chopper from Usopp's face. ''Can't we wait with this until morning?''

''Sanji-san, that's my…''

''Yes, I thought you'd be lonely sleeping by yourself tonight-''

As Sanji was in the bed Vivi wanted to use in the draw-me-like-your-French-girl-style, a pillow flew right into his face.

''And what the hell do you think you're doing over there?'' asked Usopp with a sneer as Chopper giggled and I gave a stern look.

''Oh, someone's got guts. Which one of you threw that at me?''

''It is I, LeClerc!'' I said as I pushed the bridge of my glasses with my middle finger.

''Eeeh!? But why?''

I groaned and Sanji got another pillow in the face. This time from Usopp.

Said pillow returned quickly as a fierce kick accelerated it.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Zoro approaching, wielding three pillows like they were katana. I jumped out of the way as Usopp got pummelled and Nami yelled something.

Everything after that was a blur as I smashed my pillow around to defend myself.

''Eat feathers, bastards,'' I laughed.

-GWTF-

My eyes were on the verge of closing and staying closed as I was trying to eat my breakfast. Last night I was plagued with dreams of Ace getting captured by Blackbeard and Luffy being skewered by Crocodiles hook. I tried to stay awake so I wouldn't get more nightmares, but I failed as my last dream contained the unholy fusion of several future villains who tried to kill everyone I knew from my own world as I was forced to watch. I tried to give myself awesome powers in these dreams like I often do to defeat anything nightmare-ish. But somehow even that didn't work.

I rubbed my face as I tried to wake myself up when I saw something weird in my hand.

''Oi, wazthiss?''

''That's a nose-strip,'' explained Chopper.

''Whuh-why?''

The answer contained some medical words I didn't understand with a half-awake brain. But I think it was to prevent snoring.

''Oi, are you okay?'' asked Usopp as he nudged me.

''Huh?''

''You were yelling things in your sleep.''

''Like what…?''

''I dunno. It was in some strange language.''

''Sandra, what's a ''klootzak''?''

''Please don't tell me I kept you guys awake whole night,'' I sighed.

''It was just in the morning,'' grumbled Zoro.

''What's an ''eikel''?''

Urgh. My head feels heavy.

CLONK!

''Aaargh! Alexandra fainted!''

''HIIYAAAAH!''

''O no. Was she bitten by a Strawberry Spider?''

''A what?''

''It's an innocent looking spider, but anyone bitten by it will suddenly die after a few days.''

''Sandra's dead!?''

I slowly rose my head from the bowl of food. Porridge dropped from my face as I gave an annoyed look.

''Can't I get some shut-eye please?''

''ZOMBIE!''

I rolled my eyes and dropped my face right back in my food.

-GWTF-

My brain wasn't fully awake as we left Yuba, so Vivi offered me her place on Eyelashes' back, which I quickly accepted. So I was hanging against the seat on the saddle and was almost sleeping as I heard some commotion.

''WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?'' yelled Sanji.

I looked up and saw Luffy sitting against a tree with an annoyed expression.

''Vivi,'' said Luffy.

''Yes?''

''I want to beat the crap out of _Crocodile!_ If we stop all those rebels, will Crocodile stop? Even if we reach Katorea, there's nothing we can do. We're pirates. You're better off going without us.''

What? Katorea? Aren't we supposed to go to Rain Daze, or whatever that place is called?

''That… That isn't…'' stuttered Vivi.

''All you want is for no one to die in this battle,'' continued Luffy. ''Not the people of your country. Not any of us. You're taking on a Shichibukai Pirate in a battle over a million people are preparing to fight in. And all you want is for no one to get hurt.

Aren't you just fooling yourself?''

Ouch, those words had to hurt. Vivi was already shaking.

''Wait Luffy, can't you try to understand Vivi's feelings?''

''Nami-san, wait.''

''But…''

''What's wrong with that!?'' snapped Vivi. ''What's wrong with not wanting anyone to die?''

''People die,'' stated Luffy.

And _that_ was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Vivi slapped Luffy so hard that he was send flying.

''Stop talking like that!'' yelled Vivi. ''I'm not going to let you that say again! That's exactly what we're trying to prevent! Not the Rebel Army, not the Royal Army… No one in this country is at fault! So why does anyone have to die!?''

I was too afraid to say it. But wars aren't about who's right, but who's left. Being from a world where news about wars and the corresponding suffering are daily accessible teached me that cruel truth.

''Then why are YOU risking your life!?'' yelled Luffy as he punched Vivi who fell on the ground.

''Oi Luffy, that's going too far!'' shrieked Usopp.

''Dammit, Luffy!'' growled Sanji.

I tried to hide on the saddle as I averted my eyes. I can't handle conflicts like these.

''From looking at this country, what needs to be done most…''

SLAP!

''What of it!?''

SLAP!

''…is even…''

SLAP!

''…clear…''

SLAP!

''…to me…''

SLAP!

''You think risking your one life is going to be enough!?''

SLAP! PUNCH!

''Then what am I supposed to risk!?

What am I-!

I have nothing else to risk…

Nothing…''

''Try risking our lives along with yours!

WE'RE YOUR NAKAMA!''

I heard Vivi gasping and I peeked carefully to see her starting to cry.

''What? So it turns out you do cry,'' said Luffy as he picked up his straw hat.

''You're the one suffering the most, and you want to beat the hell out of him more than anyone.''

I saw Nami giving the crying Vivi a comforting hug.

''Now tell me. Where is Crocodile!''

-GWTF-

AN: Hey there everyone. Sorry for not updating my story for so long. I got… distracted. By real life. Don't worry though, things are going fine with my life. Except that I still haven't got a drivers licence., and got a writer's block during February instead. But now I sound like complaining about first world problems.

So I would like to thank you for your patience. For everyone who began to followed/fave'd since chapter six; welcome and enjoy your stay ^^

Review corner:

Gamelover41592: Thank you so much. I came home from working outside in the rain and your words brightened up my day. And yep, slapping was bound to happen.


	8. First blood

AN: As the title implies, this chapter contains blood. Also violence and death.

 **8\. First blood**

The die has been cast. After the emotional slapping event, Vivi admitted that Luffy was right and that we should go directly for Crocodile himself. So now we were traveling towards Rainbase, the place where Crocodile got his own base.

But yeah, walking through the desert is getting annoying. I wished it was possible to fast-forward time until the moment we would reach the city.

Hear my reason:

''Aaah…''

''Aaah…''

''Come on, I've already told you two to quit with the 'Aaah's!''

I could only shake my head as I walked behind Luffy and Usopp. I was awake enough to travel without any mounts, thanks to the unhappy slapping earlier. But now I had to deal with those annoying sounds.

''Shut up! You're one to talk, riding that camel!''

''Yeah, let us ride too!''

''You dumb camel-woman!''

''Nami-camel!''

The lack of creativity in their insults baffles me.

''Chopper, you're not passing out today,'' pointed Zoro out to the reindeer who walked next to him.

''Yeah, I have to try harder.''

He is growing up so fast.

''Vivi, will there be water at Rainbase?''

''Yes, that area is still prosperous. The city has nearly been unaffected by the rebellion and is renowned for its gambling.''

''Gambling!?''

How in the world did Nami's eyes change in Belly symbols? And where did that 'kaching' sound come from?

''Oi, oi. Just what are you thinking!?'' grumbled Zoro.

''So even here in Alabasta, there's still a happy city left,'' noted Sanji.

''GOMU GOMU NO, DAME DA!''

In front of me, I saw Luffy doing his best to keep a small barrel of water away from Usopp by stretching his arms out of the reach of the sniper.

Luffy's arms went in all directions as Usopp was trying to grab the barrel.

''No! No way!''

''Give it to me!''

''GOMU GOMU NO, DAME DA!''

''Come on. Just one sip! He gave it to us to drink, right?''

''That dried-up Ossan spent a whole night digging up this water! So we're not just gonna drink it in one gulp, you dork!''

''Wow, even you can restrain yourself at time, huh?'' wondered Nami.

'' 'Course I can! How rude! HOW RUDE!''

I couldn't help but giggle.

''And what are you laughing about!?''

''It's just that you treat this water in the same way as I treat a good whisky. Not drinking it away like its nothing, but enjoying every single sip.''

''Can't go another step…'' gasped Usopp. ''Wa-Water…''

I handed my bottle over to Usopp who guzzled it down rapidly.

''Oi!'' I shouted as I took back my bottle. ''What did I say about enjoying drinks?''

''Shaddap! This isn't whisky.''

''This isn't the water of life, but our lives do depend on it,'' I berated.

''So, are we at Rainbase yet?''

''Luffy-san,'' said Vivi as she dismounted Eyelashes. ''Thank you. I could never have become this determined without you.''

''Feed me.''

''Huh?''

''After I kick Crocodile's ass, you gotta feed me until I burst!''

''Yes, I promise!''

Good luck with that. I don't even think that Luffy is able to burst from eating too much. But hey, not my problem.

''Water…''

''You drank the most from my bottle!''

-GWTF-

I pretty much lost the track of time, but after what seemed to be hours of walking, Vivi said the words of liberation:

''We're here.''

''We made it?''

''Rainbase?''

Indeed, a city came into view. The biggest eye catcher was a pyramid-shaped building with a crocodile on top. Finally, there would be some action.

''We're here!''

''YOSH! I'M GONNA KICK CROCODILE'S ASS!''

''Hey, you guys think that Baroque Works knows we're in this country yet?''

Zoro might said it like he asked it to everyone, but he looked straight at me.

''Well… assuming that the killer animal squad made the drawings of Luffy, Zoro and Nami like I've seen in my visions and that Mr. 2 had shown around my face, yes they know. He could have described Usopp and Chopper too but he didn't get their faces. The only one that isn't known by our enemies would be Sanji,'' I explained.

''What about it?'' grumbled Luffy.

''They'll recognise our faces or common traits. We can't go running around all over Rainbase,'' summarised Usopp.

''WHY NOT!?'' snapped Luffy.

''Because if they found us first, there's no way we'll be able to lay a hand on Crocodile,'' explained the sniper.

''Assassination is their field of speciality, after all,'' added Zoro.

''Even though compared to the future enemies, they would be assassins with capital ass,'' I chuckled.

Zoro eyed me suspiciously but didn't say anything. Luffy on the other hand…

''COME ON OUT SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS, CROCODILE!''

''Were you even paying attention to the right things, you dork!?'' Usopp clonked Luffy on the head.

''But with the enemy not knowing about me, I'll be the one who protects Nami-san, Vivi-chan and Alexandra-chan!'' Said Sanji. ''You three can call me Prince!''

Urgh. I never want to see a combination of bishie-sparkles and a cigarette again.

''Prince,'' said Zoro flatly.

''I'LL KILL YOU, BASTARD!''

''Prince…!'' said a gasping Chopper and Usopp. ''Water!''

''Prince… ess Black Lungs,'' I said.

''Why? Why!?'' bemoaned Sanji.

''Shut up! We are almost there.''

''First things first, I need water!'' said Usopp.

''ME TOO!'' shouted Luffy.

Both boys ran towards the city while shouting ; ''Water! Water!'' like madman.

''Ah! Take some money with you!''

''Too late for that Nami,'' I sighed. ''But they will be fine. Luffy got experience in dine-and-dashing.''

''That doesn't sound fine at all!''

''Let's wait for Luffy-san and Usopp-san at the edge of the city,'' opted Vivi.

I was seriously glad to have found some shade and civilisation. But there was something else that has to be taken care of.

''Gotta pee,'' I said.

''I need to take a leak too,'' said Chopper in his reindeer form.

''Let's go together then. Onwards to the toilets!''

Chopper giggled a bit as he followed me.

''Do you know where to find them?''

''I just enter the first restaurant I see. Or are public toilets here a thing too?''

''Why wouldn't they be?''

''A, ok.'' I scratched the back of my head and adjusted my hood a bit. ''Then you could smell them.''

''Uhu,'' nodded Chopper. ''This way.''

-GWTF-

It seemed like Chopper was right about public toilets. And they were pretty clean. So I had the privacy of doing what must be done. Thank goodness my period was over too. Having that while being in the desert was not fun. But now I'm free of any bloody pain and ready to rumble.

I checked myself in the mirror. Thanks to the desert clothing and my sunglasses, I looked almost completely different from when I encountered Bon Kurei on the Merry. The only thing that could give my away was my dented chin. I held my head low in my garb to make sure nobody could see it and stepped out in the hot sun.

''So it is really true,'' mused Chopper when I got outside.

''What is true?'' I asked as we walked back to where the others are waiting.

''Usopp once told me that woman are scary because they stay longer at the toilet then men.''

''What?''

''It had to do something with monthly demons…'' continued Chopper.

Wow really? I gave the reindeer a flat look and I sighed. ''He was probably talking about menstruation.''

''Ooh of course.''

''I'm so gonna have a chat with Usopp these days…'' I grumbled as we walked back to the others.

''Where'd everybody go?''

''Huh?''

''Everybody is gone.''

I just followed Chopper as he sniffed around like a bloodhound.

''Their smells go to different places. What is going on?''

''Err, lemme think.''

What happened at this part again? Mr. Prince, Seastone cage, Smo-

''MOVE IT!''

I barely had the time to scoop up Chopper –who morphed in his small version- in my arms and run to the side of the street as a bunch of Marines bulldozed over the pavement.

''Watch where you going! Speed devils! Sunday drivers! Road pirates!'' I shouted while shaking my fist in anger at a disappearing dust cloud.

As some of the Marines turned back with angry expressions on their faces, I realised I said this world equivalent of ''Fuck da Police!''. Especially ''Road pirates'' would've been an insult to them. Why did I have to use some Dutch insults that I translated in English anyway?

''Find Sanji and join him in his shenanigans,'' I said as I put Chopper down. ''I'll distract those guys. Don't worry about me.''

''But…''

''Hold up!''

''Yes, I'm talking to you! Misplaced Justice boys!'' I shouted in the direction of the incoming Marines as I put my right pinkie in my nose, stuck out my tongue and held my left hand behind my ear, all to taunt the Marines.

I then turned my back at them, bended a bit over and slapped on my ass. ''Come and get me!''

I didn't give any fucks for what they shouted next, as I ran off and hoped that they would ignore Chopper.

When I was a decent, law-abiding civilian in my own world, I would have never done something like this. But now I'm a pirate who get chased by Marines with a short fuse. And I was actually enjoying it! Laughing like a madman, I ran through streets and alleys, throwing trash behind me and calling names to my pursuers. Now I understood why people like to mess with the authorities.

-GWTF-

''Chopper, wasn't Alexandra-chan with you?'' asked Sanji with concern in his voice.

With everybody split up, he was happy that he found the young reindeer. Chopper was lucky that the clumsy Marine who just went away didn't suspect anything. But wasn't Chopper with Alexandra-chan?

''She's distracting some Marines and told me to find you.''

On que, a figure in a green desert cloak approaches in high speed. With the hood blown off, a sunglasses-wearing blonde with a dented chin passes the two pirates while shouting some sort of tune; ''Tee dee dee tee dee dee! Tuu duu! Can't touch this!''

''Get over here!'' yelled one of the Marines who is pursuing the female.

A bead of sweat drops from Choppers head. ''She is… having fun…''

''Aaah, we can't let Alexandra-chans valiant efforts go to waste,'' swooned Sanji as he looked to the disappearing cloud of dust. ''Let's find that shitty croc,'' he said as he put on a set of glasses.

-GWTF-

Sadly my fun ended when I realised that I actually shook those Marines off. Whenever I run or ride my bicycle, I like to go fast. Add the fact that I've been training my speed, stamina and agility on a dinosaur-infested jungle island means I can outrun normal people without much effort. I just happened to have a sprained ankle in Nanohana that slowed me down that time.

But yeah, now I found myself alone in an empty alley with no Marines after my ass.

Perhaps I should go to Rain Diners to help Sanji with his ''Mr. Prince'' act.

''Hold it right there!''

O, so they found me?

I turned around and saw to my surprise not the Marines, but a bunch armed men in civilian clothing. However, the initials BW on some of their clothing pointed me on the fact that they weren't ordinary civilians.

''First Marines, now Baroque Works?'' I wondered loudly.

''Yep, same chin,'' said one guy with an axe who was holding a piece of paper in his hands. I would eat my hat if that wasn't a picture of a certain okama posing as me. But how did they know that the cloaked woman which is me is their target? My hood must have flown off during the chase.

''You have nowhere to run now, noisy woman!'' announced a guy holding two daggers.

I heard the clicking of several firearms behind me. ''Now die!''

I'm dead.

Ahem. I would be if this was my own world.

I kicked the air. ''Michael Jackson*!'' And got several meters up in the air. Beneath me, I heard shouts of agony as some mooks got shot by their colleagues.

''That bitch!''

''Where is she?''

I moved to a roof and landed there. As I peeked over the edge, I saw several man gaping at me.

''Did she just fly!?''

''What the hell!?''

''I saw her panties!''

''Shut up, Mr. Roars!''

Weren't those guys supposed to get clobbered by someone else? Guess it's up to me to defeat them. but guns could be a bit of a problem for me. Perhaps I can arrange a surprise attack? But I need to get some distance first.

So I dashed over the roof and jumped onto another one. As I was running over roofs, some of those guys entered the roofs I previously visited, only to find out I already left it. So basically there were mooks pursuing me through the streets and mooks on the roofs. What a doozy.

Just as I thought I would outrun the Baroque Works Billions, I saw a body on the roof I was approaching. Is it an enemy or someone at my side? Me being curious me, I decided to take a look. I could see it was a male human in mostly white clothing. He lied on his back and despite being unconscious, his face had a pained grimace. His skin looked pale and he had purple face-markings shaped like a single line underneath each eye.

Whelp, it seems like I've found Pell.

''Oi, are you okay?'' I asked as I approached him.

Of course he isn't okay, but I needed to get his attention.

''Oi, what happened?'' I was now on my knees next to him. Thank goodness, his heartbeat and breathing seemed to be okay.

I heard a pained growl; ''Vivi… sama…''

''Vivi isn't here,'' I said as I brought my face in his line of vision. ''I'm Alexandra. Vivi's nakama.''

''Save… Vivi… sama…''

''She's taken to Rain Diners, isn't she?''

''You're… the Oracle…?''

Did Vivi write that about me? Now I feel flattered.

''It's not a big deal,'' I said as I scratched the back of my head. Especially since I failed to remember an important detail. The fact that I haven't been called out about only makes me fear a possible future rage more.

''There she is!''

Shit! The Billions caught up!

''Isn't that Pell!?''

''It's like those ''take one, get one for free'' deals!''

''Get them both!''

''I'm sorry,'' I said as I rose from my position and grabbed Indy while facing the Billions. ''I'm not the type who leaves a wounded ally at their enemies mercy.'' I cracked my whip to intimidate the mooks. Then I flashed a smile in Pell's direction. ''Besides, help is on Vivi's way.''

I gave my whip a big swing in the direction of my enemies. ''Indy Queen of Hearts!''

I had no idea how many people I've hit as I moved away to avoid gunfire.

 _Keep moving. Keep moving. Keep moving. It's just like fighting that horde of Deinonychus. Only they have guns and other weapons._

I grabbed my knives and held them both between the fingers of my left hand.

''Hokey Pokey Left Knuckle!'' I yelled as I punched a guy with a gun in the face.

Before his buddies could hit me, I moved away with Gillette.

My idea was to appear, attack and disappear to keep the Billions away from Pell.

Hit fast and hard.

''Indy Constrictor!'' My whip coiled around the neck of someone. ''Indy Retour Afzender**!'' With a pull, I threw the guy into his comrades.

I saw a bunch of them fall of the roof before I flash-stepped again.

''What the hell!''

''She keeps on disappearing!''

Like a phantom, I kept on slashing, whipping and running. Everything around me was screams and gunfire.

Billons hit each other in panic as I slipped by.

I kept on going. If I stopped, I could be shot.

If I stopped, they could attack Pell.

I slashed a man in the back.

I whipped a man in the face.

Slashing, whipping.

Whipping, slashing.

Blood splattered, bodies fell.

This wasn't like a dino-hunt.

This was…

This was…

A slaughter.

 _Was it always this quiet?_

I stopped and looked at the battlefield while panting. There were bleeding and bruised bodies everywhere. Some people were groaning in pain. But others didn't move…

They didn't move at all.

My hands felt wet and sticky. They shook as I looked at them. Both my knives and the tip of my whip were covered in blood.

My hands were covered in blood.

My whole body began to shake.

Blood.

There was blood on my hands.

I fell on my knees. My weapons fell on the stone ground with a clattering sound.

 _What the fuck did I do?_

I clutched my head between my hands in disbelief.

 _Did I just…?_

 _Did I…?_

 _Kill them…?_

 _Am I a murderer?_

 _I let myself go and killed them…_

 _I fucking killed them!_

 _I'm a murderer!_

I faced the skies.

''GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!''

''Oi, oi. Don't scream that loudly. You are making me deaf.''

 _Who's that?_

I looked in the direction of the voice and saw on the opposite end of the roof a pale skinned guy with messy black hair that reached his shoulders. He wore a jeans jacket and baggy pants. His arms and hands were completely covered by his jacket and grey gloves.

''They are pretty boned,'' the guy said as he carelessly nudged one body with his foot.

Then he aimed his gaze right at me.

He was smiling.

Why is he smiling?

His mouth was in a smile, but his dark eyes with a creepy looking shadow underneath them didn't smile.

How the hell is there a creepy smiley dude with L's face from Death Note in this world?

''Kinda sloppy, but not bad for a first time.'' He held his head in an angle as he kept on looking at me. ''You _do_ react like it's your first time.''

Now that smile was a grin.

''I see potential.''

 _No._

With shaking hands, I picked up my whip.

''S-s-stay… away from me.'' My voice was shaking.

Creepy L was approaching me.

''Leave!'' I tried cracking my whip. But I felt so weak that a barely lifted Indy.

The creep stopped walking as a hand grabbed his ankle. A flash of annoyance was on his face.

''You…'' said the Billion weakly. ''...help…''

''Like I said…'' The pale guy raised a club. With a sickly crack, the Billion was hit on the head. ''… your work was sloppy. But that can be solved with training.''

I gasped for air as I saw this happen.

''You… you…''

''Me?''

''W-why? Why did you k-kill him?''

''Just finishing what you began.''

What?

''Besides, a whole bunch against a single person is unfair.''

He got closer.

''But anyway, you seem to be a speedy fighter.''

He was standing right in front of me.

''Who's your teacher?''

He squatted down and looked right into my face.

 _Too close. Too close. Stranger danger._

''And where did you find that teacher?''

''I-I'm s-self-taught?'' I stuttered.

''Seriously!?'' His eyes popped out in surprise. ''But I've never seen someone this fast after witnessing _that_ person. You really have no connection to ''Bloody Michi''?''

I held my head at an angle. ''Who's that? And who are you?''

''Aaah! Where are my manners?'' he yelled as he facepalmed. ''You can call me Ilar.''

''Eye-lar?''

''You can pronounce it that way if you want. Or just call me Bone Picker. That works too.'' He rummaged in the pocket of his jacket.

''And this…'' he showed me a bounty poster. ''is 'Bloody Michi'.''

The poster showed a person in a hooded cloak with a masked face. The mask didn't cover the mouth area and between the hood and the mask poked out some blue hair. What made the picture so creepy was the fact that this Michi person had their mouth covered by blood and was licking their lips.

''You are a bounty hunter?''

''Was,'' Ilar corrected. ''I got a bounty myself so I don't get a single Belly if I tried to turn someone in.''

He chuckled as if he seemed to reminded something funny before his eyes got serious. That smile didn't disappear though.

''Do you recognise them?''

''Nope. Do you have a bone to pick with that person?''

''Hohohohohone!'' What kind of laugh is that? ''Let's just say it's a personal mission.'' He stared a bit into nothing as he touched his left upper arm with his right hand. He sighed and looked back at me with sharp eyes.

''If I find out that you've been lying about Michi, you'll be boned. Understood?''

I nodded in fear. Seriously, I don't want to know in what sense that 'boned' would mean.

His smile widened after seeing my reaction. Ilar rose from his position and began to walk in the direction of Pell.

''And this is the guy you were defending?''

''What are you going to do with him?'' I jerked up and readied myself. I'm not trusting this guy with Pell.

''Protective huh?'' he murmured.

I already made my way to Pell and stood between him and Ilar.

''Can I trust you?'' I narrowed my eyes. Now that we are both standing, I could see that he was about ten centimetres bigger than I am.

''Said the one who didn't give me her name.'' He gave a smirk. ''And you will never know if you can trust someone. The dependable person of today could be your traitor tomorrow.''

I looked at him, trying not to blink.

I stared.

He stared back at me with that morphing smile of his.

I stared some more.

And I blinked.

Welp, I lost that one.

''Alexandra''

''Nice to meet you, Alexandra,'' he said with a grin. ''Can I take a look at your friend?''

''I never said you could.''

Ilar shrugged. ''Well, not my problem. Although I'm wondering why a group of people would attack a woman and a member of Alabasta's Royal Guard.''

''Ever heard of a criminal organisation?'' I said in a deadpan voice.

''Just like I thought,'' muttered Ilar. ''I will fetch a doctor for that guy, as you don't trust me near him.''

He casually walked away to the side of the roof were the stairs are.

''I'll be back.''

As soon as Ilar was gone I picked up Hokey and Pokey and tried to wipe the blood off with the hem of my desert clothing. It was hard. The blood was already drying and hard to remove.

Somehow, I killed a bunch of people while trying to protect Pell. And the person who saw it happen treated as something normal. What is wrong with this world?

No. What's wrong with me?

The fact that I could take a life someday did slip my mind during the time in Little Garden. But I never thought it would happen so soon. I was naïve to think that something like this wouldn't happen until later.

I took lives.

The idea is sickening.

Ilar's sudden appearance distracted my mind. But with him gone the full realisation hit me like the Puffing Tom in the face.

I'm a killer now.

Even if I could return to my own world, I can never look at the people in the same way again.

''Fuck,'' I muttered.

My swearing was answered by groaning. Some mooks were trying to get up.

I put my knives back in their holsters, despite them not being clean. Then I put my whip back at my belt near my right hip.

''Oi,'' I said as I carefully approached them. ''Take your wounded and death comrades and get out.''

The men glared at me with pure hate in their eyes. Others looked more afraid, but they also looked angry. ''Why would I listen to you?'' one of them asked.

''You guys lost and I'm giving you the chance to get away.'' My voice sounded tired. No surprise considering what happened. ''Or do you want to have bashed skulls too?'' I pointed at the person whose head was crushed by Ilar's club.

''Tsk. You will regret this,'' he said as he and some others limped away.

''Standard line is standard,'' I said coldly. I just hoped that those guys are gone when Ilar returns. What if he finishes them off too? If I can save those mooks, perhaps it could make up for the ones that died.

At the end, I was left alone with unconscious Pell and bodies that didn't move at all. Maybe I can save some more lives.

So I checked the closest body for any vital signs.

No heartbeat.

No breathing.

I sighed as I pushed the eyelids of the deceased person and muttered an apology.

I repeated this process with every body I found on the roof.

I walked a bit backwards as I faced the deceased ones. I slightly bowed my head and closed my eyes.

''Please forgive me. I didn't know what I was doing,'' I muttered.

''Thank… you… for saving... me...''

I turned around in astonishment as I heard somebody behind me.

I sighed as I realised it was Pell who probably witnessed everything. Supported by his sword, he managed to get in a sitting position. His breathing was heavy. That guy seriously needs a doctor.

''Don't thank me,'' I said with my head lowered in shame. ''This would've never happened if I didn't lure them in your direction. And now I'm a killer.'' My hands were clenched in fists and began to shake. ''A bloodthirsty beast! I don't deserve gratitude!''

''A beast wouldn't show respect to their kills. But you did,'' said Pell.

''This whole… slaughter… went against anything I've been raised with.'' For the first time in this world, I was glad that anyone I knew from my previous life wouldn't know about what happened. I don't think I could ever face my old family and friends again.

''Just rest and recover. Do the Zoan thing,'' I told Pell with a monotone voice. ''Some guy is getting you a doctor.''

Everything just became too much for me. I wanted to get out and far away to another place. Some hole I could crawl in and bawl my eyes out sounds nice.

I walked to the edge of the roof. ''O, if somebody's life happened to be in danger… please help that person. Especially if he owns a straw hat.''

After saying these words, I jumped off the roof.

''Oi!''

I did an air jump to get back in Pell's line of sight.

''Gotta go. There are still battles to be fought.''

And then I let myself being pulled by gravity. Just before I would crash in an alley, I jumped one more time to break the landing.

I wanted to get out of here.

And so I ran.

The streets were eerily empty. It was as if the city has turned into a ghost town. The sounds of screaming echoed in my mind.

I want to get out. I want to get out. Get out!

BAM!

Somehow, I tripped over something and I fell forward to land face-first on the ground. With a cough, I managed to get up again.

''Waaaaah! Alexandra! What happened!? You're covered in blood!''

My eyes darted to the direction of the sound to see a small creature with a waay to big desert cloak and a blue backpack.

''Hi Chopper…'' I said with a faint voice.

''We need to get you to a doctor!'' the reindeer stressed as he helped me back on my feet.

''You are the doctor… And that blood isn't mine.''

''O yeah,'' realised Chopper. ''But that isn't the point! What happened!?''

''I battled some Baroque Works guys,'' I said with a shrug.

Just smile. Conceal, don't feel. Saving Alabasta is top priority. Being busy with some sort of trauma can be done later.

''Aren't you trying to escape from someone?'' I asked.

''Ehh? You even know that?'' Chopper recoiled a bit.

I chuckled a bit. Although it sounded sorta mirthless to me.

''Hey Chopper. Have you ever heard about Moving Crabs?''

 _Just smile. There are more important things going on than my state of mind. Keep on smiling._

''Huh?''

''Maybe Eyelashes knows about them,'' I said with a wink.

''I can find him,'' said Chopper as he began to sniff the air.

I quietly followed him. Did I mention that Chopper looks adorable in that big desert cloak? It looked like a kid that tries to dress like an adult.

As we found Eyelashes, Chopper conversed briefly with him.

He really looks comfortable right now.

''Do you mind if I ride you?'' I asked Eyelashes.

I didn't need a translated answer as the camel got heart-shaped eyes.

So I did an air jump to get on the saddle. At the moment I sat down, I realised I felt tired.

And emotionally drained.

So I plopped down on my belly on the saddle, arms dangling on the sides.

And let the exhaustion take me away.

-GWTF-

Somehow, I found myself in a white void. I looked around me but everything was like some sort of mist.

''Victoria Alexandra...''

I blinked as I saw familiar faces appear in front of me. Tears started to well up in my eyes.

''Mom. Dad.''

I ran in their direction with open arms. I wanted to hug them. Embrace them. I missed them.

But as my arms closed around my parents, they disappeared in swirls of mist.

''What have you done?''

I looked behind me and saw them. I wanted to approach them again but their united voices stopped me in my tracks.

''This is not how we know you.''

I stood there with wide eyes.

Some silhouettes formed in the mist behind them. As they got closer, I recognised family, old classmates and my boyfriend.

''What was that all about, Smurf?'' asked my uncle.

''Is this how my favourite niece really is like?'' asked another uncle.

''What the fuck! You shanked those dudes!'' yelled a classmate.

I desperately looked at my boyfriend. He didn't utter a word, but his expression said so much. His face was in pure horror as he stared at me. He slowly stepped back until he hid among other people who appeared.

I realised I was surrounded by familiar faces.

And they began talking too.

''I knew you were aggressive, but a killer?''

''You disappoint me.''

 _No…_

''I always knew it would come to this.''

''Nothing good comes from her.''

''Murderer.''

 _Stop…_

''After everything we did for you.''

''Killer.''

 _Please stop…_

''Beast.''

 _Help me…_

I looked at my parent again.

''Please help me,'' I pleaded.

''Do we know you?'' asked my father.

''I'm your daughter!''

''We don't have a daughter,'' stated my mother.

Faces swirled around in front of me as my parents turned their back to me and began to walk away.

''Mom, dad! Please!'' I cried.

My parent looked back by tilting their necks backwards at an unnatural angle.

''We don't have a child…''

My vision got blurred by tears in my eyes.

''We don't know you…''

''Wait! NOOOOOOOO!''

''…andra.''

What…?

''Alexandra!''

My eyes were blurry from the waterworks. But somehow I saw something orange in front of me.

Huh orange?

''Alexandra, do you hear me? Blink twice of you do.''

The blurry orange image became slightly more clear. As I blinked, I recognised a face I used to see on anime.

''Nami…?''

''Thank goodness, she's back!''

I was sitting on my knees. But somehow it feels like we were moving. Nami sat in front of me and held me by the shoulders. She looked worried at me.

''What happened? Where am I?'' I tried not to cry. Bullies always got me because I was such a cry-baby as a kid.

''We are on the Moving Crab to Alubarna to stop the rebellion. Luffy stayed behind to battle Crocodile.''

I wiped my face with the sleeve of my desert cloak to get rid of the tears. ''So that's what happened while I was gone huh?''

''You looked like you had a shitty nightmare. Are you okay Alexandra-chan?''

I nodded in Sanji's direction. The cook was biting down on a cigarette. ''Yeah, I'm okay.''

''Are you sure? Your clothes are covered in blood.''

''Nothing happened,'' I said as Zoro did in the Thriller Bark Arc. Or is he going to say that?

''But Alexandra-san…'' said Vivi.

''I said nothing happened!'' I snapped. ''Come on Vivi. Your kingdom needs you! I'm not important, okay!?''

I suddenly got bopped on the forehead with a fist by Nami.

''Can't you think about yourself a bit? You are just like Vivi now. Always putting others forward.''

''I'm fine. Thanks,'' I said without emotion.

Don't cry. Don't show weakness. Or people will find ways to destroy you. They will discard you like tomorrow's trash. Distract your mind. Do something different. So I began to sing;

 _''_ _Sweet dreams are made of this_

 _Who am I to disagree?_

 _I travel the world_

 _And the seven seas,_

 _Everybody's looking for something.''_

''What the hell?''

 _''_ _Some of them want to use you_

 _Some of them want to get used by you_

 _Some of them want to abuse you_

 _Some of them want to be abused.''_

Sanji crushed his cigarette with his teeth. Alexandra-chan sounds beautiful when she sings for the crew. Like that short song in the desert.

 _''_ _Sweet dreams are made of this_

 _Who am I to disagree?_

 _I travel the world_

 _And the seven seas_

 _Everybody's looking for something''_

But this time it sounded wrong. Something is paining her and she is hiding it with her voice. Just like that time on the Merry after he offered her food from that shitty big bird.

 _''_ _Hold your head up_

 _Keep your head up, movin' on_

 _Hold your head up, movin' on_

 _Keep your head up, movin' on_

 _Hold your head up_

 _Keep your head up, movin' on_

 _Hold your head up, movin' on_

 _Keep your head up, movin' on''_

He could feel it. She was hurting. And yet she tries to hide it away. Why? Doesn't she know that she can trust us?

 _''_ _Some of them want to use you_

 _Some of them want to get used by you_

 _Some of them want to abuse you_

 _Some of them want to be abused.''_

''Oi. You're sure you're okay?'' asked Sanji.

I gave an annoyed look in his direction. Don't interrupt me when I'm singing.

Seriously. What's up with them, asking whether or not I'm okay?

''Guys,'' I said. ''We are going to face a shitstorm soon. So why don't we just mentally prepare ourselves for it? Besides, there is the wee problem about a certain body of water we need to cross. Our dear cab, err… crab is land-based only.''

''WHAT!? THIS CRAB CAN'T CROSS THE RIVER!?'' realised Usopp with a yell.

''Moving Crabs live in the desert,'' explained Vivi. ''They can't stand the water.''

I nodded. Boy, I'm glad the crew is focussing on something that isn't me.

''But it's a crab! A CRAB!'' yelled Usopp. ''It's not a shrimp, right!? DO SOMETHING!''

Well, I'm never going to tell him about desert-dwelling sand hippo's and sand crocodiles in a certain world with 'mons.

''Oi, this is bad! We're in trouble!'' Usopp grabbed a map from his satchel and pointed out at our current position. ''Look at this! This river is practically an ocean. If we have to cross it, we'll never make it in time! And even if we cross the river, there's still tens of kilometres of desert to cross! If this crab doesn't make it to the other shore, are we just gonna run the rest of our way!?''

''I guess we will do,'' said Nami flatly.

''WE'LL NEVER MAKE IT! There's just no way!''

''Shit!'' muttered Sanji. ''Oi, there's the river! I see the Sandora!''

''What?''

''Please do something, Scissors-kun!'' pleaded Nami.

Scissors? What name is next Nami? Rock and Paper?

''That's it! Scissors loves dancing girls!'' realised Chopper.

Nami dropped her desert cloak to reveal her dancer outfit. ''Like this?''

''Probably.''

''OH MY-!'' swooned Sanji. Both he and Eyelashes had their eyes shaped like hearts.

I don't like being fanservice, but it would distract me from the bloody afternoon events. So I dropped my cloak as well to reveal my green coloured dancer outfit.

Hearts were floating in the air as pervert number three looked at us. And gained speed.

''He accelerated!''

''NAMI-SWAAAN! ALEXANDRA-CHWAAAN!''

''You managed to break two animals with your dumb routine!'' said Zoro.

''Yosh! ERO POWER!'' cheered Chopper.

''And… how does this solve our problem?'' wondered Usopp.

''This is an adaption of the attribute of a certain lizard that can walk over water by running at a high speed,'' I explained as I tried to belly dance to 'motivate' the crab.

''How does that even work?''

''Just like I explained. It does in my world, so in this one where applied bullshit is an actual legit factor, I'm sure it will work,'' I said as I continued with the dance.

The crab sped up even more while I got closer to the eyestalk.

''You're doing so well, you big boy,'' I said as Scissors hit the water and ran on top of it.

''Am I the only one who's disturbed by this?'' grumbled Zoro.

''I never knew Alexandra-chan has such a naughty side.''

I flipped off in Sanji's direction while continuing motivating our mount.

''Yosh! This is great!'' cheered Usopp. ''Just stay on the water's surface the whole way!

Run! Run! Run the whole way!

Go!

You can make it!

You'll get there!

You are a crab, you can do it!

Now start swimming!

Hey hold it!

Is he sinking?

Are we sinking!?

We're sinking!

Aaaaah!''

I would've loved to ask Usopp what he was thinking about in a fake German accent. But there wasn't time for that as we were really sinking into the river. So I just jumped off and started to swim in the water.

''Sooo refreshing. I need a bath after that dirty shit I did.''

''WHY CAN'T YOU SWIM, YOU STUPID CRAB!?''

''We don't have time to stand around screaming,'' said Zoro who had Chopper sitting on his shoulders. ''Keep moving.''

''Oi. J-Just hold on a second,'' said Usopp. ''Aren't there any ships? How far is it to the other shore?''

''About 50 kilometres,'' answered Vivi.

''WE CAN'T SWIM THAT FAR!''

''Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming,'' I muttered as it was a mantra.

Behind us, something rose up from the waters. A ginormous fish thing with a moustache like thing.

''A Rare Sandora Catfish!'' shrieked Vivi. ''They call it that because it's so rare to see one!''

''I've had enough nature specials for today!'' yelled Usopp.

''Don't tell me it eats people!'' I said as the catfish made a huge wave by going underwater.

''Actually it does!''

''SAY THAT PART FIRST!''

I was definitely not planning to end the day as fish food. Swimming for dear life, we screamed as the catfish started to pursue us.

''WE'RE BONED!'' I shrieked.

-GWTF-

''Achoo!''

''Are you okay?'' asked a middle-aged man to the pale male who just sneezed.

''Yeah I'm fine,'' said Ilar as he waved his gloved right hand. ''How is the condition of those two?'' He aimed his gaze at the two beds with both a patient on it.

''They are currently stable. But with the amount of injuries both of them got, they are very lucky.''

Ilar just nodded at the doctor as he heard that. Suffice to say that today was an interesting day.

He already had a feeling in the morning that something could happen. Most people would call that a gut feeling, but he was sure that he felt it inside his bones. Anyway, as the unrest in the country got bigger and Marines had entered Rainbase for some reason, he decided to get away from Alabasta. The trail he chased ended in nothing and he wasn't planning to get struck in an incoming war.

But that afternoon he heard those familiar sounds. Pain. Agony. Death. The sounds that belonged to a slaughter. So he thought he had finally found 'Bloody Michi'. Turns out it was an unfamiliar woman who tried to protect one of Alabasta's strongest warriors. How that situation came to be was a mystery. Just as how the blonde was using the same speed and tactics as his target. The only differences were the weapons she used and the fact that this woman's way of attacking lacked finesse. She looked like she was in a frenzy. Like some wild animal.

Her behaviour afterwards was completely different from how she was during battle. Did she never kill people before? Because that could be the only reason why she reacted like that. But with what has she been training? Fierce creatures?

But hey. He could always hope that she had information on Michi. Sadly she didn't. But well, more reason to leave this bone-dry island. Still, he had the feeling that he should help the woman out. Perhaps he could help nursing the Alabastan warrior. He did have some self-taught knowledge about the human body. She was wary of him though, and didn't let him close to the person she protected. So he went away to fetch a doctor.

As he was searching in the city, he had to avoid a troop of Marines who passed by. They were in pursuit of some hats made of straw? Really, those people don't make much sense for Ilar. Spouting meaningless words about Justice but meanwhile letting things happen that he –with his slightly cracked moral compass- wouldn't accept.

He was happy to be a Bounty Hunter. It allowed him to follow his own morals and codes while still helping people in need. And maybe his target would notice him. There must have been a reason Michi did what they did all those years ago. But ever since that mishap when Ilar was broke and hungry, he got a bounty himself. Life didn't become easier after that. But that didn't stop him from pursuing his goals.

Anyway, after the Marines were gone, Ilar found a doctor who wanted to help despite his looks and reputation as 'Bone Picker'. When he returned to that roof, Ilar was pretty surprised that the woman left her protégé alone. And it also seemed like some of her defeated attackers were gone. O, and said protégé disappeared too. At the end, the only things left on the roof were the bodies of the dead.

So it was back to searching. Again.

''Hmmmm. Meat.''

Ilar looked up from his thinking as a young boy stirred in his sleep. The black haired kid was covered in bandages and slept like nothing was going on. Why was the Alabastan so adamant in saving that kid?

Then his eyes fell on the hat that was on the dresser next to the bed. A straw hat.

Yes, today is an interesting day.

-GWTF-

''Sanji,'' I said with an annoyed voice. ''Please explain why we are both riding together on the same duck.''

''Because I won't leave you alone in your state,'' answered Sanji who sat behind me on the duck we rode on.

Okay. This situation needs some explanation. We got attacked by a Sandora Catfish. But instead of getting eaten, the Kung Fu Dugongs we've met a few days ago rescued us from said catfish. After the defeat of the monstrously big fish they let use the catfish as a raft while they were pulling it. As we got on land, I tried to get some Dugongs on the team to help us out. Which failed again like those days ago. I just wanted some Kung Fu Dugongs as nakama. Those in _This Bites!_ are simply awesome.

Not long after that – and getting a bump from Nami due to a failed Dugong smuggling attempt – Carue and the Super Spot-Billed Duck Squad appeared on the scene.

So we all got on a duck, even Eyelashes, and rode them to get to Alubarna. The duck Sanji and I were riding looked like a chill guy. He wore a cowboy hat and glasses. What was his name again? I don't really remember.

But yeah, Sanji pretty much went on the same duck as I did and announced to everyone that he would protect 'Alexandra-chwan' and won't leave her out of his sight. And what would you think? The others just accepted that. I'm a freaking adult! I can take care of myself.

Anyway, the sun was already rising and I saw something on the horizon.

''What do you mean with my state?'' I grumbled to Sanji. ''I highly doubt that a camel on a duck is a good decoy for a princes. Whoever got that idea clearly got too many hits on the head.''

''You can maybe try to fool some of us, but something happened in Rainbase and I won't leave a troubled woman on her own.''

Curse your woman-in-distress-senses Sanji. I've shifted my focus, so I should be fine. ''There are more important things now. Like Vivi's kingdom!''

Just at that moment, something flew in our direction.

A baseball…

''Get away from it!'' shouted Zoro.

As the ducks avoided the baseball, it exploded with a loud bang.

''Here we go!''

With the explosion behind us, the ducks separated in three groups.

With another duck running next to us, we made our way to the east. I could only hope that this plan works: distract the number Agents so that Vivi could stop the rebels.

With loud thumping steps, the ducks ran over the sand. At my left, I could see the mighty rocks that housed Alabasta's capital city Alubarna. In front of us were some ruins.

''Perhaps this is a good place to stop!'' said Sanji.

I looked back to the path we've treaded and saw two people approaching us. One was a big round guy with short blonde hair and thick lips. The other was an old woman with fuzzy hair, purple sunglasses and a tie that looked like a Christmas three. Mr. 4 and Miss Merry Christmas.

''I had my fun, my dears,'' said Sanji in a sweet tone. Why don't we reveal our true forms?''

We dismounted the ducks an threw off our white mantles. Our enemies would've expected to find Vivi, only to see a big fuzzy guy with a pink hat, a dandy looking guy in a suit who lighted a cigarette and a blonde woman wearing a desert cloak covered in blood splatters.

''TOO BAD, TRY AGAIN!'' we said.

The surprised expressions on the faces of our enemies were so priceless, I couldn't hide a grin.

''WHAT!?/WHUUUUUUUUUUU…!?''

''Eyup,'' I said with a pop at the 'p' while I waved a peace sign. ''The princes is in another castle.''

''UUUAAAAAAAAAAAA…..!?''

''Whatdidyousay!?''

''AAAAAAAAAAAAT!?''

-GWTF-

''Run! Run like the wind!'' I spurred the Super Spot-Billed Duck.

Chopper, Sanji and I were ready to face off the baseball duo as two ducks appeared. According to Chopper's translation, Usopp and Eyelashes were in danger. Wasting no minute, I mounted the nearest duck, yelled ''Sayonara bro's!'' and went off.

Why would I leave Chopper and Sanji behind? One: in contrary to the ones I'm going to help, the cook and the doctor can handle themselves just fine. Two: I'm getting annoyed by Sanji's woman-sitting behaviour. He means well, but I'm not a piece of porcelain. I can do things on my own. Three: perhaps I can find Bon Kurei and appeal to his friendly friend side.

As the duck dashed through the streets, I could hear the sounds of battle in the background. Within hearing distance, people are killing.

 _Murderer._

I shook my head. This isn't the time for this. Focus.

Turning in yet another street, I found two familiar bodies on the ground.

I dismounted the duck and went to the side of the long-nosed person.

''Usopp,'' I said as I shook his shoulders. ''Oi, Usopp.''

I looked at the camel next to me. ''Eyelashes, get up!''

''Oh, Alexandra,'' said Usopp as he rose from his position. ''Good morning.''

''Morning. Now what happened?''

''Oh, my fight against that guy? The decoy plan was a perfect success.''

Usopp laughed sheepishly.

''But after that it was over in two seconds.''

A bruised Usopp and Eyelashes gave a thumbs-up. Don't ask me how a camel can do that.

''One second for each of us.''

''How little Doriki do you guys even have?!'' I snapped.

''But Alexandra, what are you doing here?''

''Your ducks asked for help so I came as fast as I could,'' I explained. ''Anyway…'' I rubbed my forehead. ''Mister 2. got away and could go after Vivi. So you go help Sanji and Chopper near the ruins at the Southeast Gate!''

''What about you?'' asked Usopp as I was mounting the duck.

''I got a plan to defeat that guy, so don't you worry.''

And I dashed away on the duck.

''Okay, find Vivi as fast as you can!''

The duck quacked in affirmation.

Suddenly a bunch of arrows flew in our direction. With agile paces and me not shrieking like a kid, the duck avoided them.

''It's one of the Super Spot-Billed Duck Squad!'' shouted a soldier. ''Stop firing!''

''Thanks!'' I said as I passed by on the duck.

''The Royal Army!'' shouted voices far behind me.

''Rebels!'' the soldiers responded.

Behind me, I heard the people engaging into battle.

Why can't we have nice things? I shook my head as I tried to block out the sounds of combat.

''STOP!''

Shit, isn't that Vivi?

We turned a corner and saw two of the Super Spot-Billed Duck Squad members ramming into Mr.2.

Carue was slumped on the ground and Vivi looked like an army had stepped on her.

''Everyone!'' I dismounted my duck. ''Sorry I'm late! You still alive?''

''Alexandra-san…''

''There's no need to fight that guy,'' I said as I stretched my legs. I cracked my joints like most people would do with their knuckles. ''I will take care of him.''

I aimed my gaze at Bon Kurei. ''Long time no see buddy…''

''Hey its Chin-chan!''

A vein popped on my head. Did he just call me a little brat who shows off his ass and annoys everybody? O wait, that was Shin Chan. It does sound the same tough.

''Go,'' I advised Vivi.

''Take care of Carue,'' she said.

I heard Vivi running away and I saw that the other ducks carried Carue to a save place. I didn't look away from Mr. 2. He would be an ally in the future, but now he is a dangerous enemy. It's a good thing that I know which buttons to push.

''Ahh! She's escaping from me-! Stop joooking around!''

I looked at Bon Kurei. ''And here I thought we were friends,'' I said with a pout. ''Why are you doing this?''

''Zero-chan will get me killed if I fail,'' he said as he got in a fighting stance. ''I'm sorry but you are in the waaaay.''

Wow shit! I barely managed to avoid a kick.

''No he won't!'' I said as I dodged another kick with my speed. ''Because Luffy will kick his ass.''

''Impooosible-!'' said Bon Kurei with a singsong voice. ''Zero-chan got rid of Straw-chan.''

''That's what he said!'' I jumped a few times up to prevent a hit.

''Stooop joooking around! We are almost at our goal!''

''And he will make sure that he is the only one who can reap the benefits!''

Bon Kurei stopped twirling in the middle of a pirouette.

''Whaaaaat?''

I began panting as I got back on the ground. But at least I got his attention now without getting attacked.

''C-crocodile planted a hah bomb in the city. Everything will be blown in pieces. Huff. Including the agents guarding said bomb.''

The okama rose an eyebrow. ''And why should I believe that?''

I straightened myself. ''Because we're friends. And I don't let my friends die.''

I saw him hesitating as I pulled out the friendship card.

''But that is vague. Only the Officer Agents should know about Zero-chan's plans. So hoooooow do you know?''

Shit. I didn't want to use _that_. But perhaps I could gain his trust by telling the truth.

''It's a secret. But you are my friend. So I can trust you. Right?''

Bon Kurei stepped a bit back.

''You want to trust me? After all this time?''

''Always,'' I said with a solemn voice.

''Tell me.'' He held his hands behind his ears. ''I'm aaaaal ears-.''

''Ever heard about people who know impossible things? I'm one of them.''

''Reaaaaly?'' he asked as he rose an eyebrow. ''What do you know about me?''

I began to grin as I realised that I would blow somebody's mind in a few seconds.

''Your real name is Bentham,'' I said as I stepped in his direction. ''Your dream is to meet the Okama Queen Emporio Ivankov.'' I got closer to him. ''And I happen to know where to find that person.''

Bentham's mouth fell so far open, his jaw hit the ground. Jep. Mind is blown.

''Alexandra-chan-! I'm here to save you!''

I turned around and saw a certain cook running in my direction.

I waved. ''Heeey Sanji! I just made a new friend!''

''Who's that!?'' yelled Bentham and Sanji at the same time.

I pointed to the two persons. ''Sanji, this is Bentham. Bentham, Sanji. Now be nice to each other, okay?''

''Why is that ballerina wearing Usopp's goggles?''

I didn't really pay attention to that, but now I saw that Bentham indeed got goggles on his head.

''Benthaaaam-?''

''Eh?''

I gently removed the goggles from Bentham's head. ''These belong to a friend of mine. You didn't steal them huh?''

This could make things awkward, so I need to get this done with quickly.

I handed the goggles over to Sanji. ''Can you bring these to Usopp? We will meet at the Palace to help Vivi.''

''I won't leave you on your own, Alexandra-chan. Not after I finally found you.''

I sighed. ''Sanji, I got some important information for the kingdom. If that isn't going where is needs to be in time, countless lives will be lost.''

''Then I will go with you.''

''And who will tell the others to meet at the Palace?'' I said as I folded my arms.

''They are dumbasses –except Nami-swan- but not that dumb.''

Knowing this isn't a battle I could win, I sighed once more.

''Okay then.'' I gestured to Sanji and Bentham to get closer. ''I got a plan.''

-GWTF-

AN:

*The official English name of Geppo is Moonwalk. One guess who is well known for this walk…

**Indy Retour Afzender can be read as Indy Return to Sender. Retour Afzender is a Dutch term used for letters or post that get send back to the sender.

The song that was partly used in this chapter was Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics

Urgh. This chapter was hard to write. Especially the events on the roof took several rewrites. I mean, letting a character experience stuff like that while I've never experienced stuff like that myself isn't easy. I hope this stuff wasn't too dark.

And sorry for taking so long with writing and updating. We are almost done with the Alabasta Arc. Just one more chapter to wrap it all up.

Review corner:

Gamelover41592: I had plans to let Lex getting slapped too. But I planned for the bloody event for this chapter for quite a while and I didn't want too much suffering in two chapters in a row ^^''

Kitsu (guest): Call me sappy, but your words lifted up my heart. Thank you so much.


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